Haiku, 4th Revision Options

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

4th revision

I awake...equate
Hyacynth knifes through thin snow
must be spring time now.

3rd Revison

I awake...equate
lily heads wave above thin snow
must be spring time now.

2nd revision

I awake...equate
lilies grow in thin snow;
they spring forth in Spring.

Revised

I awake...equate
flowers grow a thin snow;
must be spring now.

Original

I awake, equate
flower grows from white snow bank
must be spring time now.

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

I have revised a second time, I notice that I forgot the word time in the third line there, but redid whole third line, and used Lilies instead of the generic flowers. I still like thin snow...lol. Peggy, I am not sure about inner rhyme in Hiaku, hmmm I know that end ryhmes are not right but not about inner rhyme. So if I did three lines of inner rhyme I could call it Steve-aku?

I equate...debate
on this line of inner rhyme
it does not ring...Spring.

Steve