Come're Options

[Guest_sigh_*]

"Come're. Come here, to me."
Pretending not to see, to hear,
averting her gaze away,
her head shakes side to side,
lips pursed into a thin, tight line.

He smiles, and waits, she would come.
They always come to him; eventually.

Afternoon visitor upset with his lurking
shaking her helpless fist and cursing.
Offering exchange - a deal - foolish promises.
He looks away, as if he cannot see, or hear
not even bothering to pretend to care.

Persistant whispers:
"Come're. Come to me."
He would not chase her down,
Her pupils so large in the night -
so pretty; delicate flower; lovely.

Coaxing, "Come....come now to me".
From her bed she rises into his embrace,
thinking, "This is not so bad".
He savors her sweet breath, tenderly offering escape.
She remembers she's beautiful and she smiles.


Morning comes and they are gone
fragile old bones lay alone


The kiss of death

[Guest_sigh_*]

Snow, thank you so much for the detailed critique. I've been thinking over your suggestions for some time now and I'm just about ready to rewrite. I do like this piece but I, like you, think it requires some adjustments.

Initially this piece was much longer and I cut it down and I can see that the edits leave some confusion. I think I can still keep it about the same length and still sharpen it up for clarity. Again thank you and thank you to everyone that took the time to read this and also comment.

Sigh