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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ IPBC Archive _ April 2007 IBPC Nominations

Posted by: Eisa Mar 3 07, 17:09

This is a very original poem composed of different levels of mythology, spirituality and fantasy. I found it a very powerful poem.

This is posted in Seren's Synapse: http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=9861

QUOTE
Adonis in Dreamscape

Somewhere--
where chimney smoke dots the distance
in synaptic gaps, like memory loss in warm rolling meadows, I tango

with the sun matching my every step.
Our growing heat--a fever un-indexed on any chart--
warms my neck as meadowlarks

sing warnings to intruders. I pause
in rehearsed mid-curve of a dip
to slip myself off; upside-down, the blue sky

becomes a cloudy skipping stone path
along a zen azure river bed.
Someone crosses that rarefied stream; meadowlarks

scatter and soar into those rapid currents to drown,
as the timothy grass above
bows and parts like hair yielding to watery eyes. He arrives

hunkered and stalking; the sun
returns to its rightful place; released,
I twist and fall onto my knees.

The wind offers burning incense:
cherry-wood and ripened blackberries
from the undergrowth of his kinky hair.

His indefatigable arms,
with sun-kissed skin, gather me up--
wildflowers bunched to his bare chest

in one motion; I stare at thin scars on his stomach
while his breath--
a Snowy Owl's stuttering wingtip-- brushes me.

My trembling fingers crawl inside his hands: hands
dewy and deathless as the Earth
that receives us all in our due turn.

We spin.

Where did you come from, O Beautiful One? The ancient capital
of Nineveh, by way of Lesbos and Sappho's revered verse,
only to descend into my arms...maybe...

pivoting, his dark myrrhic eyes betray his intentions,
and I feel my breasts heave and sigh, as our rush
blurs grass and sky,

until colours fracture, fall
and form iridescent steps to Aphrodite's throne. We ascend past the clouds;
I half expect feathers to tear from his back, during our dance.

We drift.

I kiss him before he condenses and falls like rain,
returning back to the soft ground.
His blood slowly coagulates into a bed of red roses

that are plucked
by young, barefoot maidens in flowing, virginal dresses
who have come far to worship our passing beauty.

I wake.

The sun bestows me red rows through my window in consolation;
I grin at those fresh flowers filling the kitchen vase,
while my husband, awake early, smiles coyly
and burns myrrh incense.

Posted by: AMETHYST Mar 7 07, 01:12

Absolutely am smiling from ear to ear to see this here! Good Picking Snow! wink.gif

Good Luck, Tim ~ On yet another amazing poem! :) Hugs, Liz

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Mar 20 07, 05:31

Hiya Tim.

In order to have this poem included in our IBPC poll that I will creating this evening, we need to have your permission for inclusion.

I've sent along a few PM's and inquired in my crit to this poem as well. Should I assume you do NOT give your permission? If I do not hear back by 6PM this evening, sadly, we won't be able to include this one.

Please advise.
Lori

Posted by: AMETHYST Mar 29 07, 07:35

I would like to nominate this poem located in Herme's http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=10030&pid=93655&st=0&#entry93655 This poem is well written, making great use of metaphor and sounds to enhance certain meanings. The magical setting and intention is a grabber for any age - it not only speaks of enchantment, but the underlying, but peeking out metaphor of real life experiences are brought to life with this as well.


QUOTE
At dawn, when sunshine spills across the grass,
my eyes are drawn to fuzzy balls of light
that float and flit on gauzy wings. They pass
down low to skim the dandelions, their flight
controlled, describing angles as they go
criss-crossing rapidly without a pause
so that it's hard to see them clearly, though
here's one that hovers near,

defying laws

of physics. Oh. It's just a dragonfly;
a pity, for I thought I'd seen the dance
of sylvan sprites. Ah, Mother Nature's sly,
for where there's prey there'll always be a chance,

and here's a tic-tac-toe of silver webs
to catch the morning fairies by the legs.

