Why, Night? Options

[Guest_blondie_*]

Why, Night?

Why, night,
must you entrap me
with your sickening hug
of coldness
as I cry?
Why, night,
do you hold me
in your ghastly grip
of loneliness?
Your touch has failed me,
holding no comfort.
Release me,
for I want you
no more.
I would rather grasp
his frigid hand
and wipe away
my own tears.

[Guest_codger_*]

Yes indeed--night can be foe as well as friend.
Nicely done.

Gerry/codger.

[Guest_blondie_*]

Dear Gerry,

Thanks so much for reading!

I appreciate your kind and uplifting comments! :)

~Amy~

[JLY]

At first glance, your title intrigued me , so when I read your piece it just seemed to fit.  I particularly enjoyed the following lines:


with your sickening hug
of coldness
as I cry?


in your ghastly grip
of loneliness?

Your descriptive phrases were somewhat chilling in an emotional vain.

[Guest_Zeus˛_*]

Amy,
great how you expressed being caught between a rock and hard place. Interesting metaphors. Gets the point across.
Larry

[Guest_blondie_*]

Hi Larry. :)

Thanks so much for your gracious comments.  I appreciate and am glad you enjoyed!

~Amy~

[Siren]

Amy,


WOW! This is impressive... I adore it... the starkness of emotion shines through clearly...

great write sweetie

Daniah

[Athena]

Ohhhhh Amy!  After too many deaths in my life I lived through so many night hauntings as this marvelously expressive poem portrays.  Those nights are no longer a part of my world, but I survived through many, many dastardly difficult loooonnnnnnnnnggg ones, steadfastly willing the dawn to find me.  And, they did ... each dawn whisper-kissed from God found me and bathed me with hope.

Wonderful poem, girl!

Dolly

[Guest_blondie_*]

Hi Daniah!

So glad you enjoyed this one.  :)  This was one of those that appeared on paper in a matter of minutes.  

Thanks for your sweet comments!

~Amy~

[Guest_blondie_*]

Dear Dolly,

HI there!  Thanks so much for your kind remarks on my poem.  Yes, I have lived thru those long, desperate nights also.  Seems as if night haunts us so at times, we could swear it was breathing.  Those kind of nights make you especially thankful to see the next dawn.

Blessed are you to have made it thru those fretful nights thru God's grace.  

Thanks again for reading, friend.

~Amy~

[Guest_recherche_*]

hello blondie finally had time to read some poems ... glad i stumbled upon yours !!! :pharoah2

Why, Night?

Why, night,
must you entrap me
with your sickening hug
of coldness
as I cry?
Why, night,
do you hold me
in your ghastly grip
of loneliness?
Your touch has failed me,
holding no sought comfort.
Release me,
for I want you
no more.    ...........  ( these lines are simply sublime !!!! )  

me likes the verse ending here ....  brilliant , smiply brilliant !    

take care ... kevin

[JustDaniel]

Hey Amy!

Your lines are powerful, as evidenced by the comments you have received.

The ONLY line that jarred me was 'holding no sought comfort' in which it feels as though you're trying to say too much with "sought."  To me it seems both out of pace and unnecessary... but then that's just me.

Hold fast
unto that night
until the dawn,
nor don
a mourning robe
just yet;
that black knight's gone,
so now embrace
this present night.

The Light one will
spring forth
in dew time.

sharin' de Light, Daniel  

[Guest_blondie_*]

Kevin and Daniel,

Thanks, Kevin, for "bumping" this one back up!  I do appreciate your comments and so glad you enjoyed it.

Daniel...thanks for the input.  I agree...."sought" seems superfluous in this poem!  It has been disposed of!  :)  

~Amy~

[Cybele]

Hello Amy,  :sun:

Such a powerful poem, portaying incredibly strong emotions of disillusionment and yes, anger.

No nits here. You say this came easily, a good sign that it needs little or no adjustment.

I found this very emotive. Well done Amy a very good read  :read:

Love

Grace

[Guest_face_*]

great write, very expressive and powerful

[Guest_Tao_*]

Amy,

Dear, dear, still suffering, you sweet...that's three poems in a row, torches in the black field of lost love! 'Fraid even the answering machine's no use against the cold night (from prior conversation). :(

I read this a long, long time ago:

For if she will, she will; you can depend it.
But if she won't, she won't; so there's an end on it.

Substitute "he" for she and see if that helps?

Now back to poetry. I agree with Kevin, the "...no more." ending would be even more powerful. I sensed the emotions, the pain, raw but boiling up to those lines and "No More!" a final release that blows off the lid. Your first phrases had already run daggers into reader's hearts - the rest, they'll have to suffer in their imagination, alone! :)

Just my 2 cents, be well...ouch, I'm still hurting. Now where did that dagger go?

David

[Guest_blondie_*]

Grace, Face, and Tao....

Thanks, friends, for stopping to read this "oldie."  I wrote this soon after my divorce.....and those first few nights were LONG.  Always a blessing when others enjoy my lines....

Have a blessed weekend,

~Amy~

[Arnfinn]

Hi,


Nothing can create fear to the extream as darkness. Add a bit of depression and loneliness. Open your eyes wide and let you thoughts sink into the solitude of silence. Nothing...

Very stark.




Arnie