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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
saore
The Three of Us


She was a paralytic relapse,
a succession of fixed images
completed her figure.
I am surprised I can’t remember
how quickly she walked with her crutches
among the magnolias, showing off
the doll smile polite children
carefully rehearse to use on special occasions.
My memory of her was set like a picture
from my photo album; my aunt
flat and wearing furs and white gloves
on Hollywood Beach in Chicago.

I remember her sitting by the lifeguard
weeping, or pretending to weep
so he would approach. She’d give
him miniature cacti in bloom.
She never asked what he was reading,
but when she’d look into his eyes
I could see her going through the pages
of the books he’d read. She’d soak in
every one of the images, poked
her crutches at the ones that were sad

and laughed, wanting to give them a new
perspective. Then she’d lick the steel
legs of the park bench and hide
imitating poodles and canaries.
It didn’t mean anything to me,
she was sharing quality time.

I also remember her alone
on the beach. My eyes
alternating between the book
and her long-shiny-black-hair.
S/he/ I was always different,
it depended on the angle
of the light.
merle
Hello Sergio -

I tried to follow this one but became utterly confused when I reached the point of licking the steel legs of the park bench. I may just lack the insight to understand but will come back out of curiosity to see if someone else can.

Robin
saore
the poem is about a transgender child Robin. Thank you for stopping by Robin.

Sergio
ohsteve
Sergio, Again I am impressed with the way you write, the way you seem to capture an image and share it obliquely, the licking of the bench part through me off also, it didn't want to fit in my mind. I think you could have just used 'We' instead of 'S/he/I'. I really do like your perspective angle on things, it is refreshing and I wish I could figure out how to capture it and incorporate it into my own somewhat.

Take care
Steve
saore
Thank you Steve, I am still thinking about the last poem you wrote. You have no idea how much I want to write for children, short stories, poems. Hopefully someday I might be able to take a workshop on this kind of writing.

The "licking" .... hahahaha I get weird at times, but I think life itself gets pretty strange at times. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be a transgender child and be in school. Or go out with the family, be ridiculed in front of them when they are participating in family life, but I know it happens. Children tend to retrieve within themselves when things like that happen, and very strange things happen to them emotionally, emotions they are not able to put into words, not yet, so it is difficult for them to let out some steam. I guess I was trying to show the effect of unhealthy attention. Thank you Steve.

Sergio
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