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Senryu, Japanese form: 5-7-5 or less |
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Oct 12 04, 04:41
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,578
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Senryu is a short form of poetry identical in construction to haiku: (three lines with 17 or fewer syllables with a cut after the first or second line forming two related snapshots of an experience of reality), but is generally about human foibles, while haiku references nature. Senryu need not include a kigo, or season word, like haiku (though it seems that much of modern English haiku tends toward senryu; that is, unlike traditional Japanese haiku, it may not necessarily adhere to the 5-7-5 syllable form which may be suitable in Japanese, but which tends to produce long or stilted language in English). A simple rule seems to be, Take a deep breath and read all three lines... cut and all. I'll offer a couple of examples of my own, however inadequate. Perhaps someone with greater stature would like to add greater insight to this thread. How I love thee with breadth, length, depth and height… but who counts the days?© MLee Dickens'son 11 Oct 2004feeling seventeen your heart pounds out senryu; you just can’t beat it© MLee Dickens'son 14 Feb 2004By the way, I understand that they're often with a bit of humor, so I don't think I'm desecrating the form if I wink a bit. sharin' a bit o' de Light, Daniel
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Posts in this topic
JustDaniel Senryu Oct 12 04, 04:41 Cybele Hi Daniel,
Thank you for kicking this off an... Oct 12 04, 16:22 JustDaniel Ah, I love your piece, Grace. Footprints ind... Oct 12 04, 16:42 Cybele Hello Daniel,
I thought you were paraphrasing Ch... Oct 12 04, 16:58 JustDaniel No wonder I was confused, Grace. You have quoted ... Oct 12 04, 21:10 Cybele Thank you Daniel,
Have been to Cleo's tile... Oct 13 04, 16:49 JustDaniel Should we put ours together in a Mondo in Cleo... Oct 14 04, 12:29 Cybele Hi Daniel,
Well I have read up on Mondo/Katauta... Oct 14 04, 16:33 JustDaniel QUOTE wearing white tutus
are the gray thistles da... Oct 15 04, 08:24 Cybele Hi Daniel,
QUOTE some reason o’er rhyme;
there... Oct 15 04, 11:19 JustDaniel what a pregnant piece! I could mean MANY... Oct 15 04, 11:33 Cybele Aah! Daniel,
QUOTE what a pregnant piece... Oct 15 04, 15:57 JustDaniel I hope my response wasn't too insensitive, my ... Oct 15 04, 16:56 Cybele Good Morning Daniel,
Oh! No, I wasn't at... Oct 16 04, 02:02 Cybele Hi Daniel,
QUOTE when he's serious
no one se... Oct 16 04, 02:05 JustDaniel I'm pleased that I had not offended, Grace... ... Oct 16 04, 02:43 Cybele Hi Daniel,
I seem to be pre-occupied with dogs... Oct 18 04, 04:07 JustDaniel touching piece, Grace!
Would you bite me if I... Oct 18 04, 05:37 Cybele Hello Daniel,
QUOTE touching piece, Grace... Oct 18 04, 06:25 JustDaniel I've now booked my trip
to my woodshed discipl... Oct 18 04, 08:02 Cybele My pleasure Daniel,
I had four sons and know the... Oct 19 04, 04:04 JustDaniel delightful image here, Grace...
Note, however tha... Oct 19 04, 05:03 Cybele Good to see you up and about Daniel,
I have bee... Oct 19 04, 05:35 JustDaniel de tension...
when your behind must stay put
for a... Oct 19 04, 05:45 Cybele QUOTE de tension...
when your behind must stay put... Oct 21 04, 03:49 JustDaniel Thanks, Grace... you know I couldn't resist th... Oct 21 04, 07:42 Cybele Okay my fiend, (no, not a typo! )
moonsh... Oct 22 04, 05:09 JustDaniel umm... uhhhh... I bet you weren't expecting t... Oct 22 04, 06:28 Cybele Hi Daniel :sun:
QUOTE frigid mourn in Nam;... Oct 22 04, 06:52 Eisa Hi daniel and Cybele
I have just noticed this sen... Oct 22 04, 07:24 Cybele Yipee, :dance: Snow's come... Oct 22 04, 11:19 JustDaniel wounds may disappear
with tender love’s oversight;... Oct 24 04, 22:23 Cybele [b]Good morning Daniel,
QUOTE wounds may disapp... Oct 25 04, 00:16 JustDaniel Thank you, my friend!
QUOTE blind beggar;... Oct 25 04, 02:18 Cybele Sorry Daniel,
I woke at 4.30am and couldn... Oct 25 04, 03:39 JustDaniel I KNEW there must have been something amiss, Grace... Oct 25 04, 06:31 Cybele Hello Daniel,
dazed by trazodone,
grey cheeks... Oct 25 04, 07:40 JustDaniel Thank you so much, Grace. Yes, it was the very mo... Oct 25 04, 08:14 Cybele Hello Daniel,
QUOTE donning Army greys
he stares... Oct 26 04, 12:40 JustDaniel <font color='#000000'>Thank you for ... Oct 26 04, 14:26 Eisa Hey Daniel and Grace
You are both very good at ... Oct 26 04, 17:29 JustDaniel Hey, Snow! Great to have you drop in to learn... Oct 26 04, 22:35 Cybele Good morning Daniel,
QUOTE alcoholic home;
d... Oct 27 04, 00:47 Cybele Why! good morning Eisa,
How lovely to ... Oct 27 04, 00:59 JustDaniel QUOTE our favourite walk;
long autumn shadows
but ... Oct 27 04, 05:21 Cybele Hello Daniel,
QUOTE Now that is a fascinating on... Oct 27 04, 08:15 JustDaniel I know, Grace. Just practicin' with my e... Oct 27 04, 08:43 Cybele Ha Ha Daniel,
QUOTE ... and did you not see th... Oct 27 04, 09:20 Cybele Here you are Daniel,
Have fun!
