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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
jgdittier
When I was young, my mother taught me so
To use my handkerchief if nose to blow
And if a cough or sneeze I had to yield,
To use that trusty rag as yet a shield.
But then came paper tissues laundered not,
So little Johnny's cold- he'd nought to blot
And rarely does he have a tissue, thus
His cough goes to the air to share with us!
His mother mentions sleeves and she affirms
They better be to capture all those germs.
And so, those cloths where viri gathered tight,
Throughout the air they float and love their flight.
 Might Kneenex be the darling now of science
 Or sleeves it be on which we place reliance?
Merlin
Hi Ron,

Golly - I sho-enuff wish more mothers would still teach their kids something - even covering your mouth when yawning would help.  The young generation especially just seems to open wide whenever the need strikes.

I remember handkerchiefs.  Horrible things they were.  Think about it, you saved that in your pocket - why?  Kleenex were a great invention, I do believe.

Merlin
JLY
Ron,
A nice story that brings back memories we have all experienced.

One point that may just be me,,,, but when I read the following line, in my mind I interject the word nasty

They better be to capture all those nasty germs.

JLY
heartsong7
Cute sonnet, Ron.
Kleenix is nice but only if they'll remember to throw it away after using. It's not great to come across wadded up in the bottom of a pocket...or forgotten there and put through the washer.  yuck!  :speechless:
Sue
Cyn
I loved this one Ron. Well done.


Now where did I put my kleenex?
Cleo_Serapis
Hi Ron.  StarWars4.gif

I enjoyed your poem and the topic is near and dear to my heart. No! Not the snot rags of old, the Kleenex of today - whipppeee!  dance.gif  I never could fathom how one who carries around a nice, hankerchief would put it back and reuse it throughout the day - eeeewwww!  upside.gif  oops.gif  grinning.gif

Here are a few suggestions I've noted for you below.

May your nose know....  :StarWars5:
Cheers!
~Cleo  Pharoah.gif

[add] {delete}

When I was young, my mother taught me so
To use my handkerchief if nose {to} [I’d] blow
And if a cough or sneeze I had to yield,
To use that trusty rag[,] {as yet a} [for it’s my] shield.
But then came paper tissues laundered not,
So little Johnny's cold- he'd nought to blot
And rarely does he have a tissue, thus
His cough[,] {goes to} [into] the air[,] to share with us!
His mother mentions sleeves and she affirms
They better be to capture all those germs. (perhaps italicize this line)
And so, those cloths where viri gathered tight,
{Throughout the} [bounding through] air[,] they float[;] {and love} [loving] their flight.
Might Kneenex be the darling now of science
Or sleeves it be on which we place reliance?
jgdittier
Dear All,
I bend to the fact the theory of kleenex has overcome. It must be a boon for moms who need not wash soiled handkerchieves much like dispensible diapers. However, I suspect few mothers realize how anathma kleenex is to kids, especially those while in class. Does each child carry a handi-pack  in class and at play? If not, are sniffly kids in constant motion getting and disposing of them during class? Does the school ever run out of them? Are multiple waste baskets strewn throughout the room?
Has this devotion to throw-aways reduced the incidence of colds and flu? I'm not sure Kimberly-Clark ever claimed that.
I assume kleenex works fine for purse-bearing ladies, but do you ladies know the truth re your husbands and children.
Is your son emulating his daddy by snorting directly to the ground in short-sleeve weather? Ever wonder why little johnny's cuffs are brittle?
Excuse me, I must clear my nasal passage!
Cheers,   Ron   jgd
Cleo_Serapis
rofl.gif rofl.gif rofl.gif
jgdittier
Dear All,
Well, I've oft proclaimed I'm out of the mainstream!
I wasn't expecting an uprising of support!
Now, to comments on the poetic aspect.

line two- I'd instead of to
line4- I'll leave it as is as I think of it as a shield for others rather than for me
line 8- accept the comma, little difference otherwise
line10-needs work, I was trying to say that even using the sleeve is better than coughing into the air. Coughing into the hands no good unless you can wash quickly and don't shake hands.
line12-must keep not to destroy the meter
line10-nasty adds an extra foot

My handkerchieves are in my pocket, soiled as they be as I suffer constantly nasally. I'll show you mine if you show me yours (mini-pack).

Cheers,   Ron   jgd
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