Sonnet San Couplet, Incomplete sonnet needing an ending Options

[jgdittier]

Here's a chance to make a case for either "form" of poetry...

The world of verse is like a slice of toast,
For verse and toast is like a pizza crust.
As verse, the toast or crust are meant to host
Poetic ploys which give the piece its thrust.
The toppings can be spread to bardly tastes
With ne'er a thought of riches making weight.
The joys of verse must go to heads, not waists,    TY-Fran
So pile those ploys upon your verser's plate!

To diet as a bard is order, "plain",
Disclaiming all enhancements once called norm.
Intend for toppings only pure disdain
And write, like prose, in fashion free of form.

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(in that 8 lines are given the R&Mer, only 4
the FVer and it's written in R&M, the only benefit
accrued to the FVer is freedom to write the couplet in FV)

[Guest_Zeus˛_*]

Ron,
forgive me for I know not what I write

Order not a sliced bagel with cream cheese
rather with lox, it will be to your gain.

Just a palatable thought that came to mind.

Larry

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Ron, what a topping poem!

I love this comparison. So a good novel has mastered the skilled art of baking French loaves, perhaps?

The world of verse is like a slice of toast,
For verse and toast is like a pizza crust.  --- verse and toast ARE like ?
As verse, the toast or crust are meant to host
Poetic ploys which give the piece its thrust.  --- lovely
The toppings can be spread to bardly tastes
With ne'er a thought of riches making weight.
The joys of verse must go to heads, not waistes,  --- wastes or waists?
So pile those ploys upon your verser's plate!

To diet as a bard is order, "plain",
Disclaiming all enhancements once called norm.
Intend for toppings only pure disdain
And write, like prose, in fashion free of form.

Ah, but what of the subtle yeast flavour, the honeycombe texture that melts on the tongue and the crisp crust disguising it's tender interior?

Shock  Now I'm hungry

Fran

[jgdittier]

Dear Fran,
It's true I can make a meal on French (I like Italian better) bread and cheese and wine to wash it down.
Next effort might have to be to compare rhyme to pepperoni and maybe metre to 'shrooms.
Where's the kitchen?

Dear Larry,
Lox vs cream cheese?

Cheers to all,     Ron   jgd

[Guest__*]

Dear Ron,

I can't resist a challenge :

The world of verse is like a slice of toast,
For verse and toast are like the pizza crust.
As verse, the toast or crust are meant to host
Poetic ploys which give the piece its thrust.
The toppings can be spread to bardly tastes
With ne'er a thought of riches making weight.
The joys of verse must go to heads, not waists,
So pile those ploys upon your verser's plate!

To diet as a bard is order, "plain",
Disclaiming all enhancements once called norm.
Intend for toppings only pure disdain
And write, like prose, in fashion free of form.

It matters not if it be cheese or chocolate :
So long as there be verse piled high on plate.

[Cleo_Serapis]

What a joy to read Ron!  :sun:

Here is an attempt at a closing couplet for you plus a few suggestions to ponder.

Well done!
~Cleo  :pharoah:
[delete] {add} (comment)

The world of verse is like a slice of toast,
For verse and toast [is] [are} like a pizza crust.
As verse, the toast or crust [are] {is} meant to host
Poetic ploys which give the piece its thrust.
The toppings can be spread to bardly tastes
With ne'er a thought of riches making weight.
The joys of verse must go to heads, not waists, (or wastes)
So pile those ploys upon your verser's plate!

To diet as a bard [is] {must} order, "plain",
Disclaiming all enhancements once called norm.
Intend for toppings only pure disdain
And write, like prose, in fashion free of form.

Enjoy the palette made by poet’s muse
and spread delightful words in writers’ news.

[Guest_Don_*]

I like Cleo's suggestions best.  

However, do not overlook
verse as toast is like pizza crust

verse or toast is like pizza crust

Don

PS: Sicker than a dog with modern witchcraft medicine.

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Ron.

I've just thought of another last line for you to ponder:

Enjoy the palette made by poet’s muse
and spread delightful words in colored hues.


An aside: Hello Don!  :wave:

Hope you're feeling better soon! Nothing worse than a cold/bug/flu in summer...  :alien:

[jgdittier]

Dear Alan,
Indeed you've met the challenge!
It was intended to be a fair opportunity for a friendly joust between the advocates of R&M and FV., but couldn't be.
Your closing couplet is masterful in providing one line of conciliation
"It matters not if it be cheese or chocolate"

and one line of unity
"So long as there be verse piled high on plate".

Sir, you've done both poetry and diplomacy, proud!
Nicely done,     Ron   jgd

Dear Cleo,
I do admit to torturous thinking to achieve a rhyme. Line two really should say that toast (FV) and pizza crust(R&M) are  both like verse
(poetry).
Toppings for R&M are cadence, endrhymes, alliteration, similies, inversions, etc.
Toppings for FV are elegance of message and expression.
I'm accepting your suggestions for lines 273, thank-you, but for 9, it should read by intent, "To diet as a bard is (to) order "plain".
I'm greatly impressed by your proposed closing couplet:
It wraps up the topic brilliantly
It reads normally.
It is positive.
It pleases everyone.
Nicely done!
Cheers,    Ron   jgd

[JustDaniel]

To diet as a bard is order, "plain",

Perhaps,

To diet as a bard's to order, "plain"  ?

I like Alan's suggestion in content, but the cadence needs some work, methinks.

... and I REALLY like the strides you've taken in diplomacy in sharing your struggle to appreciate free verse... and your growing appreciation of it!

deLightingly, Daniel

[Cleo_Serapis]

Dear Cleo,
I do admit to torturous thinking to achieve a rhyme. Line two really should say that toast (FV) and pizza crust(R&M) are  both like verse
(poetry).
Toppings for R&M are cadence, endrhymes, alliteration, similies, inversions, etc.
Toppings for FV are elegance of message and expression.
I'm accepting your suggestions for lines 273, thank-you, but for 9, it should read by intent, "To diet as a bard is (to) order "plain".
I'm greatly impressed by your proposed closing couplet:
It wraps up the topic brilliantly
It reads normally.
It is positive.
It pleases everyone.
Nicely done!
Cheers,    Ron   jgd

Cool!  :cool:

Thanks Ron - I'm glad you like some of my ideas.

Question: Which ending do you fancy? I've offered two:

Enjoy the palette made by poet’s muse
and spread delightful words in writers’ news.

AND

Enjoy the palette made by poet’s muse
and spread delightful words in colored hues.

Perhaps you'll assist/crit a sonnet for me (once I write one, still haven't ventures into the sonneteer's world just yet Ron  :detective:  :medusa:  :cali:

Cheers!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Guest_Cathy_*]

I'm hungry, must find the kitchen!  LOL

Lovely, delicious, full of appetizing imagery!

My tummy is growling!!  

I like Lori's second offer for an ending best!
Don't think I can "top" that!  *smiles*

Cathy

[jgdittier]

Dear Cleo,
I'll go for the hues.
Cheers,    Ron

[Cleo_Serapis]

Dear Cleo,
I'll go for the hues.
Cheers,    Ron

Enjoy the palette made by poet’s muse
and spread delightful words in colored hues.


Thanks Ron!  :hsdance:  :claps:

[JustDaniel]

[Guest_poeticpiers_*]

If lack of structure causes pain
be patient he may well reform

Hi Ron had to have a crack at this .Loved the originality of the metaphor
But poetry like cooking embraces many cultures and tastes.
I prefer strasight forwardness in both. simplicity without fancy dressings to hide the poor quality of the ingredients