Posted by: AMETHYST Mar 29 07, 07:42

I would like to nominate this for its strong use of sonics, and imagery connecting the past into the future - There is a strong sense of history within the majestic setting and tone. The poem unfolds the details of a story while maintaining a steady, harmonious voice. :) You will find the thread for this lovely poem at http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=8419


QUOTE
Lamentable Conviction


I stand

in Conquest’s aftermath,
where bronzed valleys bemoan
crimson-soaked chants.

Frantic charioteers storm off
to slaughter an enemy
of lamentable conviction.

In faint whispers,
Gods of Wind and Rain clamour
a thunder of horses’ hooves
upon my crusade

cleansing the bloodshed and core
of fallen kinfolk I never knew…

In that rancid place,
the gloom of dreams summons
those clanging upon heartstrings
of acquiescent minds.

For it is in their whirling laughter,
their incomprehensible actions,
that we shall find truth!

Those who follow false Messiahs
shall surely perish…
not by thy enemy’s sword nor hand,
but by their own feeble foolery.

A tolerant innocence exists
only in our yesterdays
where the strong return
shaking in triumph;
bearing freedom’s crest.

In black armour, we ride
to the depths of Hell,
where the only enemy to conquer

is ourselves.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter

Posted by: AMETHYST Mar 29 07, 08:38

I would like to nominate this for the lovely sentiments and smooth rhythym and rhymes through out.


QUOTE
Listen! (3RD REVISION)

Hear it ! The wind is calling us.
Let’s leave this gloomy cell,
to roam vast fields and pick
bouquets of sunshine in the dell.

Yes, listen! Let green grass and trees
command those flowers speak.
The call of deer, the chirp of birds
revive us when we're bleak.

Refrains of rains and swirling sea
console our heated mind.
These gifts of heaven, ours for free;
let's thank Him who is kind.

So don't allow your ears be closed
against the splendor's sighs
and never let your heart be blind
to modest orphans' cries.

Agatha Lai

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Mar 30 07, 05:38

Thank you very much Liz!

I appreciate and accept the nomination. This is one challenge that I really enjoyed responding to. It begs the question, What have learned about ourselves as human beings over centuries past? Are we our own enemies?

Cheers
~Cleo hsdance.gif

Posted by: AMETHYST Mar 30 07, 15:04

I would like to nominate this poem.


QUOTE
On the Verge. (Tersa Rima)

Alone. It's hot. Familiar odours steam
in tones of brown. The trees are breathing earth;
dark humus wets their feet and mine. I lean
against an ancient Puriri, its girth
a measurement of time. It gathers me,
absorbs my consciousness, and gives me birth

into another world ... of energy
that flows between the trees; that fiercely sweeps
in elemental chaos from the sea
and buffets, sneers at innocence that sleeps
upon the threshold. Help! A sly green man
is giggling in the leaves, enchantment creeps

in tangled vines. I run while yet I can,
my feet inspired by panic, lent by Pan.

Posted by: AMETHYST Mar 30 07, 15:45

I would love to nominate this poem. The Huitian Form is delightful and this poem examples the melodious tone the form can offer. The images and tone are wonderful, they make my spirit dance and I found both the detail of the poem and the skill in creating the poem a pleasurable experience to read! Wonderful poem!


QUOTE
Springtime Samba

As creatures stir with spring’s advance
familiar rhythms bid us dance,
cavorting while the skylark’s trilling;
nascent daffodils enhance
the grassy stage where lambkins prance.
Now winter’s pillowed, sunshine’s spilling,
glide to samba’s lively beat …
igniting passions with the heat.

Posted by: Eisa Mar 30 07, 17:03

Thank you Liz Balloons.gif

Hugs Snow Snowflake.gif

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Mar 31 07, 06:34

Congrats Snow - a lovely dance this is!

dance.gif

Posted by: AMETHYST Mar 31 07, 07:44

I would like to nominate this poem for its enchanting theme, the skill and pleasurable read. The calm and wonderfully pleasant feeling I get each time I read it. The images are stark and magical.

