 When Mourning Dawns, an older poem of mine |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Poetry Exhibition -> Plato's Pearls of Wisdom
 Nov 22 07, 18:13
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#1
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 Nomad  Posts: 12 Joined: 1-September 03 From: Mississippi Member No.: 24 Real Name: Poppy Writer of: Poetry  |
When Mourning Dawns
All day your name has been against my mind and hurt me like the too frail loveliness of pear blooms in the rain. All night my voice undefined has swung from star to star to call you back. Tomorrow I will know that you can't come and after that I won't know anything but small hard shells against my bare feet and sand upon my lips at dawn. *Just trying to get back into the groove of posting my work and commenting on the work of others, figured this would be a good place to start.* ·······  ·······~Poppy~
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Replies
| Guest_Xanadu_* |
Nov 25 07, 14:33
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#2
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This was a nice read. Only a couple of pics. The first two lines of both the first and the last stanzas seem just a tad too wordy. But, I am a minimalist at heart. I love the line about the shells against your bare feet. Thank you for sharing.
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Posts in this topic
MissLuckyPenny When Mourning Dawns Nov 22 07, 18:13 
Merlin Hello Poppy,
Tis a good place to be.
I don't ... Nov 22 07, 22:28 Cleo_Serapis Hi Poppy,
Wow - this is pretty intense for a 3 ve... Nov 23 07, 06:31 MissLuckyPenny Thank you, Merlin and Lori, for the kind comments... Nov 23 07, 15:42 Aphrodite Hi Poppy,
This is a very touching and melancholy ... Nov 25 07, 09:25 4rum MissLuckyPenny;
(love that name)
There was a pe... Nov 27 07, 09:56 Eisa Hi Poppy - It's a real treat to read your work... Jan 5 08, 11:41 jgdittier Dear Miss Lucky Penny,
How close your poem here ap... Sep 20 08, 06:48 Viking Poppy
Don't know if you remember me from Poem... Dec 1 15, 20:53 
JustDaniel Hey, Poppy...
don't know if you're readin... Dec 2 15, 09:33 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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