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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse _ Mystery at Baddesley Clinton *** (revision 3)
Posted by: Eisa Dec 7 16, 18:02
Mystery at Baddeley Clinton (revision 3)
Nicholas returned early, gasped;
the priest was stroking
his wife’s chin - or perhaps
he was about to choke her.
Horror fuelled rage, sword
flashed in candle light.
Step over him now, buried in upright
stance beneath St Michael’s entrance.
As penance, he built the church steeple.
The library floor remains ensanguine
by the stone arched fireside, but
it’s pig’s blood daubed on the boards.
Erroneous legend; the killing
took place in an ancient room
no longer standing.
Now, footsteps echo along
panelled corridors that lead
to the reading room.
Voices argue, startle; a priest
takes mass in the shadows.
A woman in black drifts
through walls. Objects move,
door handles turn
- hands unseen.
--------------------------------------------
Mystery at Baddesley Clinton (revision 2)
Nicholas returned early, the priest’s
hands on his wife’s chin. Was he
stroking her or trying to choke her?
Was it jealousy or fear when rage erupted,
sword drawn on the holy man?
Nicholas paid penance,
building a steeple for St Michael’s.
You can step over him,
buried in upright stance
beneath the church entrance.
The library floor remains ensanguine
by the stone arched fireside;
tests conclude pig’s blood was daubed
on the boards. Yet this killing
was chronicled in an ancient room.
Arguing voices startle;
the priest takes mass in the dark.
Footsteps echo along
panelled corridors that lead
to the reading room.
A woman in black drifts through
walls, objects move
and door handles turn
by unseen hands.
------------------------------------------
Murder at Baddesley Clinton (revision1)
The library floor remains ensanguine
in front of the stone arched fireplace,
topped with its oak over-mantel.
Nicholas returned early, the priest
was stroking his wife's chin.
Was he flirting or about to strangle her?
Rage erupted, sword stabbing life
from the holy man.
Nicholas paid penance,
building a steeple for St Michael’s.
You can step over him,
buried in upright stance
beneath the entrance.
Indelible blemishes by the fireside
tested to be pig's blood, yet
a killing was chronicled
in part of the house
no longer standing.
Arguing voices startle;
the priest takes mass in the dark.
Footsteps echo along
panelled corridors that lead
to the reading room.
A woman in black drifts through
walls, objects move and handles
turn by unseen hands.
_______________________________________
Murder at Baddesley Clinton
The library floor remains ensanguine
in front of the stone arched fireplace
topped with its oak over-mantel.
Nicholas returned early, discovered
the priest stroking his wife's chin.
Was he flirting or about to strangle her?
Rage erupted, sword stabbing life
from the holy man.
Indelible blemishes by the fireside
tested to be pig's blood, yet
a killing was chronicled
in the ancient section of the house,
Footsteps sometimes echo along
panelled corridors that lead
to the reading room;
door handles turn
by unseen hands.
Posted by: greenwich Dec 11 16, 15:11
Pigs blood, very theatrical . The poem feels like a basis for a crime / mystery and this is the succinct formulation.
Posted by: Psyche Dec 12 16, 18:03
Wow, Eira! I did a lot of research before saying anything about this intriguing poem. First of all, I googled Baddesley Clinton, where I spent a lot of time, figuratively speaking, enjoying the landscape, buildings, mission, restaurant, etc. I suppose you visited this National Trust treasure during the summer?
What lovely walks and treks one can have in Britain. Argentina is so much wilder, you don't find pathways marked out for you so rigorously, with such well-kept buildings and places to rest.
Not that we don't have stunning areas of all kinds. National Parks are well guarded and one can take guided tours. But it's not the same.
The library floor remains ensanguine <<<<had to look it up!
in front of the stone arched fireplace
topped with its oak over-mantel.<<<<<< this also!
Nicholas returned early, discovered
the priest stroking his wife's chin.
Was he flirting or about to strangle her?
Rage erupted, sword stabbing life
from the holy man.
The above stanza is about a legend, I read about it. It appears Nicholas was not charged with murder, but was ordered to do some tasks, if I remember correctly?
