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JustDaniel
post Apr 18 05, 05:18
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Quatern, Latin for “four at a time,” is a 16-line French poetic form of four quatrains. Each line contains eight syllables, which may or may not have a metrical pattern.  There is also no requirement of rhyme (usually there being none), but there must be one descending refrain:

L1 of the first quatrain becomes L2 of the second, L3 of the third, and L4 of the final quatrain.

Example (repeated line in bold, merely for illustration):

I'm Nurtured

I'm nurtured by the idea of you,
Suckled at the breast of dawning,
Consumed by omnipresent morning,
Savored by your passion fruit.

Timeless links that unchain memories,
I'm nurtured by the idea of you;
Eternally humbled by your presence,
Siderial, endless passion-moments.

Vessels sail around the tempests,
souls present a compassed rudder;
I'm nurtured by the idea of you,
As winds direct our passion-sails.

Entwined by cords that won't untie.
Bound by ties like forget-me knots,
Savored eternally, souls entwined,
I'm nurtured by the idea of you.

© Norman S. Pollack

... and the only quatern thus far from my own repertoire:

New Wise

I want to see Your eyes, not mine
as I stand here to start each day
before the mirror, ere I dine…
ne’er speak a word before I pray.

Instead of blindly forging forth,
I want to see.  Your eyes — not mine —
will let me find in others, worth
beneath malignity, benign.

I need Your heart to realign
my thinking, feeling.  Reaching out,
I want to see… Your eyes, not mine.
I’ve viewed the world through fear and doubt.

With this new sight, I’ll close my eyes,
to rest in awe of Your design,
then sleep in peace.  It’s no surprise
I want to see Your eyes… not mine.

© Daniel J Ricketts 17 April 2005






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JustDaniel
post Apr 18 05, 05:34
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This was my first attempt at a quatern... only to discover that it had two syllables too many in each line, alas:

Qua Turnabout
(a 10-syllable variation of a quatern)

Today I wake up wondering who I am
or why on earth I made it through the night
and if I hadn’t, who would give a damn,
or if they do, they’re glad I’m out of sight.

Who is this guy I find inside my skin
today?  I wake up wondering who I am…
who wasn’t there last night.  Who are his kin?
Is it charades?  Is this some kind of scam?

I went to sleep as happy as a clam,
content in love with family and friends;
today I wake up wondering who I am
and whether life has any dividends.

This can’t be real,  I say, so now I check
my correspondence.  Everything is spam!
Just yesterday, a fifty-two-card deck;
today I wake up wondering who I am.

© MLee Dickens’son 16 April 2005






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AMETHYST
post Apr 18 05, 21:33
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Daniel,

This makes much more sense. The params that my instructor gave didn't sound all that complete. No wonder why. The refrain changes stanza by stanza. Thank you for clearing this up, Daniel.

I will be back with another try at this using the proper params!

Best To you, Liz


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Cleo_Serapis
post Apr 19 05, 05:13
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Hi Daniel. wave.gif

Thanks so much for posting this form!

I have removed your first two examples, A Withered Leaf by Suzanne Honour 2002 and I'm Nurtured by Norman S. Pollack as we at Mosaic Musings need written permission to post non-member works.

If you can contact these two poets on our behalf, that would be great!

Thanks so much!
~ Cleo  Pharoah.gif






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JustDaniel
post Apr 19 05, 07:53
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ April 18 2005, 22:33)
This makes much more sense. The params that my instructor gave didn't sound all that complete. No wonder why. The refrain changes stanza by stanza. Thank you for clearing this up, Daniel.

[ I can understand the confusion, believe me!  I wish I'd had the opportunity to learn poetry in some classroom.  I really want to do that some day -- though you know that I may have a few disagreements with the instructor  oops.gif -- but for now, I just stumble along.  I introduced Geller's evidently inadequate description of a ballad in a local group a couple of weeks ago, and whew!  what a heated discussion ... but it ended up being a good learning experience.  I was relying on his description, which evidently is a bit narrow.  Hey, what did I know?  Speechless.gif ]

I will be back with another try at this using the proper params!

[ Your piece in the crit forum is clearly in the SPIRIT of a quatern, and I really love the way that it turned out, quite honestly.  I think we can take some of the features of a form and create a work of our own, simply utilizing something that makes it stand out or draw attention to a part of our message.  But however we use a form, it is the JOURNEY that is the joy often more than the destination.

Best To you, Liz

My best back to you,
tryin' to stay in the Light, Daniel  sun.gif


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JustDaniel
post Apr 19 05, 07:59
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QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ April 19 2005, 06:13)
Hi Daniel. wave.gif

Thanks so much for posting this form!

Greetings, Lori... and you're welcome.

I have removed your first two examples, A Withered Leaf by Suzanne Honour 2002 and I'm Nurtured by Norman S. Pollack as we at Mosaic Musings need written permission to post non-member works.

