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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing
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not a wink shall be counted as loss
if 'stead of sleep one can turn and toss
with a someone who cares
to exercise in pairs
and remembered beforehand to floss

If it's Floss whom you toss in your room
then beware of her iron-stock broom,
'cause she's one o' them snitches
who's found among witches
who spell-cast... then off they will zoom!
they're casting spells, then off they will zoom
to consume all the fruit of the loom
they will eat all the wool
until the're almost full
then devour all the meat in the room

If they're pulling the wool o'er your eyes
then there's one simple rule I'd advise:
use an old parasol
so you'll keep away all
those distractions that come from the skies.
Those distractions that come from the skies
might fool a whole lotta guys.
It could be an angle
who’s coming to tangle,
or an angel – depends on the size!
Of "Depends", angels don't wear a size
there's no need when one sails through the skies.
Whizzing by at mach 10
you won't know if they've been
'cause the spot on the robe quickly dries.
re those angels – depends on the size
lead to arguments amongst the wise
he who cast the first sin
knows how many on that pin
birth of statistics, lies and damn lies

If you know what that last line might mean
or have clues to the ones in between
the first and the third
could you give me a word
that would help me or Idi Amin?
Ah mean there’s no help fur ole Idi,
he’s gone an’ weez-all singin’ sweedie
an’ wherever he went,
ah hope he pays rent
so de doan kick him out like us needy!
a real good kicking for the needy
is necessary - done speed'ly
for it shall come to pass
they gets offa their ass
and learns how to be properly greedy

To be properly greedy, one learns
to take more than he needs while he spurns
any thought of real work;
leave that for the poor jerk
who knows not how to fake tax returns.
Fake tax returns sent to the gum’mit
may cause all your money to plummet,
cuz life in the slammer
lacks much of the glamor
you had while back there on the summit.
On the summit back there you had wile
and lived life in the grandest of style
but those you would deceive
had a trick up their sleeve
now you're stuck behind bars with no file.
If you're stuck tending bar, get a file
to save all the info; with guile
you could blackmail some blokes
whose acts without cloaks
could build up your stock for awhile.
To build up your stock in a stocking
is really and frightfully shocking!
Take ‘em out of the closet
and make a deposit
down south where flamingos are flocking.
If you build up your stock for a while
then let Wall Street make you a big pile
you must first sell it short
before they ever start
then you'll win either way and just smile.
if you win any way, with big smile
invest your dodgy dosh in brick pile
if that way was not straight
feds will engage indebate
you're stuck, they'll catch up after a while

If you slip on ketchup in the aisle
just remember that you're not on trial.
Simply wipe off your feet
so you can go tweet
your friends while you rest for awhile.
you're friends, as you rest for awhile
then at poker you trounce with a prile
then he is bleating
that you are cheating
and you pocket the pot with a smile


When ya pack up yer pot with a smile,
it's much better ta rest fer a while
'cause it really matters
that ye're gettin' fatter;
might lose all yer chance ta have style.
There’s style when yer smoking yer pot?
Be discreet so they can’t say, “Yer caught.”
When it’s back to the slammer
don’t bother to yammer
cuz ya know it’s all useless – fer naught.
If ye're thrown in the slammer, ye're naughty,
but lucky that you've got a potty
to sit in yer cell
so you can go well
when ever ya need ta do squatty.
In Poland, some people are squatty
but most have a bagful of zloty.
In Holland, the holes
are full of short poles
who appear slightly overly haughty!
If you're haughty, you give folks a slight
and never consider polite
a thing to be had;
you think you're not bad,
but in time you will fall from your height.
You will fall from your height in time but
it won't be in your palace. A hut
filled with shameful charades
and the endless parades
of the could-have-been's filling your gut
When filling your gut with cooked beans
You shouldn’t wear light-colored jeans.
Beans will turn into air
anytime, anywhere
so stand clear, if you nose what I means!
If your nose has the means, it will smell
out answers that no one can tell
your intuitive mind
if you are the kind
who doesn't wear pants, 'cause they fell.
A fella who doesn't wear pants
had best not sit down among ants.
Those hard-working creatures
will discover some features
to make him start yodeling chants.
By chance, if ye're yodelin' tunes
with friends o' the kind that just croons
it might be so disturbin'
ye're thrown to the curbin'
by bypasser hummin' baboons.
If baboons pass you by with a hum
while you lie by the curb like a bum
do not think it absurd
when they don't sing a word
or repeat what they've heard, they're too dumb.
They’re too dumb so they run in a herd;
how they yodel is truly absurd.
Living high in the Alps
has effected their scalps
and beneath it’s all totally sturred.
It's all totally stirred and beneath,
is a maw of protuberant teeth
which he uses to tear
'till there's nothing left there
like a bomb in a bull might bequeath.

You're bequeathed Toro filled with a bomb?
That could make anyone lose aplomb!
You should call in the squad
lest it blow up the quad
where you sleep every night like a bum.
A bum knight likes to sleep everywhere…
castle keeps will not always be there
so he doffs his chain mail,
armor hangs on a nail,
but his long johns stay buttoned. I swear!
Long John and his sidekick Short Mort
hit the tavern for one little snort.
When they had three or four
there's no need to keep score,
drank two pints instead of one quart.
When he punted the football in court
there were four guards who swarmed him to thwart
any further display
of his gridiron horseplay...
and the judge would determine his tort.
Drinking pints by the quart in a bar
or long swigs of good moon from a jar
will your vision impair
even though you might swear
that was once a cute gal'in the car.
If you find a cute gal you would court
it is best to find how you can thwart
some stubborn old lust
for her gentle bust
or some judge may determine your tort!
Some judge may determine your fate
and make you a guest of the state.
No taxes to pay,
no work and all play,
you may even be someone’s blind date.
If you're planning on dating the blind
it is wise to be gentle and kind
when you're speaking to her
so that she won't demur
but be glad you're the one she could find.
You’re the one she could find but be glad
it might have been much worse, even bad.
Two o’clock, it was late
still you both had no date
and blind drunk, you’re the best to be had.
Blind drunk you may not be your best
as many a man will attest.
You wind up getting married
or possibly berried
and life can get really up-messed!
I like berries before they ferment
and there's no use to overpresent
them with whipped cream and such
but it is not too much
to add some betimes; I'm content.
Add some bedtimes and I am content
for by four p.m. I have done spent
all the energy gained
when the moon and stars reigned.
Rested but don't know where the rest went.
I was rescued, but where the rest went
I'm not sure, 'cause asleep in the tent
I was suddenly woke
when the huge tent pole broke
and I slogged out through new, wet cement!
I slogged through wet cement but I knew
something had gone awry. I construe
that the construction chaps
who were reading plat maps
had no concrete idea what to do.
No idea what to do with concrete?
You put it on some fella’s feet,
then you take a short trip
in a boat where you flip
the dude overboard – ain’t that neat?
That ain't neat! Overboarding a dude
in shoes made of concrete is quite rude.
If you wish his demise
shoot him between the eyes;
give the fish a head start with their food.
Go ahead; give Ms Fish a new face.
She can powder her nose anyplace
before taking a swim,
bright and shiny, all trim,
supposing there’ll be an arms race.
An arms race by Ms. Fish is absurd
unless strange evolution occurred
where squid or octopi
bred with fish; then, Oh My!
Sharks might stroll arm in arm in a herd.
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