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> MM's Selections for August Comp, Congratulations Wally for Third Place!
Cleo_Serapis
post Jul 6 13, 17:19
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep



Another nomination for the August IBPC: cheer.gif

Hi Lori,

I would like to nominate Daniel's poem A Door to Curiosity for IBPC. It can be found by clicking here. It's an amusing and deftly written piece about long past experiences, with which many may identify.

Cheers,
Syl***



A Door to Curiosity

Walking the halls of his high school last week,
something made his curiosity peak.
Daybreak peeked in from a place where he swore
he'd never noticed a doorway before!

Faintly a song had emerged from the mist
seeping out under the door... which was locked.
Nearly in shock, he looked 'round to enlist
help to gain entrance to where he had knocked.

No one was there, so he battered and kicked
'til he became so worn out, he sat down
right where he was, heaving hard; he was licked....
Suddenly out of the space came a clown

mocking the rube like Uriah the Heep.
Thoroughly humbled, I woke from my sleep.

© MLee Dickens'son 2013


This post has been edited by Cleo_Serapis: Sep 22 13, 19:43
Reason for edit: Revision posted


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Jul 21 13, 11:23
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Thank you very much, Sylvia. I gratefully accept your nomination.

It's presently being work-shopped, and I've posted my first Revision of it yesterday. I think in may be in its final stage now, or at least close. I'd appreciate your taking another look.

Others, of course, may visit using the link above provided.

deLighting in the opportunity, Daniel sun.gif


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Cleo_Serapis
post Jul 21 13, 12:49
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Referred By:Imhotep



Hi,

This is a must read war poem that moved me to nominate it for IBPC. It's telling descriptions and visual imagery are fabulous even though the subject is about war. You can read this poem by clicking here.

Enjoyed the read,
~Cleo

Flash in the Pan by Walter Schwimm

In wartime, lights in the night usually signify something bad is about to happen – somewhere!

Breaking the stillness; a bump in the night!
Is that the start of an Eighty-one’s flight?
Payload of chaos to no one knows where
till H.E. and shrapnel light up the air.

Bursting in splendour, bright star in the sky,
Icarus riding a thousand foot high.
Just for a minute she dazzles the eyes
then swinging in circles, gradually dies.

Lazy green fire-flies, starting out slow
floating through darkness – all in a row.
Lazy green fire-flies rapidly change
to green killer-hornets streaking up-range.

Flickers of lightning! (A storm's overdue?)
Katyusha's big daughter, the one-twenty-two
shrieks overhead like a flaming banshee;
the zone near her grounding you’d rather not be.

Lurking in shadow, as patient as Jobe,
mine waits a victim to press on its probe,
renting the soul with a blast out of hell;
a few have survived their story to tell.

Of battle aurora commanding the night,
nothing’s as heinous as one out of sight.
Tiny hot flash of a rifle well aimed
could modestly signal “Your life has been claimed!”



Notes:
“Eighty-one” – 81mm NATO calibre Medium mortar. The Russian version had an 82mm bore.
“Icarus” – Hand launched parachute flare, also known as “thousand foot flare”.
“Katyusha” – Russian nickname of the older 82mm artillery rocket also known as “Stalin’s Organ” .
It was superseded by the powerful 122mm projectile with a range of up to 30 km.
Other references are to; machine gun tracer fire, mines and booby-traps.


This post has been edited by Cleo_Serapis: Sep 15 13, 15:09
Reason for edit: Revision posted


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Psyche
post Jul 25 13, 01:25
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Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Grace Galton & David Ting




Hi Daniel! butterfly.gif

My computer has glitches...aaarghhh!! LightSaber.gif

I'm so glad your poem will be off to IBPC for August. bowdown.gif

I wish you the best of luck. I'll peek at your revision, certainly turtle.gif

Cheers, lovie.gif
Syl***


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Mis temas favoritos



"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Sep 15 13, 15:09
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Mosaic Master
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Posts: 18,891
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Much Congratulations to Wally!! This poem has just placed third for the August IBPC. cheer.gif cheer.gif cheer.gif

Here are judge Robert Sward's comments about it:
QUOTE
Third prize goes to author of "Flash in the Pan" with its effective use of rhyming couplets (and four-line stanzas) to describe a night-time artillery battle with mortar shells, hand-launched parachute flares (also known as "thousand-foot flare") and Katyusha, AKA "Stalin's Organ."

"Flash in the Pan" is an "action poem" that opens with a frightening exchange of fire, "a bump in the night? / Is that the start of an Eighty-one's flight? / Payload of chaos to no one knows where..."

A scene experienced from a distance before the camera, so to speak, zooms in close on a soldier, a single individual, at least as I read it, "Tiny hot flash of a rifle well-aimed / could modestly signal 'Your life has been claimed.'"

Hats of to a poet who can write about war (possibly in Afghanistan?) and doing so in rhyming iambic pentameter lines, i.e., ten-syllables to the line, two rhyming couplets to each stanza. There's a slight sing-songy quality that actually works for the poem, momentarily lulling the reader into a relative quiet, a dangerous quiet which, moments later, will be shattered by "shrieks overhead like a flaming banshee..."

Ambitious, a poem suggestive of a war veteran author, a poet with battle scars, and I like, too, the appropriate references to "Job" and "Icarus" which, in this context, feel right, that is, they seem to me "earned" and function as something more than decorative elements.

--Robert Sward


http://ibpc.webdelsol.com/poems/flash-in-the-pan

I KNEW this one deserved a larger audience. It's potent and worth the moving read. Read.gif
YAY for Wally! dance.gif Balloons.gif hersheyskiss.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Peterpan
post Sep 16 13, 02:47
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,621
Joined: 18-August 05
From: Johannesburg, South Africa
Member No.: 127
Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Jox



QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Sep 15 13, 22:09 ) *
Much Congratulations to Wally!! This poem has just placed third for the August IBPC. cheer.gif cheer.gif cheer.gif

Here are judge Robert Sward's comments about it:
QUOTE
Third prize goes to author of "Flash in the Pan" with its effective use of rhyming couplets (and four-line stanzas) to describe a night-time artillery battle with mortar shells, hand-launched parachute flares (also known as "thousand-foot flare") and Katyusha, AKA "Stalin's Organ."

"Flash in the Pan" is an "action poem" that opens with a frightening exchange of fire, "a bump in the night? / Is that the start of an Eighty-one's flight? / Payload of chaos to no one knows where..."

A scene experienced from a distance before the camera, so to speak, zooms in close on a soldier, a single individual, at least as I read it, "Tiny hot flash of a rifle well-aimed / could modestly signal 'Your life has been claimed.'"

Hats of to a poet who can write about war (possibly in Afghanistan?) and doing so in rhyming iambic pentameter lines, i.e., ten-syllables to the line, two rhyming couplets to each stanza. There's a slight sing-songy quality that actually works for the poem, momentarily lulling the reader into a relative quiet, a dangerous quiet which, moments later, will be shattered by "shrieks overhead like a flaming banshee..."

Ambitious, a poem suggestive of a war veteran author, a poet with battle scars, and I like, too, the appropriate references to "Job" and "Icarus" which, in this context, feel right, that is, they seem to me "earned" and function as something more than decorative elements.

--Robert Sward


http://ibpc.webdelsol.com/poems/flash-in-the-pan

I KNEW this one deserved a larger audience. It's potent and worth the moving read. Read.gif
YAY for Wally! dance.gif Balloons.gif hersheyskiss.gif



Congratulations and Well done Wally! you are amazing. You must be very proud! We are all very proud of you! Hugs. Bev


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May the angels guide your light.

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