If you can contact these two poets on our behalf, that would be great!

Thank you for your carefulness.  I'm sorry I jumped the gun.  I've written to both of them.  You now have the consent from Norm, so I'll repost his poem. There was an email problem with Suzanne's so I've posted a private request within her site, and I'm awaiting a response.

Thanks so much!
~ Cleo  Pharoah.gif

appreciating your carefulness...
seeking the Light, Daniel  sun.gif


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Cleo_Serapis
post Apr 19 05, 18:54
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Thanks Daniel.

I did receive your message and an email from Norm as well.

I look forward to trying this form soon! grinning.gif

Cheers1
~Cleo :pharoah2


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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Guest_Toumai_*
post Apr 20 05, 01:21
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Hi Daniel,

Thanks for the illustrations here  :cheer:

I love particularly love the stanza:

I need Your heart to realign
my thinking, feeling.  Reaching out,
I want to see… Your eyes, not mine.
I’ve viewed the world through fear and doubt.


In Norman Pollacks poem does his repeat

I'm nurtured by the idea of you

in fact have NINE syllables? Or is it just too early in the morning for me to count straight?  :speechless:

I quite agree with you that if a form merely starts a poem idea, and then it takes off and flies, that is a wonderful thing. dove.gif

Fran
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Apr 20 05, 05:13
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Hi Daniel.

Yes - I wonder if the eight syllables is set throughout the quaterns?

I'm counting Norm's example and I see many lines that are not 8..

I'm nurtured by the idea of you,     9
Suckled at the breast of dawning,  8
Consumed by omnipresent morning,   9
Savored by your passion fruit.   7

Timeless links that unchain memories,   9
I'm nurtured by the idea of you;   9
Eternally humbled by your presence,  9
Siderial, endless passion-moments.  10

Vessels sail around the tempests,    8
souls present a compassed rudder;  8
I'm nurtured by the idea of you,   9
As winds direct our passion-sails.   8

Entwined by cords that won't untie.   8
Bound by ties like forget-me knots,   8
Savored eternally, souls entwined,  8
I'm nurtured by the idea of you.  9

Do you count these lines the same?

Lori
laugh.gif


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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JustDaniel
post Apr 20 05, 06:05
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Fran and Lori:

I still haven't gotten word back for permission to post the more clear examples of quatern, so I'm disappointed.  I hope that corrects itself soon.

So far as I know the eight syllables is indeed a 'requirement' of the form, though I still have not found what I consider to be an adequate discussion of the origin and history of the form.

Re Norm's piece, I'm guessing that he's reading 'the idea of you' as though it's "the eye dee yuv you" to squeeze it into 8 syllables.  Of course, you're correct in your count of 9 otherwise.

The lines with "passion" in them have no reasonable explanation, since if you make that word to sound with three syllables in one line to make it sound like 8 syllables, you end up with 11 in the other!

It's a good example of the use of the repeating line, but not of the metrical flow.  As Fran indicates, however, it turns out to be an effective medium for communicating the emotion that it contains.

Hoping to see both of you create one of these soon.  I'm betting we could post one of yours AS and example soon!  How would that be?

deLighting in your carefulness, Daniel  :sun:


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AMETHYST
post Apr 26 05, 18:08
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I've got a little crush on him,
the one who winks behind my screen
and often speaks in sonnetry
of love and God and other things.

He's sauve and charming, quite a catch-
I've got a little crush on him
for just about a year or two
it feels just like forever more.

A handsome, man of Godliness
the kind that's rare to find...but oh
I've got a little crush on him
and wish each day he could be mine.

And yet, he's strong, holds to those vows
he spoke so long ago, who knows...
what he might do for if he knew
I've got a little crush on him.


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JustDaniel
post Apr 27 05, 10:41
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Ah, Liz...

I think this is an excellent use of the form, a masterful piece in my limited view! ... and in pretty darned good iambic tetrameter blank verse to boot!

Brava!

I REALLY should have been doing paper work when I wrote this, but the thoughts kind of jumped out of my brain when I read this today for the third and fourth time.  I just HAD to comment, and since it's fine to offer a riposte in this forum... and in fact, it's encouraged... here goes:


Some Things We Write

Some things we write reveal too much
about ourselves or someone who
is real or just a figment… such
imagination!  Ballyhoo…

erupts in fertile minds about
some things we write.  Reveal too much,
and rumors whisper, banter, shout
from rooftops, ‘til we want to clutch

our throat or theirs ‘bout some nonesuch
who is or isn’t in our life;
some things we write reveal too much,
could roust a husband or a wife!

I’ve been an addict, lover, drunk,
a salesman, peg-leg with a crutch;
if they’d been real, I would be sunk.
Some things we write reveal too much.


