Poltergeist, lyric Options

[Merlin]

Here's a shorty, note that the writer and narrator are not the same.



Poltergeist

When evening shadows grope
over the boxwood hedge,
screeches careen into my ears
here in this blue-lit room
where twilight shelters me
but still that poltergeist appears.

There’s nowhere left I can run
and nothing more for me to do.
What’s that? I hear footsteps. *
There’s nobody here!
No-one is near,
no dreaded incubus, **
no evil voodoo spell,
no booze to paralyze my fear.


* formerly 1 sentence with comma.
** originally phantom incubus,
leading to probable tautology, thx Jax

[Merlin]

Hi Ron,
he actually steals one from Rooster when R is snoozing.



Hello Jax,

Thank you for your insight and commenting.

I’ll concede that L6 S2 will be a problem and an adjustment is necessary. Before going with it, I did consult Answers.com, who list 3 definitions for both phantom & incubus. They can be, but need not be the same. However, since the natural conclusion will be a ghost, and since that does require explanation, it’s not right.

Your other points >>>

It seems accentual trimeter
Meter is varied, made to fit the presentation instead of following any set standard.

Can a screech careen
Yes, if it’s bouncing off walls.

Using twi-lit would clash with twilight right below it.

“where twilight shelters me
where the poltergeist appears”
Hmmm – wears out the wheres, dontcha think?

Do poltergeists have footsteps?
Is it the poltergeist making the footsteps?

You feel a draft?


Merlin