Hi Ruth... I have not critiqued a poem in months.. but here goes.
First, there are some spelling errors that need to be corrected.. I don't know if it's part of your 'style' or not, but errors in spelling do distract from the quality of the writing. Care enough about the poem to honor the words, that sort of thing: The lies and ungratefuldeeds that you weave are your sins. The heart that once fevered with passion has now turned to stone. whose heart? Your kiss no longer drunkens? not a word! me with desire or want of intamacy. how about intoxicates?, inebriates? besots? My womb is empty from the pain of your violations and it pleases me. You have bruised my soul and broken my spirit with wounds too deep to heal. I once thought of death by my own hands the only way to peace within. It is only by the grace of my God that I exist this day and for ever. If any man deserved to see his grave before his time it would be you.
This poem seethes with anger.. my main suggestion would be to make that 'seething' come forth more clearly, by tightening up the lines. See what small words can be eliminated, and still keep the meaning and the 'feel' you want in this poem. In other words, distill it... cut the 'chaff'...
example: The lies and ungratefuldeeds that you weave are your sins. The heart that once fevered with passion has now turned to stone.
You weave your sins with ingratitude and lies My heart, once passion-fevered, turns to stone
I also think that finding a way to shorten the lines, and perhaps put a stanza break or two, so that the ideas are more clearly set apart from one another.
The last three lines are very powerful, but I think they could be *more* powerful if the lines were condensed by tighter word choices, and fewer words.
gena Artemis
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