© Daniel J Ricketts 27 April 2005






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JustDaniel
post Aug 20 05, 16:20
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Reflecting on Your Eyes

I want to see Your eyes . . . not mine,
as I stand here to start each day
before the mirror ere I dine . . .
ne’er speak a word before I pray.

Instead of blindly plunging forth,
I want to see Your eyes  — not mine
— will make me find in others, worth
beneath malignancy . . . benign.

I need Your heart . . .  to realign
my thinking, feeling . . . reaching out,
I want to see your eyes — not mine;
I’ve viewed too much through fear and doubt.

Each night, then, as I close my eyes,
I’ll rest in awe of Your design,
then sleep in peace.  It’s no surprise
I want to see Your eyes . . . not mine.

© Chaplain (LTC) Daniel J Ricketts 20 August 2005


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Cleo_Serapis
post Aug 20 05, 16:47
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Hi Daniel

This is a wonderful piece! I had forgotten that you posted this interesting form! angel.gif

The refrain in each stanza you choose to write is beautiful. It almost reads`as a Psalm.  sun.gif

May I use this poem in our poetic glossary that I am working on please?  :king:

Touched,
Lori  cloud9.gif






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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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Cleo_Serapis
post Aug 20 05, 18:06
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On Your Way

I’m saddened you went on your way
to travel to a dwelling where
no more a puzzle; heart’s held sway;
you’ll join your loved ones waiting there.

Instead of being mad at Him
I’m saddened you went on your way,
through valleys formed in divine trim;
you’ve left these woods  a soul bouquet.

When I go limping through the days
with thoughts of you, I’ll shed a tear…
I’m saddened you went on your way,
directions mapped with tender prayer.

The contours of your gentle smile…
The mounds of things I’d hope to say
The words you’ve left; a friend worthwhile…
I’m saddened you went on your way.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 20 Aug 2005


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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AMETHYST
post Aug 21 05, 20:48
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Hi Lori,

This is beautiful. The sentiments and meanings are more divine than I could express. The form, compliments the intent and Larry would be both proud and elated to read this, knowing it is the loving heart felt warmth of true friendship that binds each line. I wouldn't change a word.

With love, Liz


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JustDaniel
post Aug 21 05, 22:17
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QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Aug. 20 2005, 17:47)
Hi Daniel

This is a wonderful piece! I had forgotten that you posted this interesting form! angel.gif

The refrain in each stanza you choose to write is beautiful. It almost reads`as a Psalm.  sun.gif

May I use this poem in our poetic glossary that I am working on please?  king.gif

Touched,
Lori  cloud9.gif

Thank you very much, Lori!

You certainly may use it there...

and Mary just selected this piece for the next copy of Illuminations.

deLightingly, Daniel  :sun:


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JustDaniel
post Aug 21 05, 22:29
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QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Aug. 20 2005, 19:06)
On Your Way

I’m saddened you went on your way
to travel to a dwelling where
no more a puzzle; heart’s held sway;
you’ll join your loved ones waiting there.

Instead of being mad at Him
I’m saddened you went on your way,
through valleys formed in divine trim;
you’ve left these woods  a soul bouquet.

When I go limping through the days
with thoughts of you, I’ll shed a tear…
I’m saddened you went on your way,
directions mapped with tender prayer.

The contours of your gentle smile…
The mounds of things I’d hope to say
The words you’ve left; a friend worthwhile…
I’m saddened you went on your way.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 20 Aug 2005

Lori...

you could not do greater justice to this form in general nor to Larry in particular.

The form fits your message simply beautifully, and Larry fits it movingly accurately.

Thank you so much for capturing so many of our feelings in these precious  words.

Love in Light, Daniel  sun.gif






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Cleo_Serapis
post Aug 22 05, 05:37
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Aug. 21 2005, 21:48)
Hi Lori,

This is beautiful. The sentiments and meanings are more divine than I could express. The form, compliments the intent and Larry would be both proud and elated to read this, knowing it is the loving heart felt warmth of true friendship that binds each line. I wouldn't change a word.

With love, Liz

Thanks so much Liz!  :lovie:

Your words mean a great deal to me.  :sings:

HUGS
Lori  :sun:


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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Cleo_Serapis
post Aug 22 05, 05:38
Post #20


Mosaic Master
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Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Aug. 21 2005, 23:17)
QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Aug. 20 2005, 17:47)
Hi Daniel

This is a wonderful piece! I had forgotten that you posted this interesting form! angel.gif

The refrain in each stanza you choose to write is beautiful. It almost reads`as a Psalm.  sun.gif

May I use this poem in our poetic glossary that I am working on please?  king.gif

Touched,
Lori  cloud9.gif

Thank you very much, Lori!

You certainly may use it there...

and Mary just selected this piece for the next copy of Illuminations.

deLightingly, Daniel  sun.gif

Thanks very much Daniel! sun.gif

Congrats on this piece for being selected too!  :dance:

Cheers!
~Cleo  :pharoah2


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

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