EMPRESS, English Cameo Revision ~ Thanks Lori & Judi! Options

[Lady Poet]

***********Removed by author***********

[4rum]

Morning Pami;

Bold statement. I think I might have used unequivocally, but that may not be what you are going for. Very good closure. I like that it portrays you as unpretentious.

I'll have to look up the form ... English Cameo? I'm not familiar with it.

Sam

[Lady Poet]

Hey Sam!

Thanks for catching my boo boo, you're the first!

I learned this form in an English poetry class on another site. Then we workshopped what we learned. I received high accolades for this, which was a wonderful feeling. Funny thing. I can't find any references on it on the web so far. The lady I learned it from is away sick, but I'll get the info for you (and me) soon.

Have a great weekend!

Pami

[4rum]

Hi Pami;

To me, now, it is just a very well written poem. I'm sure that once I find the form that I will have a MUCH greater appreciation for your discipline in writing to it. I will have to try to write a poem using that form. I don't ever grasp the full impact of honoring a form until I try it.

Anyway... loved it and certainly understand why it was recieved so well.

sam

I'm back WOO-HOO... found this much: ENGLISH CONVENTIONAL CAMEOS ARE WRITTEN IN 2/5/8/3/7/2 SYLLABLES.

Going to look for more...................

[Lady Poet]

Hi Sam

Hmm. Interesting. That would make mine a failure in that my syllabic count does not quite match. I sent an inquiry to my teacher and I'm sure I'll hear something soon. I will keep you
posted, perhaps there are too syles?

How did you find this one. I would love to browse if it's on the web...

Have you found more yet....?

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Pami,

The PP (punctuation police) are thinking, uh-oh, mind the commas, caps and endstops.

I’ve never heard of or seen this form before, do you mind if I post this in Karnak with your poem as the example once I understand all the parameters of it? Does it only contain a syllable count of 2/5/8/3/7/2 (6 lines total) and no rhyme scheme requirements? Can the 1st & last line be the same word? Can you please post here what those params are as I cannot find anything on this form through my searching?

If Sam’s params are correct, then you have one extra beat and one extra line here as your poem is: 2/5/8/3/8/5/2, so it appears that you wander off form in L5 with an extra beat and then L6 is not part of form’s params?

I need to understand the params before I can offer you a thorough critique, but I will say that the comma in L1 should go and you should cap L3 and uncap L5. Looking forward to your return!

~Cleo

[Judi]

Here is something I googled about CAMEOS (they DO exist!!!!!)


The poetry CAMEO (pronounced cam-ee-oh) is a seven line fixed form
of varying syllabic length
______________________________________________________________

Stanzas: 1
Stanza type: Septet
Lines: 7
Accents: Varies
Syllables: Alternates between 2,3,5, 7 and 8 per line
Rhyme: None
Pattern:
XX
XXXXX
XXXXXXXX
XXX
XXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XX

EXAMPLE OF A CAMEO
Garbage
Rank and odorous
Seeping foul liquids through its bag
Disgusting
Infested with bacteria
I think I'll empty the can
today.

I hope this helps so others can also join Pami in this great form...Judi

[Cleo_Serapis]

Excellent - I googled too, Judi, but didn't have much luck - I tried : English Cameo poetic form ? Glad you found it - thanks!

So it has no rhyme scheme and goes by syllables: 2/5/8/3/8/7/2

I'll be back once Pami sees your reply.
Cheers
~Cleo

[Cleo_Serapis]

OK, I'm back Pami with Judi's params for you. I like this poem as it demonstrates a confidence of being you and an acceptance of who you are.

I have a few suggestions below for you to ponder as you wish.

Ehjoyed!
~Cleo


2/5/8/3/8/7/2

I am, (no comma needed)
Empress of my world.
unequivocally, I am (change to Capital U)
~supremely~ (delete the tildas and add a comma)
In all the universes known, (change to lowercase I, add comma after known)
~just me all in all~ (delete the tildas and add two syls: suggestion:
just for being me; as is… )
I am.

If you were to adopt the suggestions, it would look like this:
2/5/8/3/8/7/2

I am
Empress of my world.
Unequivocally, I am
supremely,
in all the universes known,
just for being me; as is…
I am.

[Judi]

Here is the web address where I got my info. They also have definitions for many other types of poetry that could be investigated.

http://books.google.com/books?id=CrmQIYjzs...p;cd=1#PPA48,M1

[4rum]

Here is the web address where I got my info. They also have definitions for many other types of poetry that could be investigated.

http://books.google.com/books?id=CrmQIYjzs...p;cd=1#PPA48,M1

Thanks for that link... the reference I had found was very sparse and not too reliable. I think you've found a good source with which to research this form. I had not seen it before either.

blessings
sam

[Lady Poet]

SUPER Lori!

You found the right formula! So I was taught the right form. Thank YOU!!! I was worried for a minute. LOL. Where did you find it? I googled and key worded for 30 minutes and could never find anything other than cameo glass. I will make the changes for sure...originally I had it that way, but then I got "artsy" but since everyone just looooooves their punks here I'll replace them. LOL.

Judi dear,

Thanks for all your help I'm snagging that link and adding it to my resources! Now we're cooking!

Hugs! Pami