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Tao
Revised thanks to Don and others for your suggestions, still not much of a sonnet but a little better...Tao  :frenchie:

Can I Write a Sonnet?

I ask myself as a fledgling poet
if it’s possible to write a sonnet.
A greater fool can see with both eyes closed,
Shakespeare I’m not, not for million ducats.
The old word wizard had magic fingers,
a feather, some ink and thought that lingers.
Comic, tragic, historic romantic,
this form the master’s poetic swagger.
One way is to write it in three quatrains
another combines octave with sestet
each line with five feet, a pentameter,
the flow iambic, flailing something close.
The former ends with single rhymed couplet
and as I look back, I think I’ve done it!
Zeus²
David,
not fair, you had all the rules and directions built in to the sonnet.

But at least they were the right ones, so I guess you succeded.
I am still a sub novice sonneteer, so will leave the critical thoughts to the
critters.

You made it look easy.
Larry
Tao
Hey Larry,

You're my first "customer." Sub novice? Didn't know you served on a submarine. Thought you were on a tanker during active duty, carrying jet fuel? laugh.gif

Oh, I'm sure my scansion's all wrong and my rhyming sucked, not even sure if they used ducats in the Elizabethan era. But you know what? I had fun doing it and that's not too bad.

BTW, I'm not sure if Zeus should be squared or cubed, halved maybe. The last thing we need is more Herculeses running around, half-god children out of wedlock logging all their dysfunctional family problems. laugh.gif

David
Merlin
Greetings Tao,



How to write a sonnet:

You grab some paper and a bald-point pen
Or one with ink – yes, that might be the best.
Now doodle till a thought comes by, and then
Hold on; find words that are not stressed.

The unstressed words go first, then third and fifth,
And in between you place the heavy ones.
You’ve now debunked that age-old sonnet myth
That this is hard… soon you’ll be writing tons!

Now TURN around, a Volta’s needed here,
An answer to the puzzle posed above.
It’s most important – very much, my dear…
Without a proper Volta, it ain’t love!

iAMbic PENTaMETer IS the FLOW –
now READy, SET, kaBOOM – let’s GO!


Wizard.gif


Merlin
Don
QUOTE(Merlin @ May 27 2004, 23:18)
Greetings Tao,



How to write a sonnet:

You grab some paper and a bald-point pen
Or one with ink – yes, that might be the best.
Now doodle till a thought comes by, and then
Hold on; find words that are not stressed.

The unstressed words go first, then third and fifth,
And in between you place the heavy ones.
You’ve now debunked that age-old sonnet myth
That this is hard… soon you’ll be writing tons!

Now TURN around, a Volta’s needed here,
An answer to the puzzle posed above.
It’s most important – very much, my dear…
Without a proper Volta, it ain’t love!

iAMbic PENTaMETer IS the FLOW –
now READy, SET, kaBOOM – let’s GO!


Wizard.gif


Merlin

Welcome to Mosaic Musings, Merlin.

Rather nice sonnet you plopped into place.


Looking forward to seeing you later.


Don
jgdittier
Dear Merlin,
How simply stated the recipe!
Could you like sonnets less than me?

I was afraid too until I made the mold for beat and rhyme and then poured the thoughts in. They seem to know just where to go.

A grande entrance you've made!
Cheers,    jgd
Don
QUOTE(Tao @ May 27 2004, 13:10)
Can I Write a Sonnet?

I asked myself as a fledgling poet
Present tense will induce more interest.
if it possible to write a sonnet?
do you mean:
is it possible
or
if it's possible?

Any fool can see with both his eyes closed,
The pronoun, "his" is a thorn on this rose.
Shakespeare I’m not, not for million ducats.
The old word wizard had magic fingers,
I like, "...old word wizard...."
a feather, some ink and thought that lingers,
To disparage Shakespeare one could exchange "ink" and "thought."  For most people his ink lingers more than his thoughts.
Please do not exchange.

comic, tragic, historic romantic,
this form the master’s poetic swagger.
One way is to write it in three quatrains
another combines octave with sestet,
each line with five feet, or pentameter,
Perhaps the word "a" instead of "of?"
the rhythm iambic or close to it.
Iambic is a meter or foot, but not rhythm
The former ends with single rhymed couplet
and as I look back, I think I’ve done it!

Tao,

As I am suffering pangs of learning to write good sonnets, I shall share—or dissipate—some angst.

I have been curtly told that there is one and only one true ryhme with "sonnet."  That word as you may have guessed by now is "bonnet."  It does not matter that rhyming dictionaries list more, they are wrong.

Without a doubt by now, you as a poet should know that "it" rhymes with nothing.  English does not have a word that rhymes with the word, "it."

What have you done with the spaces between quatrains?
The last two lines should be pulled down from body to show they are a couplet.

I concede that this is a sonnet standing upon the stage, but a better one looks on from the wings.

Cheers dear bard

Don
Tao
Greetings Merlin,

Welcome to MM! wave.gif

While my little pun may or may not qualify as a sonnet, for I struggle with candence, rhyming and such, yours is no doubt true. I hear the scansion iAMbic clearly and get your point!

Perhaps I suffer from pens un-aged
and, without the bald-point,
I shan't as easily find the sage! Jester.gif

Taking your advice to heart, with thanks. May your time at MM be as treasured as I have my brief stay thus far. Read.gif

Regards,
Tao
Tao
Well Hi Don,

Thank you for your suggestions. I'm sorry to hear of your pangs of learning.  Jester.gif

No, to my slight shame, I did not know that about rhyming sonnet, though I do recall the factoid on it from a while ago, but as you see, that too had escaped my mind!

Re: spaces between quatrains, I seem to recall seeing sonnets printed without line separation despite its component stanzas. It is most often with Shakespeare's, but I could be wrong. But you're right, I found it harder to read without the blank lines.

I concede that this is a sonnet...you are too kind. I wasn't sure if you or anyone would go as far. The title of the poem is a question after all. While I boldly claimed so at the end, it, in the spirit of the entire piece was a pun!

I agree and value all your line-by-line suggestions and comment and will incorporate them on revision. Meanwhile, I'll give it a few days in case there are other ideas, if any, and revise together.

Thank you very much for your usual, thorough review and feedback. I will visit your Marianne sonnet shortly!

Regards,
David
Don
Hi David,

Forgive me for I am such a twit.

Once upon a time sonnets were simple with only three or four, but now the goddess of learning has compounded my simple belief with many, many more.

When upon hands and knees counting cobblestones, one finds them hardly forgiving.  Suicide by insanity...insanity through information overload.

Let us continue up and down the difficult roads.

Don
Tao
Don,

Funny, twit rhymes with it, well, in some circles. You're much too harsh on yourself! Yes, let's down the road to knowledge...and wisdom, but you need to get off your hands and knees first. Your input is very much appreciated. laugh.gif

David
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