Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

IPB
 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> My Uncle Jim
Guest_ohsteve_*
post Oct 16 10, 06:53
Post #1





Guest






My Uncle Jim

I didn't want to see him lieing there,
dressed in his best suit. He didn't dress
like that I said. He wore jeans and plaid shirts
that smelled of old spice and licorice.

I cried when I finally was forced up
on the predeu, he had these spots and no one
would tell me they were from the disease.
I thought he was in the process of shedding skin.

I cried again when they took him from the room,
where are they going? I asked quietly.
To the grave yard; I thought that must be like
a prison, or a dump for lost uncles. I miss him still.
 
+Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Eisa
post Oct 17 10, 15:05
Post #2


Mosaic Master
Group Icon

Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Hi Steve

This is so touching - seen through the eyes of a child.

I think adults try and protect children by not telling them certain things, when they are less frightened if they know the truth. Children have such vivid imaginations!


I didn't want to see him lieing there,
dressed in his best suit. He didn't dress
like that I said. He wore jeans and plaid shirts
that smelled of old spice and licorice.

one query in L1 - should it be lying?

I cried when I finally was forced up
on the predeu, he had these spots and no one
would tell me they were from the disease.
I thought he was in the process of shedding skin.

A sweet, amusing thought!

I cried again when they took him from the room,
where are they going? I asked quietly.
To the grave yard; I thought that must be like
a prison, or a dump for lost uncles. I miss him still.

Very toughing ending - I miss him still.

I really like this one Steve
Eira


·······IPB·······

Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal.
Write from the heart - it's therapeutic.
Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin!

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
+Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Peterpan
post Oct 21 10, 15:54
Post #3


Creative Chieftain
*****

Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,621
Joined: 18-August 05
From: Johannesburg, South Africa
Member No.: 127
Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Jox



Oh gosh, Steve - this is a tough one.
I loved your imagery tho', very real.

Thanks for sharing it even if it still hurts.


·······IPB·······

May the angels guide your light.

MM Award Winner
 
+Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Guest_ohsteve_*
post Oct 21 10, 19:44
Post #4





Guest






Eira, It very well could be lying...My spell check in my brain is out of order, parts to fix it won't come in until the next generation. LOL. Yes children should be told as much as they wish to know, I still to this day don't like funerals because of this, and now all I can really remember of him is him in that coffin, with the big black ugly cancer spots.
Bev. thanks for reading.

Take care
Steve
 
+Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Reply to this topicStart new topic

 

RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 28th March 2024 - 03:25




Read our FLYERS - click below



Reference links provided to aid in fine-tuning your writings. ENJOY!

more Quotes
more Art Quotes
Dictionary.com ~ Thesaurus.com

Search:
for
Type in a word below to find its rhymes, synonyms, and more:

Word: