Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Larry]

Daniel, if we are going to critique, you are short a beat in L1 above.



You can stop your progression downhill
by applying a brake to the wheel
but if brake-pads are worn,
your posterior’s torn
and I’m sure that your screaming is shrill.

[JustDaniel]

If you SEE that they NEver obEY
and they WANT to do THINGS their own WAY
just say, “GO ahead, TRY
but when FAILing, don’t CRY”!
Be aWARE of the PRICE you might PAY.


Though I'm sure that your screaming's not shrill,
I do hope you can swallow a pill,
'cause you see you were wrong...
now stand there in your thong
while I glower and whip you at will!

[Larry]

Daniel,
I don’t know why you are quoting “my” entry #2721 as being metrically correct when I am referring to “your” entry #2740 (see below) which was directly above my last entry #2741:

Your missus said you kissed the grill (Like I said, short one beat! Add “if” or “when” to the front?)
yesterday; you were having a chill?
Bet that charred your old lips;
hope the ER equips
you to stop your progression downhill.


If you whip me at will, glowering;
it will not make your Limerick sing
for ”Line one is still short!”,
I derisively snort,
and it won’t help you win any bling.

[JustDaniel]

Now my face is so red that it stings!
But you still are not right about bling.
There's no need for an if
or a when for our tiff.
It's the EMphasis makes lim'ricks sing.


(For example, it would be equally correct for my limerick above to begin with or without the "Now". It would still have three EMPHASES in the long lines and two in the short lines. Limericks have a lot of leeway, so long as there are three, three, two, two, three EMPHASES.)

[Larry]

Lim’ricks sing with the right emphasis
but the metrics are sometimes amiss;
dactylics could be used
but I’m somewhat bemused
with iambic pentameter’s gist.

[JustDaniel]

Iambic Pentameter's gist
in a Lim'rick would surely be hissed.
In IP you can't jig;
it's a different gig.
Dance a two-step, and you won't be dissed.

[Larry]

Dance a two-step and you won’t be dissed
like you were long ago with the Twist;
just don’t step on her toes
or the girl that you chose
will most likely refuse to be kissed.

[JustDaniel]

Did your Lily refuse to be kissed?
Go try Sally; perhaps she has missed
having you on her arm.
It won't do any harm
since she's low on your prospective list.

[Larry]

On your prospective list she’s low since
her high maintenance is an expense
that you’d rather not shoulder
because you are older
and she’s is quite young but real dense.

[JustDaniel]

She's attractive and young, but she's dense
and seems totally lacking good sense.
If she didn't, then how'd
I be part of her crowd?
I'd best leave and avoid the pretense.

[Larry]

You might leave and avoid the pretense
but I’d go because she makes me wince
with her bright red lipstick
that she thinks is real slick
when she smears it on unwary gents.

[JustDaniel]

When the gents whom she smears walk away
it confuses her; ain't there some way
we could help the poor girl,
or she may simply curl
up and die and be found far away.

[Larry]

If you die far away and are found
to have left all your bones on the ground
some may say that you litter
but you fed the critter
when all of your innards were downed.

[JustDaniel]

When all of your innards were drowned
by that smoothie they shivered and frowned
at your choices of food;
look at you when you're nude!
Turn your eyes 'til you're properly gowned.

[Larry]

If you’re properly gowned, turn your eyes
to the mirror; it’s no big surprise
that your reflection shows
you have on the wrong clothes
which may lead to your fashion demise.

[JustDaniel]

I cannot have a fashion demise,
since I always have dressed otherwise.
If our fashion depends
on my means and ends
it will shrivel and blow to the skies.

[Larry]

If it shrivels and blows to the sky
you’re unmanned without an alibi
so for sex to proceed
an appointment you’ll need
with that Doc Add-a-dick-to-me guy.

[JustDaniel]

If that old appendectomy guy
comes to carve on you right near your fly
you should give him a kick
and hold on to your dick
lest you lose it without a goodbye.

[Larry]

If you lose it without a goodbye
then you’ll quickly become thin of thigh
so your diet is working
and you are not shirking
with cookies and ice cream or pie.

[JustDaniel]

Eat your cookies with ice cream and pie
and your mirror will sicken your eye
when it sees all your fat:
O my gosh, what is that?!
Can a blimp that's so big really fly?