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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing _ Quatre-par-Huit (Four-by-Eight) Octa-Quad
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 1 06, 15:19
Quatre-par-Huit (for those who enjoy tetrameter) – created Jan 01 2006 by Lorraine M Kanter
In the tradition of the Trois-par-Huit poetic form I created last December, I’ll call this variation: Quatre-par-Huit
This 'Four by Eight’ or ‘Octa-Quad’ has similar rules as that of the Trois-par-Huit in that it is a poem containing 8 lines, displayed visually with three stanzas of either tercet, tercet, couplet (3, 3, 2) OR tercet, couplet, tercet (3, 2, 3) and looks best when center aligned as follows;
1. The title is also the final line.
The line length requirements:
Line 1 ~ 4 syllables
Line 2 ~ 8 syllables
Line 3 ~ 12 syllables
Line 4 ~ 16 syllables
Line 5 ~ 16 syllables
Line 6 ~ 12 syllables
Line 7 ~ 8 syllables
Line 8 ~ 4 syllables (is the title and summarizes the meaning of the poem)
The rhyme scheme requirements:
Line 1. A
Line 2. A
Line 3. B
Line 4. B
Line 5. B
Line 6. C
Line 7. C
Line 8. C
Tetrameter
makes this form all the more sweeter
like it’s sister, the Trois-par-Huit, this eight line verse
begins with four, the ovation at sixteen; each line will traverse
two tercets and one couplet: with a mid-point turn back to disperse
in a diamond-like shape and a triple-rhymed beat
it’s title once more will repeat…
Quatre-par-Huit
Why not give this a try?
~Cleo 
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 1 06, 22:51
Oh Lori, this is going to be perfect to write my opening poem "Out of the Dark" ... for the chapbook. I was trying to do it as a Octa-tri ... but I wanted the ending line to be 'Out of the dark' and so, it wouldn't work. I've tried to use other forms and although I have several in the process, none open what this gives me the guide to do. So I will be back in a bit with a first attempt at this exciting new form...
I am so excited! Hugs, Liz
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 2 06, 07:37
Hi Liz. 
I'm so glad you are excited about this form!
I look forward to your works in this new form!
Happy New Year! 
Lori
Posted by: jgdittier Jan 2 06, 13:44
Dear Cleo,
You Asked for IT!
Revised version
I write to form.
To please dear Cleo is my norm.
At least I'll try or die in my attempts to please.
But why must I ally myself with beats of eight!.I'm on my knees
For Cleo , dear, you're never near and virt'ous vows make you HIS squeeze.
I'll mention motivation. Must I make my mark?
My missing muse has muffled ev'ry spark.
It's not my lark!
It's Not My Lark!
I write to form.
To please dear Cleo is my norm.
At least I'll try or die in my attempts to please.
But why should I ally myself with beats of eight? A tease!
For Cleo dear, you're never near and vows make you HIS squeeze!
My motivation's missing! Must I make my mark?*
My missing muse has muffled ev'ry spark.
It's not my lark!
* my MOTiVAtion's MISSing. MUST i MAKE my MARK?
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 2 06, 19:43
We're born from light,
that inspirits flesh to take flight
into worlds of subconscious awareness; we yearn.
Each moment spent experiencing, dims this kindling, still we learn
till our mass is but an empty shell of shadows. Can we return
to purity--and clear this nebulously stark
state of soul? I'll follow God's spark
out of the dark!
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 2 06, 22:58
I heard your song
on the radio. It's been so long
since that night we danced by moonlight, whispering the tune
each breath a sigh against my cheek, like the winds waltzing during June.
The stars our witness, lyrics our vows...yet it ended much too soon.
To be reminded of our love and wonder why,
the music makes me want to cry...
because you died.
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 3 06, 06:37
You Asked for IT!
It's Not My Lark!
To please dear Cleo is my norm.
At least I'll try or die in my attempts to please.
But why should I ally myself with beats of eight? A tease!
