Haiku, 4th Revision Options

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

4th revision

I awake...equate
Hyacynth knifes through thin snow
must be spring time now.

3rd Revison

I awake...equate
lily heads wave above thin snow
must be spring time now.

2nd revision

I awake...equate
lilies grow in thin snow;
they spring forth in Spring.

Revised

I awake...equate
flowers grow a thin snow;
must be spring now.

Original

I awake, equate
flower grows from white snow bank
must be spring time now.

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Larry, thanks for stopping by to read, I debated on whether 'flower grows' or 'flowers grow' would be better. and yes the elipse does work better than the comma thanks. I also change the 2nd line as everyone knows snow is white, and a bank implies a large amount of snow, so now its a thin snow like you get toward spring.
Steve