QUOTE
Seashell's Whisper

Sweet bluebells blue and cockleshells,
white puffy clouds and playful swells
bedeck the gently rolling dunes
that harbour ancient mystic runes

and fairies whisp'ring tales that tell
of bluebells blue and cockleshells.
Soft floral crowns, pink-posied rings,
whose wafting scents on breezes sing

of sun-warmed sighs o'er ivory beach,
are drifting far outside their reach
for bluebells blue and cockleshells,
to wind up haunting distant dells.

Yet maidens poise on sultry sands,
mer-magic sown by fictive hands
bewitching sea-foam tint pastels
from bluebells blue and cockleshells.

Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright March 17, 2007

Posted by: Cathy Mar 31 07, 08:20

Are you the original author of this poem? Yes

Has this poem ever been published? No

Has this poem been nominated by any other participating board (of IBPC)? No

Has this poem been reviewed as "best and final" to assure the latest revision is judged? No... I will try to have it up to snuff before the deadline.

Is your email address on file up to date (what is it)? Yes

Do you accept the nomination to submit the work (if selected to represent MM)? Yes

If yes to above question, what is your real name? Cathy Bollhoefer

Posted by: AMETHYST Mar 31 07, 09:01

Congratulations! Thanks Cathy ~ this is yet another example of how wonderful your talent and your heart is...

Hugs, Liz

Posted by: Eisa Mar 31 07, 19:53

I would like to nominate this very unique poem written by Liz. It's unusual format lends itself to a very thought provoking piece of work, displaying irony and humour. I love it! This poem is located in Seren's Synapse http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=9937.


QUOTE
Ambidextrous


I write with my right hand;
articulate and methodical
chirography.
Ink weaves itself, like silk threads
against a virgin leaf.

What's right feels wrong.
Neatly drawn words
fence in honesty,
confining truth, like stallions
in orderly corrals.

Secrets unleashed,
sowed in the unconscious,
as infertile seeds that release

prosaic verse, lacking passion,
like desert sun-tinged sands
are dry and useless.
I use my left hand these days,
speaking aloud, truths
that never dared to dance from my lips.

Prowling promises, secrets
emerge, purge my past
of decadent pleasures, and sordid schemes
that seep through crevices,
as unseen touches that haunt
in restless sleep.
Poetry surges
across vacant pages -- animated.
Unfortunately the words
are much too sloppy to decipher.

Posted by: Kathy Mar 31 07, 22:39

I am honoured by your nomination, Liz. Thank you.

I don't think I can accept though, because the original was published in '03. I have changed it on site here, but it is too close to the original to qualify, I think.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Posted by: Kathy Mar 31 07, 22:44

Oh this one has been published too.

But thank you Liz. I am excited that you thought it worthy for the IBPC.

Posted by: Kathy Apr 1 07, 00:26

Well nominated. :) I am very tired after several night shifts, but will be back.

K

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 1 07, 07:05

Thanks Kathy for your reply.

Yes, the IBPC will not accept previously published works. :(

That's ok - I'm sure you'll have other poems that can be nominated over time.

Cheers
~Cleo

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 1 07, 07:08

Thanks Kathy for letting us know - that's too bad, but at least we're all on the same page in that this one should be seen by a wider audience.

The IBPC won't accept previously published poems. :(

I'm sure you'll have other works to share in time....

Cheers
~Cleo

Posted by: Eisa Apr 2 07, 03:44

Oh Kathy! -- what a shame. I like this one so much that I have nominated it for Member's Choice for March instead. Good Luck!

Snow Snowflake.gif

Posted by: Eisa Apr 2 07, 04:23

I would like to nominate http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=9930 by Psyche (Sylvia) located in Seren's Synapse. This poem is so beautiful, with stunning imagery throughout, with much to read between the layers. It's found in Seren's Synapse.