For Cleo dear, you're never near and vows make you HIS squeeze!
My motivation's missing! Must I make my mark?*
My missing muse has muffled ev'ry spark.
It's not my lark!
* my MOTiVAtion's MISSing. MUST i MAKE my MARK?
Hi Ron. 
A wonderful first attempt! :pharoah2 Good Job!
I've just got two teensy nits for you here in L4 and L5:
But why should I ally myself with beats of eight? {You're such} a tease!
For Cleo dear, you're never near and vows {that dance} make you HIS squeeze!
You just need to add two more syllables to each, as these lines require 16 beats. I've made a suggestion to assist, but PLEASE DO come back Ron - I'd love to see another response.
Cheers!
Lori 
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 3 06, 06:39
Hi Liz.
I'll be back soon (off to battle the snow and sleet storm) and get to work.
Stay tuned!
Cleo
Posted by: jgdittier Jan 3 06, 07:58
Dear Cleo,
It's plain difficult writing verse when one must count all the way to eight! I had it laid out OK but went wrong as the words didn't stay aligned with the dashes.
Now Cleo, even poetic license doesn't allow me to call you a tease and since I must add a foot next to "vows", I've fallen back on
alliteration.
I wonder if I could use this form as a base for something serious.
Cheers, Ron jgd
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 3 06, 16:36
Hi Ron,
Although I think you offered this as a humorous example, I think you've done quite well. If you wouldn't mind, I might have a little dance with it! 
I write to form.
To please dear Cleo is my norm.
At least I'll try or die in my attempts to please.
But why should I ally myself with beats of eight? A tease!
For Cleo dear, you're never near and vows make you HIS squeeze!
My motivation's missing! Must I make my mark?*
My missing muse has muffled ev'ry spark.
It's not my lark!
I like the contrast of L1, L8 The way they both state a fact, and allows the body of the poem to draw the ideas of poetry and skill, which show the work and efforts that go into form. And then, the final line ... "It's not my lark!" just tops it off like a cherry on a Hot Fudge Sundae... Yummm.
The reference to Cleo, (when the reader is familliar with MM and Lori's astonishing work and efforts to benefit her members with knowledge and learning material so we can learn and develope in form,) shows this reader that you consider others when writing your poetry.
I think your final 3 lines are the most powerful. A few tweaks within L3,4 and 5--could flesh this out as for meaning. I was left a little confused! But then again, I live in a confused state (that would be Florida) LOL
Hugs, Liz
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 3 06, 17:59
So Untimely
Although I knew
a long time coming...(so did you)
we hadn't very much time left to share, before
you passed away. It still shocks me every time I walk-in the door
to find those shadows of you, and the memories that would be no more.
Since, I've been merely existing, life's been lonely
and why does dying have to be
so untimely
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 3 06, 19:12
We're born from light,
that inspirits flesh to take flight
into worlds of subconscious awareness; we yearn.
Each moment spent experiencing, dims this kindling, still we learn
till our mass is but an empty shell of shadows. Can we return
to purity--and clear this nebulously stark
state of soul? I'll follow God's spark
out of the dark!
Hi Liz.
I am impressed with your first Octa-Quad (as I am with Ron's too)! :dance:
This will make a wonderful poem in your chapbook!
If I may:
that inspirits flesh to take flight
into worlds of subconscious awareness; we yearn.
I like the opening, tells us someting is about to 'emerge' - great contrast with your title. I LOVE L2 and inspirits is a great word! Subtle alliteration there adds to the appeal too! I also like how you've taken our yearnings for survival and tapped the sub-conscious too. A unique approach Liz. :cloud9:
till our mass is but an empty shell of shadows. Can we return
Dims the sub-cons. level? I'm just trying to grasp the word 'experiencing' in this context? As we 'learn through experience'?
Can we return to purity--and clear this nebulously stark state of soul?
Well done! This is very impactful Liz!
