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> "Para" of Scott's Song from "Lady of the Lake", Using same meter and rhyme scheme
jgdittier
post Feb 17 05, 16:07
Post #1


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Real Name: Ron Jones
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Rest, O warrior, conflict's done.
   Endless be the sleep you're sleeping.
Dream no more of field and gun,
   Free from pain and free from weeping.
Here is respite, here is peace,  
   Loving hands are you caressing.
From war's horrors find release.
   Evils others are addressing.
Rest, O warrior, conflict's done.
Dream no more of field and gun.
Endless be the sleep you're sleeping,
Gone the pain and gone the weeping.

To see the original

http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/poem1821.html


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Ron Jones

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Guest_Nina_*
post Feb 17 05, 18:02
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Hi Ron

I have to say that I prefer your version to Sir Walter Scott's.  It is much less sentimental.  Yours seems to paint a much more realistic stark picture.

My favourite line has to be

Evils others are addressing.

Thanks for the read

Nina
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Feb 28 05, 17:55
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Referred By:Imhotep



Hi Ron!  :viking:

What a solid poem with an enlightening message! I enjoy these subject poems of yours, and this has an old word feel AND could be written about any era - my fav:
Rest, O warrior, conflict's done.
  Endless be the sleep you're sleeping.

I hope to try one of these soon. This sends a message to all the military too (makes us stop and think more)..

Well done - a tough message but worth thinking about!  :vic:


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JustDaniel
post Feb 28 05, 20:02
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Referred By:Lori



I'm just glad my time ain't over;
whether but tonight or more.
I still yearn for piping plover...
one more summer at the shore.

Excellent following of the original, Ron.  I'm pleased to be having you participate in gradually educating me, making me read excellent models.  I know I can do that without you, but the reality is, I just havent.  My difficulty in reading is no excuse for not having read this AT ALL... so thanks.

You represent the form very well, and your presentation, as Lori has said, is timeless.

deLightedly, Daniel  :sun:


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