Halloween 2005 - Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews

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Halloween 2005

Blank_Canvas View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 3 05, 14:14 Post #1
Greek Group: Gold Member Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose	Going to have some fun with this one ! lol Halloween 2005 The dead will all get up and jive.... They'll weave us into an evil trance As they rise up to sing and dance. Witches serve their wicked brew, singing chants both tried and true. Brooms will keep the sickly beat that bring night creatures to their feet. Cats and bats will screech and howl. Hounds will whimper, wolves will growl. Stilted skeletons practice rhythmic moves, enticing others to join the groove. Thirsty vampires whisper, "come, be mine", looking ghoulishly sexy, somehow refined. Their embrace offers a dance, then a bite. We'll all succumb; it will simply seem right. They'll rock the place with a metallic beat. They can't stand music that is soft and sweet. It vibrates and pulses and has so much soul; It'll soon have yours...their ultimate goal. 2005 Marcia ·············· "...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner

Cleo_Serapis View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 3 05, 17:36 Post #2
Mosaic Master Group: Administrator Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep	Hi Marcia! :ghostface: What a great poem here to celebrate the ghoulies to! :goodwitch: :ghost: :bat: :zombie: :pumpkin: If I might make two suggestion: QUOTE The vampires whisper, "come, be mine", looking ghoulish, attractive, sexy...refined. to The vampires whisper, "come, be mine", looking ghoulishly sexy...refined. and to personalize the ending line with: It'll soon have yours...their ultimate goal. This is a keeper! I'll be back again to read this one for sure! :wolf: Happy Haunting! ~Cleo :pharoah: ·············· "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life. MM Award Winner

Blank_Canvas View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 3 05, 19:15 Post #3
Greek Group: Gold Member Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose	Loved your suggestions, Lori. Added an always to even out the beat a liitle. See if you like it more now. This was so much fun to play around with. Marcia ·············· "...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner

Cleo_Serapis View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 4 05, 05:42 Post #4
Mosaic Master Group: Administrator Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep	Well done Marcia! :pharoah2 ·············· "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life. MM Award Winner

Guest_Cathy_*	Oct 4 05, 10:08 Post #5
Guest	Hi Marcia, This is a fun one! LOL I can see the party as it progresses. Can you imagine the mummy, in his tightly wrapped bandages trying to boogie! Halloween 2005 The dead will all get up and jive.... They'll have us in their evil trance What about: They weave us into evil trance ...? As they get up to sing and dance. Witches serve their wicked brew, singing chants both tried and true. Brooms will keep the sickly beat that bring the creatures to their feet. I love the image of the dancing brooms! lol Cats and bats will screech and howl. Hounds will whimper, wolves will growl. Skeletons begin such rhythmic moves, Maybe: skeletons stilted in rhythmic moves? enticing others to join the groove. [Thirsty]{The} vampires whisper, "come, be mine", looking ghoulishly sexy... always{,} refined. Their embrace offers a dance, then a bite. We'll all succumb; it will simply seem right. I love this verse! They'll rock the place with a metallic beat. They can't stand music that is soft and sweet. It vibrates and pulses and has so much soul; It'll soon have yours...their ultimate goal. Perfect ending! Wonderfully fun.. I really enjoyed it! Cathy :wolf: :ghost: :gimli: :medusa:

jgdittier View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 4 05, 16:24 Post #6
Creative Chieftain Group: Platinum Member Posts: 1,802 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Connecticut Member No.: 58 Real Name: Ron Jones Writer of: Poetry	DEar Black Canvas, You've a hit here! I'll comment further once you've updated it. Nicely done! Cheers, Ron jgd ·············· Ron Jones MM Award Winner

Blank_Canvas View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 4 05, 16:30 Post #7
Greek Group: Gold Member Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose	Cathy, Thanks for taking time to comment and for offering up some very nice refinements. Will implement some of your suggestions and will rephrase some sentences. I love the addition of thirsty and stilted. A few simple words , but makes the poem so much more descriptive. Hope you'll like the changes..... Marcia ·············· "...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner

Guest_Cathy_*	Oct 5 05, 11:21 Post #8
Guest	Hi Marcia, Isn't it great! With just a word you can change or enhance an image! I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with it. I will be back! Cathy

