The In-box

In these days before Christmas, I’m certain you’ll see
An email that someone has sent cheerily.
Take a look in your litter box, there you might find
A note of this season; it’s one of a kind.
It speaks how politic’lly right we now are,
Embracing all peoples from near and afar,
Offending not one with the words we may say:
“Merry Christmas” is out, and so is “Good day.”
Our holiday season must now be like theirs
Or else they might suffer from obnoxious airs.
No bobbles, no bangles, and no Christmas trees
No Rudolph, no Santa, but let me keep breeze
Or else this dumb verse won’t rhyme, as it should
And many of you will say, “That is so nice!”

Dear Merlin,

Spot on. What I think upsets some other religions, which is why they want to force-convert us, is that we are sooooo weak in affirming and defending our beliefs. They simply cannot respect us with our wishy-washy we-might-offed-so-we-won't-do-it views.

They know the power that strong belief brings.

Love
Alan

Dear Merlin,

Symptoms of decay? They were all the same at some stage, look at the days when Christianity was tyrannical. The church(religion) is simply a form of governance with it's own agenda and rocked by the tides of management cycles. Sadly, we the mindless masses are always the victims of manipulation.
Tolerance is weakness - political correctness? bulshit!

Well said,

Wally

Right on Merlin!
I see that even here, on MM we have a 'Holiday Competition', when it is quite obviously a Christmas Competition. Oh yes - a few different religious celebrations are mentioned as a sop to Political Correctness - but surely everybody understands that, (keep your voice down when you say this.) this approaching holiday is Christmas; so why are we afraid to mention it? If anyone would like to start, for example, a Diwali comp - I expect we could accommodate them; and I, as a Christian, would be happy to enter a poem about it.
I do not wish to offend any-one's religious susceptibilities. I am delighted for those of different beliefs to celebrate their special days in whatever way is normal for them; just as long as they keep within the Law of the Land - Human Sacrifice would definitely be out!
But in return, I demand the right to celebrate my special day in my own way too.

"No bobbles, no bangles, and no Christmas trees
No Rudolph, no Santa"
I could live without them - they are nothing at all to do with Christmas. For me, Christmas is not about any of those things - it is about Jesus Christ.
But I am not a bigot. I am quite happy to enjoy the secular Christmas celebrations, with all those baubles, and fir trees and St Nickolas - I don't wish to ban them, because they are modern inventions - my Christmas Puds are made, and the Christmas Goose is on order; so we will celebrate the Birth of Christ in our own, simple way.

Enjoyed your poem - it deals with one of those small, but hugely irritating examples of self abasing P.C.
We must not allow the word, 'Christmas' to be wiped from our vocabulary.

From now on - just as our utility room has become our futility room - our letter box will, henceforth, be known as our, 'litter box' .

A fun poem - with sound reasoning.
Love, Leo

Dear Leo,

"our letter box will, henceforth, be known as our, 'litter box'."

I didn't know that is where kittens come from ?

I like your positive attitude. I am not religious in any sense except spiritual, but if a religion spends most of its time worrying about offending others, what is it there for ?

Love
Alan

Thank you for your comments Alan, Wally & Leo.
I'm sure we are all on the same wavelength. I'm not a believer in much, but I don't have any problems with others celebrating what they wish.
That said, I'm not sure it's even the common folk who object to our traditions. It may well be our learnéd politicians who make the rules.

A few emails keep circulating, lamenting the same fate. One goes as far as to suggest boycotting department stores that don't use the word "Christmas", but most of those are US and not necessarily across the border. It's a long drive from the west coast to shop Macy's in NY. I seem to sense a mini-revolution amongst these emails, in that people are fed up with being told not to say "Merry Christmas" for fear of offending. With cyberspeed, it's working.

But my posting was mostly for Mary, whom I hoped would give a thoreau critique! Ha! That's why I left the slant rhyme at the bottom.

Merlin

I'm here, Wiz, just getting off work. Delighted to see you here with your usual degree of wit and flourish. Thor and I will be back after a nap.

Mary

Merlin, I liked this very much, I really hate this PC crap, why not call a spade a spade, why does it have to be a shovel, or a garden tool? Go into a large Home improvement store and over to the garden implements and holler real loud 'Hey, look a hoe.' and then watch to see how many turn their heads and grin.
I like Alan am more spiritual than religious, I don't care what you believe in as long as you don't try to force it down my throat. Like those ones that knock on your door wearing black ties and look alike suits, carrying bibles and asking 'would you like to talk about God' I answer sure 'git your God**** asses off my property or I shoot you.' or sometimes something cruder, or even ask them in but not to mind the blood sacrifices and the satanic posters, that makes them blanch. LOL.
I feel the kind of choices I make in my life are my business, and I am the one that will live with the consequences. What others do in their life is their choice and they should live with their consequences.

Ha ha Eric!

I got an email yesterday that speaks of these things. Too funny!

Take a look in your litter box, there you might find - the meter is slightly off to me here (the litter box is calling , lol.
A note of this season; it’s one of a kind.

Our holiday season must now be like theirs
Or else they might suffer from obnoxious airs. ?? Not sure about 'airs' here? Is this a reference to 'stuffy'?

No bobbles, no bangles, and no Christmas trees
No Rudolph, no Santa, but let me keep breeze *good tie back to the stuffy 'airs'
Or else this dumb verse won’t rhyme, as it should
And many of you will say, “That is so nice!”

Awe shucks, you fooled us!
Enjoyed,
~Cleo

Many thanks to all replies!

This year, wish everybody a Merry Christmas, no matter where they come from. It's our tradition.

Obnoxious airs are "the vapors", but those aren't fashionable nowadays. Back in the day, I too, had them along with my cohorts, but that depended on the amount of beer we consumed. Best not to stand to close in those days!

If a little chuckle was had, tis good!

Merlin

Well, I slept too long. Now everyone has come and gone and you've done your thank you note, so you may not be hoping for further comment. I know it's an off-the-cuff thing done for fun, which succeeds as such, but I'm going to critique it as if I think you're serious about workshopping because I need the practice.

Even light verse deserves polish, Merlin. You've hit the nail on a topic that everyone can warm to, but missed a lot of opportunities to apply your word wizardry in a way that could make it truly memorable. Even if you are trying to underscore your flippancy leading up to the trees/breeze joke with other statements that scream novice (such as lackluster title, dull little marching words, bland rhymes, elision, first-letter capping, etc.), I would like to see some assurance that you really do know your stuff.

Obnoxious doesn't seem like quite the right word for meter or meaning. Petulant comes to mind as a suitable replacement. Lines 8 & 13 are both a beat short in the middle.

C'mon, let's see what you can do with this.

Mary

Thank you Mary,
and I hope you had a good sleep. It was probably my first job that I worked swing shift, 7 days of each 8 - 4, 4 - 12, 12 - 8 in rotation. It was a 28 day month with 4, 2, & 1 day off between shifts. The graveyard shift was always a killer.

To this posting, I know you know I know my stuff, if for no better reason than that I agree with everything in paragraph 2. As to a revision, dunno. Sometimes I have a muse, sometimes only amuse. I think this case was the latter. Even the obnoxious vapor was put there to make ya sit up and take note, so it won't come as too much of a surprise when it arrives!

Nonetheless, I'll take the nudge and might produce a more worthy thingy.

Thanks for coming back in.

Merlin