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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing
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In your leftover living room chairs
bought at Goodwill with your working shares
you can rest every night
after your daily fight
to build out and expand the upstairs.
To build out and expand the upstairs
he bought lots of free weights and some spares
to make his chest look buff
but it wasn’t enough
because with his shirt on, no one cares.
When I keep my shirt on, no one stares
at me like I am pregnant or shares
observations about
how I'm pudgy or stout;
if I keep to myself, no one cares.
No one cares if I keep to myself
for I have unread books on the shelf
which I use to increase
some small measure of peace
when grandkids wish to squeal treble-clef.
While my grandkids are squealing in shrill
I've escaped to my man-cave at will
with some limited peace
where each nephew or niece
from the West Coast cannot foot the bill.
From the West Coast they bill by the foot
and will tax you until you’re kaput
then it gets graver still
when your ken pay the bill
unless you rest in jars full of soot.
If your bod's now a wee jar of ash
it's because you would not leave the bash
where you got far too drunk
ending up in the trunk
of that stupid un-roadworthy Nash.
If that stupid un-read worthy Nash
hadn’t made such a big pile of cash
writing Limerick verse
elongated and terse
would we still pen small jokes that abash?
Good old Ogden was sure to abash
with a subtlety worth any cash
that a list'ner might share
while some others just stare
as he turns hum'rous words into hash.
frozen screen
He turned humorous words into cash
as he lectured about the car crash
to his peers who attend
and increase his stipend
osteopathic surgeon’s huge cache.
Hugh Cache, osteopathic surgeon
went out fishing an got a huge sturgeon
said he'd mount it to brag
to his patients and snag
many more, so his practice will burgeon.
So his practice will burgeon some more
until patients line up out the door
of his small waiting room
but that could be his doom;
his work hours are just ten to four.
If your work hours are just ten to four
you should post it upon your front door
and explain that today
is the one when you pay
'cause the others you're closed to the poor.
Because others are closed to the poor,
they now open free clinics galore
and the care they receive
makes the Democrats grieve
for Obama-care’s soon out the door.
Since Obama is now out the door
the White House is clean from the floor
to the walls for the new
President no one knew
would be there, nor what now is in store.
Wood bees would not be there in the store,
that is what apiaries are for
so when getting a hive
make sure queens are alive
and you’ll be honey-less never more.
If you'd be honey-less nevermore
do not throw your sweet wife out the door
'cause you never will find
anyone so refined
as that woman you've come to adore.
If that woman you’ve come to adore
was your prize with one knee on the floor
then remember that vow
and you’ll make it somehow
to build memories you can explore.
Building mammaries you can explore
is the doctor who moved in next door;
after meeting your wife
said he'd light up your life,
guaranteeing that you'd never snore.
Guaranteeing that you’ll never score
could be something you want to explore
for your wife may not be
looking good presently;
change comes with plastic surgeons next door.
Plastic surgeon next door wants some change
for a twenty, which you can arrange,
but when you give him bills
he'd expected some pills...
much confusion in verbal exchange!
If those verbal exchanges confused
and you stand around looking bemused
turn up that hearing aid
so the sounds that are made
will inform you that she has refused.
If he says he refuses to go
let him keep leaking gas just to show
that you'll stand anything
that his crudeness may bring
though you'd rather he leave your chateau.
If he leaves your chateau with some help
from your foot and he’s starting to yelp
let him know that you care
but you don’t wish to share
your small house and please watch that first step!
If he watches his step while in thirst
it's not likely that he'll be the first
to be drunk as a skunk
and end up on a bunk
of the jail house with neighborhood's worst.
If the neighborhood’s worst are in jail
and they don’t have enough to make bail
then Obama may pardon
by calling the warden
to let them all out and raise hell.
If they let them all out to raise hell
and the neighborhood's life is pell-mell
send Obama your thanks
with some edited blanks
so you won't be a jailed ne'er-do-well.
When the ne’er-do-wells jailed all got riled
folks at ACLU freed and smiled
but when school-children prayed
that they’d make a good grade
they were sued by those folks and reviled.
When the folks who got sued lost their cases
the judge made the kids run the bases
while the guy who's at bat
sits and prays on his prat
that tonight he can visit Teresa's
If he visits Teresa tonight
he might get in one hell of a fight
‘cause her husband came home
from his visit to Rome
where the Pope said she’d cheated for spite.
If she's cheated for spite, then the Pope
must have said to confess, or no hope
would be given to her
and her priest will concur
that her life hangs by thread from a rope.
If she hangs from a rope by a thread
she is probably already dead
and Teresa’s poor mate
asks if priests expiate
suicide and reach Heaven instead...
If your sewer side reaches the sky
there is something that's greatly awry
because poop runs downhill
and such height surely will
cause a backup that all will decry.
Will you cry if they backup because
of your texting at lights when you pause
or do you really care
when you’ve something to share
even though you are breaking some laws.
If you're breaking the law when you drive
texting messages ere you arrive
at a place you could stop,
have a place you can plop
down your phone when the cop shows up live.
Put down phones! Do you think cops are blind?
When the Highway Patrol’s right behind
with a ticket in hand
that may cost you a grand.
Did “Can you hear me now?” cross your mind?

If your mind is so crossed you can't hear
when a clearly marked car's roaring near
then you should never drive
with that phone; don't contrive
lame excuses, like "was drinking beer!"
An excuse when you like drinking beer
is that hard liquor doesn’t come near
to the buzz from some stout;
you’ll just drink and pass out
like at home when you swig everclear.
If you swing at your home when it's clear
there's no rain in the forecast you hear
then you should have checked out
local weather; there's doubt
that the sunshine will ever appear.
That the sunshine will ever appear
is a truism which we hold dear
for if it didn’t rise
well, then everyone dies
and the world will have nothing to fear.
If the world would have nothing to fear
then they must get their hearts back in gear
for the Son will return
for all those who'd not spurn
what He's done... and to draw up the rear.
If you draw up the rear when He’s done
then it’s time judgment day has begun
where the last will be first;
you were blessed and not cursed
when baptized emulating the Son.
If you are emulating the Son
you will probably not speak in pun
'cause his serious mind
would not be so defined
to confuse us to feel we're undone.
If you’re feeling undone or confused
and your who, what and where are abused;
dizziness fills your feet
and you’ve mussed up the street
then you’re probably just over-boozed.
Over-boozed is what I've never been
though I've been manic once and again,
but I dare not go back
lest I totally crack
and end up in a back-woods trash bin.
In the back-woods trash bins are a hole
very deep and too large for a mole
where most things can be tossed
but you’ll never get lost
for its stench follows you on your stroll.
If your stench follows you on your stroll
then you hadn't cleaned up where your hole
had shot out awful stuff
where you stood in your buff;
you'd not paid well that old clean-up troll!
If you’re cleaning up with an old troll
I would say your ablutions are droll
if an old doll competes
with some nice downy sheets
that will flush down your white porcelain bowl.
If you're flushing a doll down your bowl
then it's likely you'll soon play the role
of a flummoxed old plumber,
and it's really a bummer,
'cause the thing's stuck half-way down the hole.
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