QUOTE
TREASURES

Spring lightning!
At dawn it reveals naked Andean peaks,
in the evening it disrobes pastures.
Threads of rain reflect rainbows
between lake and heart-shaped hills.
I dream that you caress my cheeks
as we move, side by side,
along spirals that ebb and flow
like galactic tides.

I awaken on a bed of tender leaves.
You are no longer there.

Yesterday, capricious Spring
drew aureoles on the lake.
I gathered shells
sculptured by water nymphs
and lifted twigs whose smooth fingers
had dimpled the sandbanks.
Stroking algae, moss, tasting froth
in the hollows of my treasures,
I carried them home,
but they forgot their beauty on the beach
under showers of incandescent rain.

You were not waiting for me.

Today, I lie in the shade
of a blossoming apple-tree.
I listen to insects' concerts,
sense humming-birds’ ardour
as they sip nectar from half-open buds.
Their titillating wings remind me
of your lips, your soft skin,
of you.

A dogrose thrusts virile roots
deep into Mother Earth,
dropping petals from its branches
around my thighs.
I taste dewdrops on my tongue
and remember your naked body,
loving me.

I’ll carry these memories home.
Will you be waiting for me?

Posted by: Kathy Apr 2 07, 04:23

That's so nice of you! Thanks.

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 2 07, 15:37

unsure.gif Hmmmmm ... Kathy I am both happy and sad. I am very sad that these wonderful poems are not eligable for nomination in IBPC, but I am happy that your poems are published, as that is the intention here with IBPC, is to get excellent poetry such as this, read by a larger audience and published as an end result. So you've already acheived this! YAHHHH, but I would have LOVED this to have been a representative of MM's family! wink.gif

Hugs, Liz

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 2 07, 16:50

Thank you Snow for this wonderful surprise! :) I do like this poem very much. I still have some work to do on it, but it shouldn't be too long till it is considered done!

Thank you, Lori and Kathy too for your support! Hugs, all of you, Liz

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 2 07, 16:51

Yes this is worthy of recognition... Hugs, Liz

Posted by: Kathy Apr 2 07, 18:42

See? I did come back. smile.gif Nice one, Liz!

Posted by: Kathy Apr 2 07, 18:46

That's the trouble with getting things published. It's a bit like eating cake, 'cos you don't have it any more. And who knows who reads my published ones? Prob'ly in a bookcase somewhere, sad and dusty.

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 3 07, 05:23

Oh, I haven't had the pleasure to read or comment on this one yet Snow - how lovely! cloud9.gif

I'll send Sylvia the permission PM now.

Cheers
~Cleo

Posted by: Psyche Apr 5 07, 10:29

Hi Snow!
Thank you so much for nominating my poem TREASURES! What a lovely surprise!
I'm so glad you like it... JackBox.gif
Hugs,
Sylvia blush21.gif

Posted by: Psyche Apr 5 07, 10:32

Thank you, Cleo, for your complimentary remarks. I feel quite honoured... butterfly.gif
Hugs,
Sylvia cloud9.gif

Posted by: Psyche Apr 5 07, 10:51

Ah, I liked this one from the start, Liz! I'm so glad it's been nominated, wish I had done it myself...
Best of luck!
Hugs, Sylvia cloud9.gif

Posted by: Psyche Apr 5 07, 11:02

An enchanting poem, Cathy! It has such a magical atmosphere, and the form is perfect!
Best of luck!
Hugs, Sylvia

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 6 07, 05:16

Hi Aggie.

I've updated this nomination with your newest revision. Can you please send me back your Permission PM form?

Thanks!
~Cleo pharoah2.gif

Posted by: Psyche Apr 6 07, 13:46

I would like to nominate Petra's Splendor, by Merlin. It can be found at http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=10007

QUOTE
Petra's Splendor

Olive trees guard castle towers
where one weary, footsore soldier
paused enraptured,
spellbound silent,
several centuries ago.
He was homeward bound from fighting
far afield in Nabataea,
from that land of stone and splendor,
filled with Hellenistic grandeur
throughout tombs and striking temples
and its pillared palace walls.