I'll be back again,,,,,
Lori
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 3 06, 19:21
It's plain difficult writing verse when one must count all the way to eight! I had it laid out OK but went wrong as the words didn't stay aligned with the dashes.
Now Cleo, even poetic license doesn't allow me to call you a tease and since I must add a foot next to "vows", I've fallen back on
alliteration.
I wonder if I could use this form as a base for something serious.
Cheers, Ron jgd
Ron!But I so like tetrameter! I thought you did too? :wizard:
Now now, I mut show you how to use our 'align' feature then.
Just type the poem all left justified (default of forum). Then Highlight the whole poem - go up to the iB code buttons above and select the align pull down arrow. Chose center...
You can call me a tease... :wizard2: Yes, I admire the allteration used throughout your poem, it really adds dimension... :cloud9:
Absolutely - write away - serious, you?
I'm all ears and eyes! 
Can't wait for the next one!
~Cleo :ballet:
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 3 06, 19:25
I heard your song
on the radio. It's been so long
since that night we danced by moonlight, whispering the tune
each breath a sigh against my cheek, like the winds waltzing during June.
The stars our witness, lyrics our vows...yet it ended much too soon.
To be reminded of our love and wonder why,
the music makes me want to cry...
because you died.
Oh my Liz.
This is so very deep. Such a lovely, dramatic piece - gets me to the heart's core just reading it aloud. WOW! :sun:
Sad and poignant! I'm glad to have read such intense feelings.
I'm in awe.
BIG HUGS
Lori
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 3 06, 19:28
So Untimely
Although I knew
a long time coming...(so did you)
we hadn't very much time left to share, before
you passed away. It still shocks me every time I walk-in the door
to find those shadows of you, and the memories that would be no more.
Since, I've been merely existing, life's been lonely
and why does dying have to be
so untimely
Oh my Liz. 
Such a tragic piece - the feelings even more intense in this one - a very impactful follow-up to your other one. Very complimentary - the story unfolded, so sad. :(
Each word is so carefully crafted and has its own meanings - very touching Liz -
You've moved me to tears... I can feel the pain in your words
HUGS
Lori 
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 3 06, 20:56
We're born from light,
that inspirits flesh to take flight
into worlds of subconscious awareness; we yearn.
Each moment spent experiencing, dims this kindling, still we learn
till our mass is but an empty shell of shadows. Can we return
to purity--and clear this nebulously stark
state of soul? I'll follow God's spark
out of the dark!
Hi Liz.
I am impressed with your first Octa-Quad (as I am with Ron's too)!
This will make a wonderful poem in your chapbook!
If I may:
that inspirits flesh to take flight
into worlds of subconscious awareness; we yearn.
I like the opening, tells us someting is about to 'emerge' - great contrast with your title. I LOVE L2 and inspirits is a great word! Subtle alliteration there adds to the appeal too! I also like how you've taken our yearnings for survival and tapped the sub-conscious too. A unique approach Liz.
till our mass is but an empty shell of shadows. Can we return
Dims the sub-cons. level? I'm just trying to grasp the word 'experiencing' in this context? As we 'learn through experience'?
Can we return to purity--and clear this nebulously stark state of soul?
Well done! This is very impactful Liz!
I'll be back again,,,,,
Lori
Hi Lori,
Your newest creation has touched on some sleeping muse of my...And I thank you for this. I like the outcome of Out of the Dark and I agree, it will be an excellent opening poem for the Chapbook.
The chapbook idea, and atlas, the poems intention is...
We are born filled with a brilliant light that feeds our soul. It is full of innocence, warmth, compassion and connects us to our individual subconscious awareness of our journey of the lives we are given. We enter into this life with the purpose of learning and growing, so either we can go forward or as others might believe, become one with the universe and earn our way into heaven. I personally believe that we are energy, our souls are what 'inspirits' (yes, I was glad to use it as it fit the meaning and the sound quality I was hoping for) our bodies.
