Miracle Marauders **, revisiting an old poem Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hello - just a tidbit - this was penned from a Times Ten challenge back in May, 2008. The ten words are: lecture, earth, tight, escape, dawn, truth, miracle, fearless, home, hollow. They need not stay if your critique spots something you'd like to mention.


Miracle Marauders


Hapless Hollow beckons,
home to miracle marauders
lecturing escape
as a new dawn emerges.

Fearless flimflam scams
conveniently covet truth,
exposed by undetected
alien encounters.

Could they be feuding
factions of a tightened Earth?

Unlikely.

If only mankind’s naiveté
could be critiqued, packaged,
published and sold universally;

I should think we’d be first
on the galaxy’s guide
of the top ten places to infest.

Likely.

It’s not always paramount
to be number one. . .

In fact, I think I’ll board
the next UFO to anywhere
but here.

If only.


Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter

[Eisa]

Hi Lori

I seemed to have missed this one last night. I am so pleased to see you posting again and I don't remember this one so it is a new read for me.

A small point for your consideration.

I wonder if the italics in between the stanzas are necessary Likely- Unlikely -If Only. I think you are getting your story across quite clearly without them. Others might think differently though.

I have so enjoyed reading your work again - hope to see more soon.

Snow

[JustDaniel]

Do your really want to escape now that a new dawn has emerged, Lori?

Schtick around for a while!!

deLighting in reading you again, as this one is new to me too, Daniel

[Psyche]

Dear Lori,

So pleased to find you posting again! This one is new to me, as well. Perhaps I'll also dig up some oldie oldies that nobody remembers...LOL...

I'm not sure that I understand the first part -dim me! Why are they 'Miracle Marauders'? What sort of miracles are they seeking, especially on planet earth?

In S2, what does 'flimflam' mean? I found it in the dictionary, but don't grasp who is swindling who Would love you to help me out!

After that, it runs smoothly for me. Italics are a matter of choice, but I agree with Snow that they may not be necessary in this instance. They're handy if you use dialogue and now that I come to think of it, perhaps they're useful to infer inner thoughts. ToT !!

I should think we’d be first
on the galaxy’s guide
of the top ten places to infest.

This makes me laugh, very good IMO. Again, are the Miracle Marauders seeking miracles, or are they themselves miraculous?
I take them to be aliens, but is 'alien' and 'miraculous' compatible? I lean towards thinking that there must be life out there in other galaxies; I guess the movie Aliens -and others- made that name popular. But this is a deep question, not to be analyzed here.

Grand finale, Lori! I often feel that way myself...LOL...May I hop on the same UFO?! But let's tarry awhile, as Daniel says, as some new dawns have emerged...possibly

Hugs,
Syl***

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Snow,

Thanks for visiting my topic! Thank you, while it's not a newly written poem (haven't done that in ages), I thought I would repost for comments. It is from 2008, lol.

I understand your suggestion to remove the italics, I will ponder that further. Sylvia got it in that I was trying to show an inner thought with them - or at least a way to differentiate the narrator's thoughts.

I am glad you enjoyed reading my work again, YAY!

Thanks for stopping by!
~Cleo

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hello Daniel,

LOL - do I really want to escape now that a new dawn has emerged? That all depends on the topic and place!

Oh, I've always been here, just been quiet!

Thanks for your visit! Any thoughts on changes to this poem?

~Cleo

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Sylvia,

Glad you stopped in! Yes, please DO dig up some oldie oldies to re-post.

Why are they 'Miracle Marauders'? What sort of miracles are they seeking, especially on planet earth?

I meant that to mean that the plunderers are viewed as being miraculous - as if they are gods sent for a higher purpose. I always think that myself - if we were ever visited by an alien race, wouldn't most humans assume that these aliens are more intelligent? Capable of creating 'miracles'? The miracle they seek is our being a bit naive to their true intentions.

Flimflam in this context is meant as the aliens swindling the human race. A flimflam scam - a clever manipulation/deception to have us believing they are genuine in their actions - expoiting us as they are truly a FRAUD.

Yes, I replied to Snow telling her that the Italics are meant to separate external thought from internal thought. If you read the poem again without them - it still flows, but with them, does it capture your thoughts the same way?

I should think we’d be first
on the galaxy’s guide
of the top ten places to infest.
This makes me laugh, very good IMO. Again, are the Miracle Marauders seeking miracles, or are they themselves miraculous? I take them to be aliens, but is 'alien' and 'miraculous' compatible? I lean towards thinking that there must be life out there in other galaxies; I guess the movie Aliens -and others- made that name popular. But this is a deep question, not to be analyzed here.

It up to you to decide. They are seeking our acceptance. Is it miraculous? Maybe they are not aliens from another planet at all?

LOL! I don't plan on boarding any alien ship anytime soon - lest we might be a recipe for the aliens. Remember that old Twilight Zone episode, "To Serve Man"? Luv it!

Cheers,
~Cleo

[Arnfinn]

G'day Lori


Hmmm...The disappearing act

Stop the world I want to get off!

Why not hide under a blanket like our Lily (cat).

A good read.

Hope all is well.

Regards,

John

[Cleo_Serapis]

Why hello mate! (That's YOU JOhn)! ->>>

How are you? I am heading on a plane in less than 10 hours now to visit my old friends Mickey & Minnie too!

YUP - stop the world - I need a diversion! Outerspace might be the ticket! Ha!!! Maybe Lily can go too!

I am well - and how are you? I shall be back to the forum this weekend since I will only have my cell - no laptop this trip.

I see ya posted something new too! WIll check it out!

Cheers,
~Cleo