Armageddon

Fresh violets may mask the stench of death
as nations strive to grasp what’s going on
but feel the dirge’s hum in whispered breath.
Those twilight sins for which one would atone
are now revealed. From babe to oldest crone,
all cringe and pale to hear the horses’ pace
increase until the four shall stand alone;
each tramping out humanity’s last trace.



Words used in order of appearance: violet, strive, grasp, hum, twilight, cringe, pace, pale, horses, tramp

WOW. Great use of the words in a metered huitain no less. Love the reference to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in L7.

I do wonder though if "on" really rhymes with "atone" and "crone". I'm assuming you're using the ababbcbc scheme.

Luce

Hi Luce,

Thanks for the visit and the read. You're correct about the reference to the "Four Horsemen". That is what the Huitain is about.

Although this forum is not for critique, "on" according to Espy's "A Primer of Prosody" does rhyme with your mentioned words and the ones used. It does not, however, rhyme with "lawn" or "prawn" due to the long "o". Most likely, colloquialisms have a lot to do with pronunciation in different sectors of the USA and the world.

The given words of horses, cringe, twilight and pale were the keys my muse accentuated to guide me to the poem.

Again, thanks for the read.

Larry

Hello Larry,
well done to make a rhymer. The word-set may not be the easiest in this case. At any rate, I've not tried one.

Interesting on the word "on". For me it certainly rhymes with John and Dawn, also Don. Regional, perhaps, but rhyming with "Own" sounds a wee bit British to me. Shall I carry own? I say, y'all, jolly good.

I've posted a couple in FB, but as you don't use that forum, they will be here to see. They're getting about as much publicity over in cybertown as they will here!

M

Oh Merlin,

You had me at "own" but then you lost me at "y'all".

Yep, my thoughts exactly about "on".

Checking out your trio next. Bringing my laser sword with me, if needed.

Hi Luce,

Not wanting to belabor the subject but needing to clarify usage, I thought I would trot out my colloquial pronunciation guide in reference to on with a macron which is a long “o” with an “oh” sound and rhymes with my chosen words and on with a circumflex which is a short “o” with an “au” or “aw” sound and rhymes with your suggested and referenced words. I don’t know if the online dictionaries you looked at delved into any of this but mine contains the umlaut diacritical marks for both “on’s” in case of possible vowel changes at the start or within a word.

Perhaps I should have put the macron in so as to have alleviated all the confusion. There is cause for great consternation in rhyming such words because without either of the marks, the “o” could be pronounced either way. Anyway, discussions are always nice and I should have taken both pronunciations into consideration.

Larry