"We are human beings, not human doings." -Neale Donald Walsch

The Present

I questioned life at every turn,
compelled by acts and deeds to earn
a starring role
in mine. Control
tenaciously eluded me.

In time I found a stepping stone
beyond the ego's comfort zone.
It marks the way
from yesterday
into the realm of now, to be.

No longer tossed by whims of fate,
I join the will to co-create
a vibrant here
devoid of fear
that thrives on peace and unity.

The present is a lavish gift.
It comes with hands to gently sift
the wheat from chaff.
Surrender, laugh,
forgive, and live abundantly.

---------------------------------------------
Original version w/ x10 challenge words in bold.
---------------------------------------------

I questioned Life at every turn
and wondered if I'd ever earn
a starring role.
Then, bless my soul,
elucidation dawned on me.

Beyond the ego's comfort zone,
there lies a polished stepping stone
that quells disputes,
connecting roots
within the human family tree.

No longer tossed by whims of fate,
I claim the power to co-create
my twilight years,
dissolving fears
and memories. No do, just be.

Accept the Present as a gift
to free us from the past, to sift
the wheat from chaff.
Divide by half
and share this winning recipe.

Okay, I won't wait for someone else to say it -- those challenge words stuck out like sore thumbs in the original. I think I was trying too hard to not to let them lead me into a poem about Christmas. But at least the X10 shook something loose. The AABBC rhyme scheme was inspired (somewhat) by Leo & Steve's AABBA experiment. Revision posted.

Mary

Dear Mary,

I though the original challenge was pretty good, and if the words stuck out, the bold may have had quite a lot to do with it !

The revision is great ! Most unusual pattern, actuall very limerick-like. except the final line rhymes.

And some good solid thinking matter on display too.

This is exactly why I have promoted X10 type challenges for years - they can lead you to some amazing poems. Some poo-poo them as not being "muse"-driven. Rubbish, a set of words can set one off just like anything else.

Love
Alan

Love
Alan

Trubble is, I don't get out often. I'll need to look for the challenges. I get lost when there are TOO many forums to cruise around in.

I enjoy the challenges and do them on another site. Generally I try to do different interpretations with the same set, that is, different form styles including completely different thoughts. Even if that's not possible due to word choice, variety is interesting.

I did read the first posting and wasn't bothered by the words. It may be different if you are aware of them.

Yup, limerick was what I first thot.

Merlin

Thanks much, Alan. Pleased to meet you. Heh, those words weren't so emboldened when I first posted, but I just couldn't leave it alone. After revising before anyone commented, I could have just deleted the original and any reference to the X10, but I wanted to leave it as a reminder to self to exercise regularly.

Merlin, I found that weekly challenge forum here. I guess we're about due for another one, so I'll be watching, and hoping you'll show up for it.

Yes, this jaunty little rhyme scheme and metrical pattern would probably be better suited to frivolity, but sometimes "think pieces" (jgd's term) go down easier disguised as light.

Mary

Hi Mary -

I read the original poem and before I could respond, you revised it! I'm pleased you kept the first one posted. I enjoy watching the creative process unfold. Your revision is a smooth ride whereas the first one became a little preachy in the last stanza. Even the title, The Present, with its double meaning, is a fine example of how poetry should read. I feel I will learn a great deal from your writing.

Thanks very much for the kind words, Merle. I'm here to learn too.

Mary

Good Mary - I enjoyed your first version - but what a good revision!
Oh how I agree with your wish not to be lured into writing yet another a Christmas Poem. Too reminiscent of school days!
By this time of year, we are all, 'up to here' with the Feast of St Salesman. I don't care if we never see a Christmas Verse again!
It is great to find you here in the Challenge Forum - you are an expert at writing the unexpected - and very crafty, (in both meanings of the word) at burying those ten Challenge Words. I would prefer you not to give the game away by showing them to us in bold print - rather, let us have the pleasure of trying to spot them; and if you can sneak them past us without us mentally crying, 'Ah-Ha!'
Then you have won!
Leo

As always Mary, you amaze me. I think that you will never write anything that I don't like.
What more can I say?
Brent

Feast of St. Salesman You tickle me, Leo. Thanks for the vote of approval on this. I have unbolded those words the treasure hunt in perpetuity.

Brent! You darling man, I am so glad to see you here. C'mon and play now.

Mary

Dear Mary,
Again you've sparked my remaining gray cells!
I suppose if I'm not the only one here whose goal is a smile rather than a feeling of mastery and or elation...but I'm probably the one most so directed.
From my approach, I must see the 10 challenge words and will judge the piece by how adroitly they are embedded. True, if they are not IDed and I can't suspect which they are, I'd judge the piece as masterful but fail the smile test.
Perhaps we all would be pleased if there's a link to the words.
Cheers, Ron jgdittier

Thank you, Ron. Here's a link to the words for you: Clickety-Click

Super stuff Mary,
Nifty rhythm and word-work which is of course your trademark. The enjambment is S1 grated for me though the rest was delightful!

Hugz,
Wally

Hiya Mary,
I dunnit. Followed your link to the place, thereafter posted thus >>

Words of the Wizard.

Not bad for my first, iffen I say so, what?

Merlin