However, as we 'experience' or are exposed to lifes lessons, our 'flame' that brilliant light that we are born from, slowly dwindles away...perhaps... that "GOODNESS" and naivity we feel is slowly lost...sort of stripped from our innerselves and it leads us into a dark place. Some remain in this dark place, or misplaced state of spirit for as long as it takes for each of us to come to terms with what we need to learn or make change within our selves or to discover. Sometimes, a bad place brings about much needed change to lead the person into a more adaptable way of living... (example; someone who is too much of a giver and doesn't take care of themselves, might often experience hurt and be taken for granted over and over until they learn when to say no or to pick and choose what they give of themselves what they do for others) Sometimes, we go through our lives not really knowing what it is that 'we' ourselves truly like or dislike, what we want or don't want... we live believing our choices our are own until we are stripped away of all we know and during this 'DARK TIME" we begin to discover what it is that we really choose... anyway.
In the poem, the reference to experience is what life exposes us to. The kindling that dims is that fiery light inwhich we are born with (Perhaps our passions) and the subconscious awareness is the unseen forces that guide us through this life and the experiences until we learn...
The poem is to show that when we find ourselves in this darkness, we often feel what we knew is nolonger liveable, and yet, we don't see the road ahead and we are unsure of the foundation we presently stand on until, we let go and allow a spark to ignite and begin to lead us 'out of that dark' ...
Hmmm, keeping these intentions in mind, I wonder what changes I can make to offer this to my reader (in the reader's digest short form!) LOL ..
Thank you for the gracious compliments. It has been a long while since I wrote anything I felt had substance and your forms do that for me!
All my love, Liz
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 3 06, 21:01
I heard your song
on the radio. It's been so long
since that night we danced by moonlight, whispering the tune
each breath a sigh against my cheek, like the winds waltzing during June.
The stars our witness, lyrics our vows...yet it ended much too soon.
To be reminded of our love and wonder why,
the music makes me want to cry...
because you died.
Oh my Liz.
This is so very deep. Such a lovely, dramatic piece - gets me to the heart's core just reading it aloud. WOW!
Sad and poignant! I'm glad to have read such intense feelings.
I'm in awe.
BIG HUGS
Lori
Hi Again Lori,
Again it is your new form that has tapped into my recesses of my heart...
This too, needs a little tweaking, but I am excited to see some of the poetry coming out for the chapbook. These three will be included. Ironically, I didn't see the linkage to "Because You Died" and "So Untimely" But your idea is perfect and I can already see it's placement in the manuscript. Great thinking.
Hugs, Liz
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 3 06, 21:07
This is the greatest compliment any poet can receive and I thank you for it. And again, thank you for the inspirational forms that seem to move my muse...
I will be working on several more... I hope to have the chapbook done by next week.
Hugs, Liz
Posted by: JustDaniel Jan 6 06, 09:34
... by your request, Lori...
For to follow
nouvelle forme, not sounding hollow
a novice first must have a thought to kick around
that has a value in and of itself, though it may ne’er astound
an unsuspecting reader with its worth; it needn’t be profound,
Writer plays with meanings, sounds… through cold and fever
‘til it’s done… and swears to leave ‘er
quatre à suivre
© MLee Dickens’son 05 Jan 2005
Posted by: JustDaniel Jan 6 06, 10:18
... and here's the first of the promised "four to follow":
As mem’ry fades
I find no need to play charades;
still I desire to leave some small impression here
when I am gone; no front-page picture will appear… some words austere
in Section D, a name placed alphabetically that few revere…
some day perhaps someone will find my poetry;
all I ask is that they call me
simply MLee
© MLee Dickens’son 06 Jan 2006
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 7 06, 18:00
Hi Daniel,
Both of your first attempts at this new form Lori has created shows great skill. I especially enjoyed the "Simply Mlee." it's wonderfully designed. The meaning had brought tears to my eyes. I especially loved the first 3 lines. They are the most profound sentiments I've come across in a long time. I bow in light of the admirable skill this is written with.
