 STORMBREAK |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
 May 15 09, 02:09
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#1
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 Greek  Posts: 743 Joined: 3-February 09 From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK Member No.: 754 Real Name: Leonora Wyatt Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:No one at all  |
Calm Before the Storm Sky. A sullen, faded, purple bruise. Trees. Wilted leaves - forsaken tatters. Air. Metallic reek of rusty screws. Wind. Dawdling over other matters. Sun. Eclipsed - by louring, static clouds. Birds. Mute. inside the gathering gloom. Skin. Tingling - whilst finer hairs stand proud. All. A-kindle for the storm to bloom. Ω Tempest Sky. Scored by lightning's ravaging claws. Trees. Ripped out. Roots, replacing branches. Air. Thundering manic wild applause. Wind. Whirling wayward Dervish dances. Sun. Usurped from his own fair domain. Birds. Storm-tossed by the tempest's power. Skin. Tensed tight - as though in mortal pain. All. Fleeing from that fury - cower. Leo Wyatt April '09 ·······  ······· |
  
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May 15 09, 16:23
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#2
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hi Leo
I always look forward to reading your poems, for their vivid descriptions. This one is no exeption and I like the format you have used - it is most unusual, yet classic due to the rhymes. Another thing I like is the way you have compared sky, trees air etc before the storm & during storm. One of my favourite lines is Wind. Whirling wayward Dervish dances. This paints a clear picture for me. I have no nits on first read -- but will be back for a second look soon. Snow  ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner            |
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May 16 09, 10:24
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#3
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 1,802 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Connecticut Member No.: 58 Real Name: Ron Jones Writer of: Poetry |
Dear Loe,
Unique and memorable! Cheers, Ron jgdittier ······· ······· |
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May 16 09, 13:36
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#4
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 Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Hi Leo,
Absolutely beautiful! On first read, the rhymes were so unobtrusive that I didn't even notice them. My only regret is you didn't add a third and final part for when the storm had passed. I have no nits or crits on this wonderful piece. Larry ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner   |
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May 17 09, 05:26
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#5
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 Babylonian Posts: 64 Joined: 2-April 09 From: Beautiful Brooklyn NY Member No.: 773 Real Name: Michael Pollack Writer of: Poetry |
Wonderfully innovative
you say so much with so little - always a sign of a well written poem. Bravo!! ······· ·······anything which does not kill me makes me stronger
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May 18 09, 01:34
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#6
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Greek Posts: 743 Joined: 3-February 09 From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK Member No.: 754 Real Name: Leonora Wyatt Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:No one at all |
Good morning to Snow, Ron, Larry and Mike. Thank you all for finding the time to make such positive comments on 'Stormbreak' - which was written as an attempt at poetic, descriptive brevity.
This Spring, here in France, we had a hugely destructive storm; uprooting thousands of venerable old trees, right across the country; leaving them lying in the mud, with their roots in the air. It was so distressing to see them. I realise, of course, that many other places suffered far more serious blows from 'mother' Nature; and recognise that we were fortunate that so few people were killed. Leo xx ······· ······· |
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May 21 09, 21:26
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#7
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Assyrian Posts: 201 Joined: 28-April 09 From: Canada Member No.: 784 Real Name: Marc-Andre Germain Writer of: Poetry |
Hi Leo,
No nit from me on this one, I find it well-crafted, vivid and highly evocative. I've been thinking of trying my hand at the structure of May Swenson's At East River. Stormbreak offers me the same kind of inspiration. Thanks for posting this. Mark ······· ······· |
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May 26 09, 01:25
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#8
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Greek Posts: 743 Joined: 3-February 09 From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK Member No.: 754 Real Name: Leonora Wyatt Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:No one at all |
Good Morning Marc-Andre - I am fairly sure that the form of this poem is not original - but it did come out of nowhere. It is useful for list-poems, where comparisons need to be made. Thank you for giving it the,
'Mark-Andre Certificate of Nit-Freeness.'  I Googled May Swenson - and was blown away by her work - I must go back and read more! I have bookmarked 'Scroppo's Dog' which moved me to tears on first reading - but then, I am a sucker for mistreated dogs. Thank you for aiming me at her. Leo ······· ······· |
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Jun 4 09, 05:30
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#9
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 Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 783 Joined: 24-July 07 From: South Africa Member No.: 457 Real Name: Walter Schwim Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Mistral |
Hi Leo,
A very clear and concise painting getting the reader into the subject with minimal wordplay. A very beautiful poem indeed that depicts natures power very skilfully. Thank you for sharing thase inspiring words. Hugs, Wally ······· ······· |
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Jun 5 09, 01:49
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#10
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Greek Posts: 743 Joined: 3-February 09 From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK Member No.: 754 Real Name: Leonora Wyatt Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:No one at all |
Good morning Wally - How nice to see you here again! Many thanks for looking in, and reading this poem - Your kind words are an added bonus.
Nature can - as you know - be terrifying when she chooses. Leo ······· ······· |
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