Petra's fall went not to armies.


In a shining Baroque city
sits a dark-haired man of thirty
underneath a massive olive
whose extended branches beckoned
to a passing caballero
seeking respite.
As he listens to the birdsongs
he drifts back in time, recalling
how she gave her youthful body
and they loved in fervid frenzy
while a far-off, faint Angelus
pealed the faithful to their duties.
Flown, those kindled helix hours
when they romped through hills and canyons,
laughed and loved beneath one myrtle,
till their amethystine river
lured him to enchanted places
brimmed with charm and daunting skylines.

Flown away like fleeting birdnotes...
Oftentimes he thinks of Petra.

It's a fine, inspiring poem, with great imagery and a brilliant evocation of an ancient myth (seldom
poetized on, as far as I know).

Hope Merlin accepts!
Cheers,
Sylvia

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 6 07, 18:07

I love this poem. What an excellent choice Sylvia - I myself was going to post! I think many of us second, third, fourth and so on ... nominate it!

Hugs, Liz

Posted by: Aggiel Apr 6 07, 20:45

Thanks a lot, Liz and Lori.

pcgal.gif pcgal.gif thanks.gif butterfly1.gif


Aggie

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 6 07, 22:50

No thanks necessary, your wonderful poem did it for you! Good luck in this months Polling... Good to see your poetry again!

Best Wishes, Liz

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 6 07, 22:51

Thank you Kathy and Sylvia, I am liking this one too. Still some minor revisions to complete! wink.gif Thank you for the support!

Hugs, Liz

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 6 07, 22:53

And the answer to that question powerfully allows the reader to feel the depth in your response. I think this is a powerful and amazing poem! Good luck in the polling Hugs, Liz

Posted by: Eisa Apr 7 07, 03:57

I would like to nominate this poem found in http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=10026, by JaxMyth. It is a very thought provoking powerful poem written with excellence.


QUOTE
Reflections in Silver by JaxMyth


I

You could smell the dead
when the stone was rolled away.
My father rose inside me,
took my hands and head
and turned me to the echoes
reflected by the mirror's face,
"Welcome back!" they said.

II

Mirrors,
placed opposite in rooms
reflect to infinity,
reflect on the emptiness of,
on the fullness of

infinity.

III

I do not like to walk along the shopping strip
because the Butcher's window holds my father's face.
He mirrors my expressions, apes my curling lip
and always leaves me questioning his sense of place.

IV

Mirrors,
should be buried with the dead.
The dead should have one large mirror in their hands.
They should have small mirrors placed on their eyes
We should see ourselves
in the dead.

The dead can hold us tightly in their hands.
The dead can hold us in their eyes.
We can be made of silver.

The dead
are thin skinned and silver.
Their eyes and tongues are silver.

Mirrors
are silvered and thin skinned.

The skin of death is thin and is of silver.

Death can always be found
in a mirror.

Posted by: JaxMyth Apr 9 07, 04:55

Many thanks for the nomination but I have to decline the honour as this one is up for publication.

Kind regards,

Jax

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 9 07, 05:33

Oh bummer, well, no it's a GOOD reason to decline. cheer.gif Best of luck Jan - thanks for your reply!
~Cleo sun.gif

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 13 07, 12:38

I would like to nominate this poem written by Snow and can be found in Herme's at http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=9982 because of the pleasurable read, the sounds are just short of a lullaby, and the heartfelt story touches the reader with a powerful sense of humanity and the beauty of the poem is 'felt' through out. A must read for any reader looking to 'feel' a poem.



QUOTE
Mam's Best Broach (revision -- 10/04/07)

Dragonfly – your topaz dazzles
like a yellow winged darter
hovering over reminiscence.
Camouflaged in amethyst
you settle on her plum jacket,
wings recalling fairies from
her bed-time tales; they frolic
amongst lavender and marigolds,
dancing in my dreams.

