Focus, Limerick (Pun) Options Track this topic Email this topic Print this topic Download this topic Subscribe to this forum Display Modes Outline Switch to: Standard Switch to: Linear+

[Larry]

Focus

Three young men who bred cattle in France
Chose a name for their place, not by chance.
So as not to confuse,
A small pun they did use;
Which explained everything at a glance





L5 did read: For they felt it explained at a glance

___________________________________________

*footnote removed - If you need an explanation, look at Mark's post!

[Maggie]

Hi Larry,

I'm afraid this is too complex for me! I believe poems should be able to stand on their own without footnotes. This doesn't seem clear enough without the footnote. Also, the two short lines are 6 syllables each. I'm almost positive a limerick should be
9
9
5
5
9

I've taken the liberty of shortening the needed lines by 1 syllable each
and changed "chance" to "romance."

Focus ( Your version)

Three young men who bred cattle in France
Chose a name for their place, not by chance.
So as not to confuse,
A small pun they did use;
For they felt it explained at a glance


Focus (My suggested version)

Three young men who bred cattle in France
Chose a name for their place, not by chance.
So not to confuse, 5
A small pun they used, 5
For they felt it explained cow romance. (Thought you might consider "romance.")

Of course you're the poet, so use or lose.

Peggy

[Marc-Andre Germa...]

Peggy,

In accentual-syllabic poetry, we count by metrical feet rather than by syllables only. The limerick starts with two anapestic trimeters, i.e three feet of a-na-PEST, two anapestic dimeters, i.e. two feet of a-na-PEST and ends with an anapestic trimeter. The pattern is thus

xxX/xxX/xxX/
xxX/xxX/xxX/
xxX/xxX/
xxX/xxX/
xxX/xxX/xxX/

That said, iambic substitutions ( i-AMB) are common, especially in the initial foot, and sometimes in the dimeter lines. Your version would still be acceptable, but Larry's is purest in form.

There are three main metrical systems:
- syllabic: counts the number of syllables, that is the system used in unstressed languages, like French;
- accentual: counts the stressed beats regardless of syllable count;
- accentual-syllabic: the formal English meter, metrical feet composed of stressed and unstressed beats. The four commonest ones are the iamb ( xX ), the trochee ( Xx ), the anapest ( xxX ) and the dactyl ( Xxx ). Then you count the number of feet per line to get: monometer, dimeter, trimeter, tetrameter, pentameter, hexameter, heptameter ( this line length is known as "fourteeners") and octometer.

If this is still confusing, let me know and I'll come back with clear examples for each.

I hope this helps,

Mark