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Cathy
Comfort

Roses fall from heaven,
misted by angel tears;
rainbow-hued dew drops
lay comfort aground.

Roses ascend to heaven,
drenched in human tears;
weary, restless souls
know comfort abounds.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Dec2005
AMETHYST
Hi Cathy,


I enjoyed this very much. The flipsided view of a rose, metaphored as both angels and passing souls shows the circle of life nicely. I also felt the length of the poem compacted some very strong meaning that builds in each line. I like the contrast of stanza 1 from stanza 2 and the lovely images the choice words bring to life. I thought the form, rhyme scheme chosen could be changed in order to bring this to a higher potential. All else, wonderful poem...

Best Wishes and hugs, Liz





QUOTE
Comfort

Roses fall from heaven,
misted by angel tears;
rainbow-hued dew drops
lay comfort aground.

Roses ascend to heaven,
drenched in human tears;
weary, restless souls
know comfort abounds.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Dec2005
Arnfinn
Hi Cathy,


I read a poem of yours a couple of days ago, I didn't comment though, I could read the sadness, and I wasn't at all sure of the circumstances, so best not to make any remarks on delicate subjects. :)



Roses fall from heaven,
misted by angel tears;
rainbow-hued dew drops
lay comfort aground.

Roses ascend to heaven,
drenched in human tears;
weary, restless souls
know comfort abounds.


Here again, saddness. I undestand the theme and can comment.


The first stanza fall from heaven,

The second ascend to heaven,

Associated words are rise and fall, and ascend and descend. Fall and rise are one syllable whereas ascend and descend are two. T/L

The first stanza defines that a loved one is at rest which brings sadness and no comfort. The last stanza, denotes the sorrow of the loss, unwavering love and   the comfort of friends.

You get you feelings across very well Cathy.     :)


Sometimes, much more can be said in two well written simple stanza's, than expanding our thoughts and lntroducing the verbose to the reader.



John  :troy:  :wizard:
Cathy
Hi Liz,

I enjoyed this very much. The flipsided view of a rose, metaphored as both angels and passing souls shows the circle of life nicely. I also felt the length of the poem compacted some very strong meaning that builds in each line. I like the contrast of stanza 1 from stanza 2 and the lovely images the choice words bring to life. I thought the form, rhyme scheme chosen could be changed in order to bring this to a higher potential. All else, wonderful poem...

I was trying to get this down before losing the thoughts.  I wasn't even thinking in terms of form at the time I wrote it.  I will keep that in mind when revising.  Thanks!

Cathy
Cathy
Hi John,

I read a poem of yours a couple of days ago, I didn't comment though, I could read the sadness, and I wasn't at all sure of the circumstances, so best not to make any remarks on delicate subjects.  

I've read some poems like that.  You're never sure what to say ...



Roses fall from heaven,
misted by angel tears;
rainbow-hued dew drops
lay comfort aground.

Roses ascend to heaven,
drenched in human tears;
weary, restless souls
know comfort abounds.


Here again, saddness. I undestand the theme and can comment.


The first stanza fall from heaven,

The second ascend to heaven,

Associated words are rise and fall, and ascend and descend. Fall and rise are one syllable whereas ascend and descend are two. T/L

T/L?  

The first stanza defines that a loved one is at rest which brings sadness and no comfort. The last stanza, denotes the sorrow of the loss, unwavering love and   the comfort of friends.

It's strange, but I'm not sure what my intent was when I wrote this.  It just kinda wrote itself.  Possibly what you are describing or even the loss of a relationship ...

You get you feelings across very well Cathy.  

Thank you John!  Now, if I could only understand them ... *smiles*  


Sometimes, much more can be said in two well written simple stanza's, than expanding our thoughts and lntroducing the verbose to the reader.

I agree.  Thank you for your comments!  

Cathy
rose.gif
Jox
Hi Cathy,

I have no technical suggestions for this piece - seems fine to me.

I think this is a very clever poem, juxtaposing descent and ascent really well. You have also used the concept of crying to very good effect.

I think that, if I were religious, I would take even more from this - but even as things stand, I still think it is a poem which has a distinct message and delivers it really well.

You have kept the poem simple and clear, yet employed sophisticated language to convey the message succinctly.

Comfort (very good and apt title)

rainbow-hued dew drops (great phrase!)

Very well done; thanks for the read.

J.
Cathy
Hi James,

I have no technical suggestions for this piece - seems fine to me.

Thank you!

I think this is a very clever poem, juxtaposing descent and ascent really well. You have also used the concept of crying to very good effect.

Thanks!  I was hoping it would come across alright.

I think that, if I were religious, I would take even more from this - but even as things stand, I still think it is a poem which has a distinct message and delivers it really well.

Thanks again.  I'm not a religious person either, spiritual but not religious and I think it still carries meaning.

You have kept the poem simple and clear, yet employed sophisticated language to convey the message succinctly.

I'm glad you think so. *smiles*

Comfort (very good and apt title)

rainbow-hued dew drops (great phrase!)

Thanks on both counts!

Very well done; thanks for the read.

Your welcome, thanks for commenting!

Cathy
dove.gif  :rose:
Merlin
Roses and teardrops - tis beautiful.

Merlin
Nina
Hi Cathy

A lovely, sad but hopeful poem.  Descent and ascent, fall and rise, low and high.  

Roses fall from heaven,
misted by angel tears;
rainbow-hued dew drops
lay comfort aground.


Fragile rose petals tumbling down from a high, still feeling the residue of the tears of joy and colour

Roses ascend to heaven,
drenched in human tears;
weary, restless souls
know comfort abounds.

The delicate rose rising from the depths again, there is still hope.  The tears have been cried but there is comfort to be found perhaps in spirituality or other people or from within ones own inner strength.

Nina
Cathy
Thank you Merlin!   rose.gif
Cathy
Hi Nina,

A lovely, sad but hopeful poem.  Descent and ascent, fall and rise, low and high.  

There is always hope, isn't there?

Roses fall from heaven,
misted by angel tears;
rainbow-hued dew drops
lay comfort aground.


Fragile rose petals tumbling down from a high, still feeling the residue of the tears of joy and colour

Roses ascend to heaven,
drenched in human tears;
weary, restless souls
know comfort abounds.

The delicate rose rising from the depths again, there is still hope.  The tears have been cried but there is comfort to be found perhaps in spirituality or other people or from within ones own inner strength.

Sometimes you have to delve deeply for that inner strength but it is there.

Thanks Nina!

Cathy
rose.gif
JustDaniel
Well, Cat, you have already hear my comment on this, but I'll repeat it, that it is a great circuit you describe here... and Liz has described it well.

You already spoke the comment regarding the spiritual significance of this.  I think that if I were a religious man I'd not get anything extra from this either!  :upside:

deLightingly, Daniel  :sun:
Cathy
Hi Daniel,

It's good to see you here!  

I think there is a difference between being spiritual and being religious.  It's hard to explain but it's there.  I'm glad you enjoyed this one.

Thank you for commenting!

Cathy dove.gif  :rose:
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