I look for more of these from you. I cannot find one word out of place...not a single beat or rhyme...this is purely perfect! :)
Hugs, Liz
Posted by: AMETHYST Jan 7 06, 20:50
In Inspiration of Daniels Simply Mlee...
My Legacy
My epitaph,
will never be an epigraph
of golden gems engraved in marble or in stone.
No cavalcade will celebrate, no mourners marching on their own;
no fame or fortune I'll receive, and my name will remain unknown.
But I'll be immortalized by my family
their love for me will surely be
my legacy.
Posted by: JustDaniel Feb 4 06, 11:02
Thank you for your previous words, Liz...
and I'm honored by your beautiful riposte and the tremendous sentiment that is has for the love of your family for you!
deLightingly, Daniel
... and Lori...
here's my second of my promised quatre à suivre:
some subtle way
hope’s scent renews, revives each day
… and often when I lose my bearings… grace appears
where whispered words were shouting Worthless Fool at too-receptive ears
or stowed consignment rots the very floor on which I fawn in fear
inside, the sun looms up with healing in his wings…
where there’s no window opening…
and heaven sings
© Daniel J Ricketts 04 Feb 2006
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 5 06, 10:07
Well done Liz and Daniel!
These really 
and ! 
~Cleo
Posted by: JustDaniel Feb 5 06, 11:37
Thank you, Lori...
and here's le tiers de quatre à suivre:
Don’t like to wait?
Delays and hurdles irritate?
It’s not enough to know His promises are true….
Awaken to dark difficulties placed along the path for you
to nurture patience in adventures you’ll swim through;
He’s building character, encouragement and hope
oft at the last knot on your rope.
Look up. Don’t grope.
© Daniel J Ricketts 05 Feb 2006
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Oct 31 06, 20:11
It’s smooth and rich,
quenching to the mind-reader’s niche.
Behold! This frothy concoction will let you hear
the innermost thoughts your party-going connections hold so dear
without the need for spoken words; this all natural home-brewed beer
is guaranteed to open up your mind, you’ll see;
non-verbal views you’ll find, run free.
Truth’s Prophesy.
Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 2006 Oct 29
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Nov 12 06, 20:10
Reflective times
jar the mind like salvation’s chimes
we neglect scurrying past gilded pails of hope.
It is said that we should give to those less fortunate: helps us cope
with life’s ever-changing dichotomy of scales, its ‘fortune scope’.
Let us cherish the wealth of generosity –
compose charity’s symphony;
a sacred plea.
Posted by: Larry Apr 13 15, 13:46
Time’s hands erase
all memories and then replace
them with strange dreams and wishes which were never true.
We may forget accomplishments in thoughts, through which we would imbue
by weaving these poetic lines, expressing sentiments anew.
Although they’re old, our repetition may reveal
words from the soul and hope you’ll feel
they help… or heal.
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 14 15, 20:38
Hi Larry, 
I am in love with your poem! I dud just have to turn on topic notifications for this thread so thanks for posting in the Trois par Huit thread.
Words from the soul both help and heal. 
Enjoyed the read,
~Cleo 
Posted by: Larry Apr 20 15, 14:33
Dani alone
in strange new places which condone
a level of barbarity and hate for those
who don’t comply with their beliefs. Replacing beauty to impose
their way of seeing things that differ from the prophet’s laws. They chose
conceptions which blaspheme the one they hold divine.
Mohammad left a life’s design;
each cherished line.
Written for Siren (Dani) on her return to the halls of MM.
Larry
Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 22 15, 23:49
Larry,
What a very poignant and lovely poem for Dani and everyone. 
Enjoyed this.
Lori
Posted by: JustDaniel Apr 24 15, 02:21
... and I add my supreme admiration... for BOTH of my great friends. Wonderful thoughts, Larry.
Posted by: Larry Apr 24 15, 15:06
Thank you both very much. It's the least I could have done for a long-lost long distance friend.
Larry
p.s. The initial post was in the "Introduce Yourself" forum when I noticed Dani had returned.
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