Senile Cat - Senyru, First attempt . Options

[Sekhmet]

In this Senyru, the number of dots indicate the length of time the cat watches the mouse hole -
each dot = 10 minutes. I will attempt a comment within the week!
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First Revision

Senile cat watches
those dark,alluring mouseholes...
... meanwhile, mice eat cheese

Leo

[Larry]

Hey Leo,

Bring it back and re-post it. To get the 5-7-5 form, all you need to do is switch the first and second line and get rid of one syl in what now is the first line. Suggestion:

Mice rob cheese from traps
Senile cat sleeps on the job
News at eleven

This is probably considered to be a Senryu but you can call it a Haiku if you want to. It is yours!

I consider this to be very amusing for I have 9 cats, 3 of which are probably becoming senile and I also have a number of mice (mainly field mice because I live in the woods) that do what they please around those three. I don't set traps anymore. The other 6 cats are very proficient and will wipe that smug look off a mouses face in a millisecond.

Please come back.

Larry