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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ Poetry Exhibition -> Plato's Pearls of Wisdom _ A Virgin's Worst Nightmare

Posted by: Jim AKA Rapid-Fire Oct 16 06, 01:35

They’d been boyfriend and girlfriend for some time,
she invited him over to her house to dine.
She wanted to introduce him to mom and dad,
but what she said next made him very glad.

“We’ll make love for our first time after our dinner date,”
the ideas running through his head, that this was great.
Before Friday night, he had to go get some condoms at the store,
this was something that he had never bought before.

He asked the pharmacist what would be the best to try,
there’s way too many choices from which to buy.
The pharmacist talked about an hour explaining them all,
but in the end told that young lad it was his call.

He asked the kid if he wanted a three pack, ten pack, or family pack,
he selected the family pack, if he got busy, he wouldn’t have to come back.
Friday night he rang the doorbell, answered by his girl as fast as she was able,
she told him to come in, everyone was already at the table.

When he met her mom and dad, he quickly volunteered to say the grace,
and that as a guest for the meal, thought it was his place.
He bowed his head, and began to pray,
after 3 minutes, he was still that way.

Finally after 10 minutes went by,
she was wondering about her guy.
Twenty minutes, and still no change,
she was thinking that something was strange.

She elbowed him a time or two,
whispered, “I have a question for you.
Are you that religious?, that is something I’d have never guessed,”
he replied, “yeah, just like finding out your dad was a pharmacist”

Posted by: AMETHYST Oct 16 06, 18:32

Hi Jim,

It's been a long time since I've read your work and this had me in stitches for at least 10 minutes or so. I laughed so hard it hurt. The enjoyment of reading a joke in R&M is always much more fun than to read it in its original state.

I should post my old one too....

You've done a great job zoning in on the power points of the joke and allowing them to stand out in the poem. I also felt you did well to avoid making the point from the young man entering the house to the moment when the dad's part in the tale is revealed, too long. The focus was perfect.

Good Work, look forward to more!

And great to see you here...
Best Wishes, Liz

(You also know me as Poetprncess at poetry911, maelstrom, the critical poet, Sonnet Central... if you didn't remember) ...

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Oct 16 06, 19:32

Jim!

My my, it's been a long time - so good to see you and your comedic style of poetry back at MM!

Now THIS is one I will be back to read again and again. Three pack or family pack (glad he took the family on, literally)

I nearly cracked up over the ending - her dad was the pharmacist - great one!

As you would say Jim: "Write On!"

Cheers
~Cleo

Posted by: Eisa Oct 16 06, 19:39

Hi Jim

This is the first time I have read any of your work and have to say you had me rofl.

I find it difficult to write humorous poetry well and feel you must have a special gift to make people laugh ... and in rhyme aswell.

I hope to see more of your work.

Snow

Posted by: Jim AKA Rapid-Fire Oct 17 06, 01:41

Thanks Princess Liz, Cleo, and Snow............

Glad you got a laugh out of this one.

Posted by: Blank_Canvas Dec 4 06, 13:53

Jim,
This was priceless ! I even shared it with my husband. I definitely will look for some more humor from you !
Marccia

Posted by: 4rum Oct 2 07, 10:28

Dear Jim;

Great story and great humor. You managed to keep it fresh and funny all the way through. I imagine parts of this 'coming of age' tale hold true for many who will read and remember. The mark of a great comic is a great punch line... yours is top notch.

Sam

Posted by: Lady Poet Oct 2 07, 13:46

I remember this joke from way back. But your R&M made it a delightfully witty and funny read. Thanks for the giggles! Good job!

Love Pami

Posted by: isis277 May 11 08, 16:48

i just love the humor and wit of this poem...rarely does any poetry make me laugh, especially those so intended...this was great...i look forward to reading more of your work

Isis

Posted by: beulahkilborn781 Dec 16 09, 01:05

Hi Jim!!
That was good one. I am new to this forum and poetry world. I started writing before few days and made one with the named topic "LOST IN THOUGHTS".
Thanks for sharing.

Posted by: Sekhmet Dec 16 09, 03:45

Help! - I am getting a strong feeling of Deja Vu - What on earth has happened? Why has a verse from 2006, plus all the comments it attracted, suddenly popped up for critique?
It's not a very good poem - and tells an old, old joke from my, (almost sixty years ago) teenage years - so why is it gracing this forum - again?
Sorry but this is, to put it mildly, rather dated.
Leo

Posted by: ohsteve Dec 16 09, 11:44

FYI Leo, this popped up because beulah replied to it is all, if anyone goes digging thru the archives and replies to an old post that post will show up. And yes this is an old old joke, I first saw it done as an illustrated comic in an underground comic, and i saw the punch line coming even then. Not to worry Leo, your mind is intact.

Steve