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Lip-Smacking Delight |
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Nov 10 05, 06:45
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Centurion
Posts: 4,592
Joined: 31-October 03
From: New Jersey
Member No.: 39
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Larry Carr
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1st Revision: 11/11 PM
LIP-SMACKING DELIGHT
Tasty and refreshing as summer’s breeze, savoring quickly induces brain freeze. Thick and soothing as orange smoothie, relishing flavors makes me feel groovy.
Delicious and tempting as a beguiling beauty, devouring its core smacks oh so fruity.
Soft and sweet as freshly whipped cream, gorging calories goes to extreme.
Zesty and exhilarating as my lover’s smile, eating ice cream never goes out of style.
LIP-SMACKING DELIGHT
Tasty and refreshing as a summer’s breeze, savoring it quickly induces brain freeze. Thick and soothing as an orange smoothie, relishing its flavors makes me feel groovy.
Delicious and tempting as a beguiling beauty, devouring its core smacks oh so fruity.
Soft and sweet as freshly whipped cream, gorging its calories goes to the extreme.
Zesty and exhilarating as my lover’s smile, eating ice cream never goes out of style.
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Replies
(1 - 7)
Guest_Nina_*
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Nov 11 05, 13:55
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Guest
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Hi John
Oh how I wish I had a magnum ice cream in the fridge now. Will have to wait till I go shopping tomorrow.
I agree with Cathy's advice to lose it and its in the first two verses. I would also do the same in this verse.
Soft and sweet as freshly whipped cream, gorging {its} calories goes to {the} extreme
Thanks for the read
Nina
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Guest_Toumai_*
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Nov 15 05, 14:17
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Guest
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Hi John,
A very tasty treat! Gorging calories definitely extreme for this temptation. (Luckily I have just had dinner so I am not drooling on my keyboard, lol)
Fun and lighthearted - just wish we had the weather to do it service now.
Fran
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