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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
JLY
DICHOTOMY

Murky minds
cloud judgment,
impair thought,
appear diffident.

Lucid minds
sans impairment,
render clarity,
appear coherent.

Free form verse,
often non-metric,
irregularly formed,
appears chaotic.

Fixed form verse,
always rhythmic,
smoothly paced,
appears systematic.
Cathy
Hi John,

Nice comparison of the two ... although I don't think that free verse is
necessarily "chaotic".  lol  As a matter of fact I think sometimes it's easier
to express yourself with free verse because you aren't held back by certain
restrictions.  And yet, I love the rhyme and meter of fixed forms too!

A suggestion or two, use or lose  :pumpkin:

Murky minds
cloud judgment,
impair thought,
appear diffident.

Lucid minds[,]
sans impairment[;]{,}
render clarity,
appear coherent.

Free form verse[-]{,}
often non-metric,
irregularly formed[-]{,}
appears chaotic.

Fixed form verse[-]{,}
always rhythmic,
smoothly paced[-]{,}
appears systematic.


Just punctuation this time!  lol  And I'm not real good at that so you might want to wait for other suggestions!!

Cathy zombie.gif
JLY
Cathy,
From my perspective, Free Verse is chaotic....I like structure in my life and in my poetry.
Don't sell yourself short....your punctuation tips are just what I need.
JLY
Don
Hi John,

I like your dichotomies.  I liked your escape hatches of they "appear" to be.

The structure says that murky minds are attracted to FV.  I wish people would stop saying FV is easier, which is not neccessarily so.  Covered with feathers does not assure flight.

Though software grammar is far from ideal, an easy way to check punctuation is to reformat the poem into prose and run it past software of your choice.  

Don

wave.gif
JLY
Don,
Thanks for the punctuation tip...that will help.  I still think FV is the easy way to go but like anything, to write FV or Rhyme, it still takes some level of expertise.
JLY
Cleo_Serapis
Love your title John.

Love your poem and its flow.

Love the message within.

You rock! hsdance.gif

~Cleo sun.gif
Nina
Hi John

I can't agree with you that FV is chaotic.  For me it is a way of expressing exactly what I want to say whereas R & M is more restrictive.  What is said has to fit the form or the rhyme


Nina
Cleo_Serapis
Hi Nina. wave.gif

I read that in a different way. detective.gif I read it as the MC claiming FV 'appears' chaotic, not that it actually 'is' chaotic.  One of the huge differences with FV, one can add shape, make each line long or short, add space to it - lots more freedom with it than with forms....

Cheers
Cleo cheer.gif

P.S. (Without reading John's reply to Cathy - went by the poem only).




JLY
Lori,
Thanks for your very supportive comments, they are much appreciated.
JLY
JLY
Nina,
That is what makes the world go 'round.  Everyone has different perspectives and that is why MM is such a fun place. If we all believed the same thing it would be awfully boring.  I love to write FV, but for me it is more difficult and perplexing than structured form.
JLY
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