Words [Rev 2, 27 Oct], Rhyme in Heptameter Options

[Larry]

Revision #2 (thanks to Mary, Merlin & Amythyst)

Words

Strange lines, woven together in an odd, haphazard way,
are writhing on with twists and turns. Across the centuries
they’re painted, coarsely carved in caves; all meaning lost today,
or finely penned on parchment in precise calligraphy‘s

revealing goodness, evil, love or hatred, truth or lies;
reside where they’re ensconced, awaiting one who understands.
When heralding a birth or etched in stone at one’s demise,
each line is new. Though used before by many different hands;

they’re easily affordable to paupers and to kings.
The cost is naught but knowledge of their structure and portent.
Lines neither know the smiles or tears their convolution brings,
nor wait, with baited breath, returns, from where they’re sometimes sent.

From animal caricatures to geometric forms,
these lines give meaning to a thought, a way, a time or place.
Linguistically elusive, yet their shape, like mother’s arms;
when understood, brings to the mind the Words in warm embrace.

Dedicated to Wordsmiths everywhere and everywhen.

[Merlin]

Hi Larry,
I would encourage fewer end-stopped pairs and more enjambos. Your V1 could read:

The lines, all strung together in a strange haphazard way
are writhing on with twists and turns across the centuries,
So [all] coarsely carved within a cave. Their meaning lost today,
or [is] finely penned on parchment in precise calligraphy's.

You've completely lost me as to why "calligraphy" down in L4 is apostro-traumatized. Plural? Possessive? Typo?

The fragment that is V2L1 could easily be remedied as:
Some tell [of] good and evil, love and hate, or truth and lies.
It could also be melded in L2 to make a sentence.

Merlin

[Larry]

Merlin,
(What an appropriate name) for you are a wizard with words and your critiques are always helpful in improving/polishing potential gems to their deserved lustre.

I see your point in V1/L3&4, and should probably change those to words to "from" and "to" respectively. I can't use "all" because they are not all carved within a cave. Perhaps this would be better:

The lines, all strung together in a strange haphazard way
are writhing on with twists and turns across the centuries;
from coarsely carved within a cave, their meaning lost today;
to finely penned on parchment in precise calligraphies.

(I wasn't sure about the "y" or "ies" and, yes, (calligraphy's/ies) was supposed to be plural.)

Excellent suggestion for V2/L1! Do you think this would work?

Some tell of good and evil, love and hate, or truth and lies;
are resting where they're placed, awaiting one who understands.

I know I use far too many end-stops and not nearly enough enjambments and will strive to work on that and other technical aspects of my poetry but after writing for more than 40 years, good and bad habits are hard to break or change.

Again, thanks for the crits and insight.

Larry