first frost... Oct 27 04, 09:29 JustDaniel QUOTE nuns after mass;
clustered together, heads b... Oct 27 04, 11:12 Eisa Hello there Daniel nd Grace
Your verses have me f... Oct 27 04, 18:58 JustDaniel So good to see you thinkin' and feelin' in... Oct 28 04, 01:55 Cybele Good Morning Eisa,
QUOTE my favourite walk:
... Oct 28 04, 02:37 JustDaniel Hey, y'all...
This is poor, but my mind is dr... Oct 28 04, 03:29 Cybele Hi Sleepy head
QUOTE clear Caribbean
on sea b... Oct 28 04, 03:43 JustDaniel did Jamaica cake
to send off your holiday?
belles ... Oct 28 04, 07:35 Cybele Hi Daniel,
Not off till 14th December!. This ... Oct 29 04, 03:37 JustDaniel QUOTE new neighbour
superglued to a power tool
buy... Oct 29 04, 05:31 Cybele Hi Daniel,
on house and garage
implant surrou... Oct 29 04, 09:04 JustDaniel Raceway tapes would be sounds from a race track: ... Oct 29 04, 14:49 Cybele Thanks for the explanation Daniel.
Happily this ... Oct 31 04, 02:44 JustDaniel ah, Grace... now you're shaming me with ... Oct 31 04, 05:19 Cybele Hello Daniel,
Hope you are feeling a little bri... Oct 31 04, 07:14 JustDaniel hmmm
Not sure that I fully understand this one, G... Nov 2 04, 11:00 Cybele Hello Daniel,
Ralph and I spent many wonderful ho... Nov 2 04, 17:16 JustDaniel Sounds like you had a wonderful time, Grace! Y... Nov 3 04, 08:59 Cybele Hello Daniel,
Thank you for the info on Jackie Gl... Nov 3 04, 17:36 JustDaniel Hmmm
Maybe there's a message there? ... Nov 5 04, 15:55 Cybele Good morning Daniel,
QUOTE brown stuff comin... Nov 17 04, 03:50 JustDaniel Hey, Grace...
I hope you'll forgive me for th... Nov 27 04, 11:31 Cybele Hi Daniel,
QUOTE some’re journeying…
yet leave gr... Nov 27 04, 17:28 JustDaniel <font color='#000000'>:cheer: Thanks... Nov 27 04, 22:24 Cybele Good morning Daniel,
unplanned daughter dear
wi... Nov 28 04, 03:32 JustDaniel QUOTE (Cybele @ Nov. 28 2004, 03:32)I too was... Dec 1 04, 09:56 Cybele Hello Daniel,
QUOTE I've read this sev... Dec 2 04, 05:06 Cybele Hi Daniel,
Here is the one you thought you had ... Dec 2 04, 05:13 JustDaniel Well, I do think you wrote something like it somew... Dec 3 04, 07:32 Cybele Hi Daniel,
Well, I don't know about you but I... Dec 3 04, 07:43 Cybele my son shines his shoes
on the back... Dec 3 04, 07:56 JustDaniel QUOTE (Cybele @ Dec. 03 2004, 07:56)my son sh... Dec 3 04, 08:11 Cybele Hi Daniel,
Still can't read that pale blue. C... Dec 3 04, 08:18 JustDaniel QUOTE (Cybele @ Dec. 03 2004, 08:18)the mo[u]... Dec 3 04, 09:06 JustDaniel wherever my face...
appears I'm dammed if I d... Dec 7 04, 18:08 Cybele Hello Daniel,
Yes, I was tempted to put that ... Dec 8 04, 02:30 Cybele Hello Daniel,
This is a revision. I originally po... Dec 8 04, 02:38 JustDaniel Greetings, dragonfly!
It's always refre... Dec 8 04, 11:52 Cybele Hello Daniel,
Goodness me! You musn't l... Dec 8 04, 12:16 JustDaniel learning's always fun
till someone pops your b... Dec 8 04, 12:28 Cybele bubbles rise above
hot air spouted by fools;
smile... Dec 8 04, 16:52 JustDaniel Thanks, Grace...
and it doesn't need to be a ... Dec 9 04, 03:07 Cybele Hi Daniel,
QUOTE men and rivers wind
through ... Dec 9 04, 04:29 JustDaniel QUOTE (Cybele @ Dec. 09 2004, 04:29)Mornin... Dec 9 04, 04:41 Cybele Hi Daniel.
yellow kite's long tail
waving... Dec 9 04, 05:00 JustDaniel I hope you'll forgive me for this one, Grace.
... Dec 9 04, 14:56 Toumai Hello, I'm following Cleo's suggestion for... Jan 6 05, 11:34 Jox Hi Fran
What a lovely burnt offering this is. A c... Jan 6 05, 13:00 Toumai Hi James,
Thank you for such kind encouragement. ... Jan 6 05, 14:12 Cybele Good morning Fran,
Just back from my holiday and ... Jan 7 05, 04:29 Cybele fairy woodland:
hoar-frosted cobweb,
Titania’s lac... Jan 7 05, 04:31 Toumai Welcome back from your holiday, Grace.
Thank y... Jan 7 05, 04:46
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