Stoned, 14-er Options

[Merlin]

I figgered I'd toss another one into the ring. It's in the holiday class spirit, still shooting fer 50. Sho-nuff quiet in here. I penned this to a picture, but now can't find the link. Hope it makes sense without the photo. M




Stonehenge, Winter Solstice

Bejeweled in hoar, dried stalks of yarrow stand
forlorn, like plainsmen from a far flung zone
whose duty is to guard the circle stones
as pilgrim troupes arrive from distant lands.

One band of faithful, several hundred strong,
have made their camp, a village of a sort,
beyond the bounds. Their children join in sports
while men-folk meet, debating rights and wrongs.

When daylight pales the eastern starless skies,
a mellow chant implores indulgent gods
and every living saint to turn this sod
back into fertile ground lest all must die.

The daystar casts its rays across the plains;
devotees note their quest is not in vain.




Original
Bejeweled in hoar, dried stalks of yarrow stand
forlorn, like plainsmen from a far flung zone
who guard the mystic ring of circle stones
and watch as pilgrims come from distant lands.

One group of faithful, several hundred strong,
have made their camp, a village of a sort,
not far away. Their children play at sports
while men-folk meet, debating right and wrong.

When daylight pales the eastern starless sky,
a mellow chanting starts, imploring gods
and every living saint to turn these sods
back into fertile ground lest all must die.

The daystar casts its rays across the plain;
observers note their chants are not in vain.

[jgdittier]

Dear Merlin,
Along with your mastery of poetic literacy, I know you place great importance in choosing your words carefully and attempting to make your thoughts as clear as the constraints of R&M permit.
Thus I believe your use of the word "chant", is integral to your intent and need not be rethought.
Cheers, Ron jgd