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 13 07, 12:41

Permission PM Sent WHoooo HOooooooo magictongue.png

Posted by: Eisa Apr 14 07, 04:47

Oh thanks for nominating this one Liz -- it is very special to me! butterfly1.gif

Hugs Snow Snowflake.gif

Posted by: Kathy Apr 14 07, 05:05

Well done, Liz. Let's have a party!

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 15 07, 13:11

Permission Notice received and granted! YAHHHH .... TIm! Good luck Tim in the polling

Hugs, Liz

Posted by: Eisa Apr 15 07, 15:04

Hooray! I'm glad you've given permission Tim

Snow Snowflake.gif

Posted by: azurepoetry Apr 22 07, 08:00

Hello All,

I am off on vacation (NY) for a week, but I just wanted to wish everyone well and ask one of the mods/admin: could you please change "thicken" in this line---His blood slowly thickens into a bed of red roses ---back to "coagulates".

Thank you all and I wish you luck on this month's competition. Cheers!
~Tim

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 22 07, 16:57

All set Tim!

Enjoy your vacation - I hope the retreat goes well and your visit to NYC is fun!

Cheers
~Cleo

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 29 07, 08:04

Congratulations Snow! Artist.gif

Best of luck in the IBPC competition! margarita.gif

This is already a winner!

~Cleo pharoah2.gif

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 29 07, 08:04

Congratulations Cathy! Artist.gif

Best of luck in the IBPC competition! margarita.gif

This is already a winner!

~Cleo pharoah2.gif

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 29 07, 08:04

Congratulations Liz! Artist.gif

Best of luck in the IBPC competition! margarita.gif

This is already a winner!

~Cleo pharoah2.gif

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 29 07, 18:20

Thanks Lori,

I am so excited. Will you do the honors of formatting as you have - Hmmmm, perhaps I will need to carry you around with me till I learn to do it myself.

Hugs, Liz ...

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 29 07, 18:24

CONGRATULATIONS CATHY!!!


Good Luck with IBPC In May - And it looks like this Judge has a liken to poetry of quality not just R&M or FV, he really made some excellent choices for 1st, 2nd and 3rd Place and I look forward to seeing his thoughts on future poems.

This is beautiful and has a great chance of placing! :)

Hugs, Liz

Posted by: AMETHYST Apr 29 07, 18:28

Congratulations Snow!!!


This is going to turn heads at IBPC, the heart felt subject, the beautiful sounds and the amazing talents that dance from every syllable.

I know you will do well with this! Big Hugs, Liz ...

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 29 07, 18:28

LOL! No problem Liz - it should be easier 'cos I'll be putting it into an .rtf file for the email on the 1st of May. You just need to play around with those indent tags on this forum's software to make it spaced like I did...... grinning.gif

Best of luck!
~Cleo wizard2.gif

Posted by: Eisa Apr 30 07, 03:52

Whipee! I'm so glad I nominated this -- it is so unique, I cannot see how it will fail to get a place. Fingers crossed! PartyFavor.gif

hugs Snow Snowflake.gif

Posted by: Eisa Apr 30 07, 03:54

Thank you both for your good wishes -- and thanks for nominating this Liz. This is such an honour!

Hugs Snow Snowflake.gif

Posted by: Eisa Apr 30 07, 03:57

Oh Cathy -- I'm so thrilled is going to IBPC -- your muse is back gal! Whippee! This has a magical charm -- I hope the judge will not be able to resist it!

Hugs Snow Snowflake.gif

Posted by: Psyche Apr 30 07, 12:12

TRULY WONDERFUL, CATHY!!!! CONGRATULATIONS OVER AND OVER!!!!
HUGS FROM YOUR FRIEND,

SYL *** magicwink1.png butterfly1.gif bowdown.gif hsdance.gif

Posted by: Cathy May 2 07, 07:44

Thanks everyone! *smiles*

Cathy

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