Guest_Nina_*	Oct 5 05, 15:55 Post #9
Guest	Hi Marcia Oooh what a demonic disco, perfect for Halloween. The dead will all get up and jive.... They'll weave us into an evil trance As they get up to sing and dance. Witches serve their wicked brew, singing chants both tried and true. Brooms will keep the sickly beat that bring the creatures to their feet. ...just a thought: how about night creature instead of the creatures? Cats and bats will screech and howl. Hounds will whimper, wolves will growl. Stilted skeletons practice rhythmic moves, ..how about Skinny skeletons? enticing others to join the groove. Thirsty vampires whisper, "come, be mine", looking ghoulishly sexy, somehow refined. Their embrace offers a dance, then a bite. We'll all succumb; it will simply seem right. They'll rock the place with a metallic beat. They can't stand music that is soft and sweet. It vibrates and pulses and has so much soul; It'll soon have yours...their ultimate goal. ...heehee excellent ending I think I shall decline my invitation to this party Much enjoyed the read Nina

Blank_Canvas View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 5 05, 16:33 Post #10
Greek Group: Gold Member Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose	Ron, Thanks for the comments. Hope you get a chance to stop back by. Look forward to it ! Marcia ·············· "...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner

Blank_Canvas View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 5 05, 16:49 Post #11
Greek Group: Gold Member Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose	Nina, Like the insertion of the word night . Very good idea. This is turning out to be a community poem.....everyone has such wonderful ideas to make it better. It has been amazing fun watching it develop. I am also glad that those of you who have read and responded are having some fun with it, too. ~grin~ :pumpkin: :wolf: :bat: :ghost: :goodwitch: Marcia ·············· "...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner

Cleo_Serapis View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 5 05, 19:24 Post #12
Mosaic Master Group: Administrator Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep	Marcia. I've been peeking .... :gnome: :zombie: :ghost: :bat: and thought I'd offer up two more ideas for this cool ditty. Please take or toss.... ~Cleo {delete} [add] The dead will all get up and jive.... They'll weave us into an evil trance As they {get} [rise] up to sing and dance. Thirsty vampires whisper, "come, be mine", looking ghoulishly sexy, somehow refined. Their embrace offers a dance, then a bite. We'll all succumb; it will {simply} [ghastly] seem right. ·············· "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life. MM Award Winner

heartsong7 View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 6 05, 19:46 Post #13
Creative Chieftain Group: Gold Member Posts: 862 Joined: 25-June 04 From: Ohio, USA Member No.: 70 Real Name: Susan Eckenrode Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Merlin	Marcia... what a fun poem for Halloween. You have had some excellent advice to make what was good even better. Nice to see so much helpful input given and received. enjoyed the poem and the process muchly Sue ·············· Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. MM Award Winner

Blank_Canvas View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 7 05, 02:21 Post #14
Greek Group: Gold Member Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose	Thanks, Lori. More good advice to ponder.....~smile~ Marcia ·············· "...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner

Blank_Canvas View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 7 05, 02:24 Post #15
Greek Group: Gold Member Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose	Thanks, Sue. So glad you stopped by and decided to comment. This has been fun. Glad you are enjoying the process of building this poem as much as the poem itself. ~smile~ Marcia ·············· "...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner

jgdittier View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 7 05, 10:21 Post #16
Creative Chieftain Group: Platinum Member Posts: 1,802 Joined: 24-April 04 From: Connecticut Member No.: 58 Real Name: Ron Jones Writer of: Poetry	Dear Marcia, I'm always overjoyed when one of mine gets this much attention. I'm awaiting your repost! Nicely done! Cheers Ron jgd ps-Absolutely great title! ·············· Ron Jones MM Award Winner

Blank_Canvas View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 8 05, 16:50 Post #17
Greek Group: Gold Member Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose	Ron, I don't normally repost. I edit the original as needed. Marcia ·············· "...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner

Guest_Don_*	Oct 11 05, 11:29 Post #18
Guest	Great kickoff for Halloween. Technically, all the spooks are not night creatures. However, like the movies the scene is important. Enjoyed your work. Don

Blank_Canvas View Member Profile Find Member's Posts	Oct 16 05, 12:05 Post #19
Greek Group: Gold Member Posts: 624 Joined: 6-August 03 From: Texas Member No.: 15 Real Name: Marcia Writer of: Poetry & Prose	Don, You are right, of course. ( although to be honest, I hadn't considered it. ) I probably will leave it be. I am glad you came by and shared your observations. All comments are appreciated. Marcia ·············· "...We are born into the world like a blank canvas and every person that crosses our path takes up the brush and makes their mark upon our surface. So it is that we develop. But we must realize there comes a day that we must take up the brush and finish the work. For only we can determine if we are to be just another painting or a masterpiece..." 1981 Javan (from the book " Meet Me Halfway" ) MM Award Winner

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