Indelible blemishes by the fireside
tested to be pig's blood, yet <<<<< I'm thinking the pig's blood was used to trick investigators. Not sure, but I do wonder how they knew, in those times, how to test any sort of blood...LOL.
a killing was chronicled
in the ancient section of the house, <<<<Don't you need a full-stop here?
Footsteps sometimes echo along
panelled corridors that lead
to the reading room;
door handles turn
by unseen hands. <<<<<Scary! Good ending.
So glad you've returned, Eira! It's been feeling lonely at MM. I've reduced my visits to a couple of times a week. Maybe I'll post some FV.
Hugs, Syl
Posted by: mt2polar Dec 13 16, 14:04
Eisa,
I like the feel of this. It develops as an after dream, or a real visit, or a real time deja vu thing. Descriptions in present tense and the story as past gives a well defined separation. S4 brings the two together but there is more to it that I am not reading.
mt
Posted by: Eisa Jan 4 17, 19:10
Thanks Antony!
Eira
Posted by: Eisa Jan 4 17, 19:19
What lovely walks and treks one can have in Britain. Argentina is so much wilder, you don't find pathways marked out for you so rigorously, with such well-kept buildings and places to rest.
Not that we don't have stunning areas of all kinds. National Parks are well guarded and one can take guided tours. But it's not the same.
The library floor remains ensanguine <<<<had to look it up!
in front of the stone arched fireplace
topped with its oak over-mantel.<<<<<< this also!
Nicholas returned early, discovered
the priest stroking his wife's chin.
Was he flirting or about to strangle her?
Rage erupted, sword stabbing life
from the holy man.
The above stanza is about a legend, I read about it. It appears Nicholas was not charged with murder, but was ordered to do some tasks, if I remember correctly?
Indelible blemishes by the fireside
tested to be pig's blood, yet <<<<< I'm thinking the pig's blood was used to trick investigators. Not sure, but I do wonder how they knew, in those times, how to test any sort of blood...LOL.
a killing was chronicled
in the ancient section of the house, <<<<Don't you need a full-stop here?
Footsteps sometimes echo along
panelled corridors that lead
to the reading room;
door handles turn
by unseen hands. <<<<<Scary! Good ending.
So glad you've returned, Eira! It's been feeling lonely at MM. I've reduced my visits to a couple of times a week. Maybe I'll post some FV.
Hugs, Syl
Hi Syl,
I'm glad to be back with my new laptop, but have struggled to interact, with Xmas preparations and now have a cold and a painful back!
Baddesley Clinton is a National Trust place we seem to visit every year as it's not too far away. There are many other stories I will possibly write about. It was the National Trust that actually tested the blood - found to be pigs.
I will be revising soon as there are a few more details I could include.
I hope you will post something soon.
Hugs
Eira
Posted by: Eisa Jan 4 17, 19:24
I like the feel of this. It develops as an after dream, or a real visit, or a real time deja vu thing. Descriptions in present tense and the story as past gives a well defined separation. S4 brings the two together but there is more to it that I am not reading.
mt
Hi Michael,
This was written after a visit to Baddesley Clinton. I'm so glad you like it. I will be revising soon as there are a few details I can include.
Eira
Posted by: Psyche Jan 9 17, 00:21
Of course, I hadn't thought of that, Eira. DNA tests are done on a regular basis when anthropologists or archeologists are exploring old ruins. I get pretty dim come bedtime.
You could include a few more details, but if you're planning to write more about this particular place, it wouldn't be necessary. We'll learn all about it in several 'chapters'.
Sorry about your back pain. Hope it's better now. I don't want to compete, but just imagine that sort of pain over your whole body, as with Fibromyalgia. Do take care of yourself.
Bring your Muse along, we'll be delighted.
Hugs, Syl
Posted by: Eisa Jan 10 17, 18:48
A revision with a few more details.
Eira
Posted by: Eisa Jan 30 17, 17:15
Another revision - hoping this is more mysterious and trimmed
Eira
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