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Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 3 10, 18:32

Hi all,

Based on the other two Robert Frost challenges here in Karnak, I'll throw a third into the mix.

From Robert Frost's poem, Acquainted with the Night below, use the same last word from each line in the poem at the end of each line in your response. The words are: night, rain, light, lane, beat, explain, feet, cry, street, good-bye, height, sky, right, night.

Good luck!
~Cleo

Posted by: ohsteve Feb 3 10, 22:06

Hi Lori here is my reply.

I am a Friend in the Night

I am a friend in the night
when the moon is hidden by the rain.
Shadows become darker without its light,
but stars turn alleys into a lane,
and the rain, it has a steady beat,
a rhythm I find hard to explain.

Heavy is the burden placed upon my feet,
to carry me out and back without cry.
up and down that lovely street,
until I'm ready for my good-bye.

Oh, what heights we'll hit, when we hit the heights,
we'll run 'till the stars become a stream of milk in the sky.
I know now that all will be all right
because I am a friend in the night.


RF's rhyme words.
night, rain, light, lane, beat, explain, feet, cry, street, good-bye, height, sky, right, night.

3 Feb 2010
© Steve Pray

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 4 10, 06:34

Well done, Steve!

Now the race is ON to see who will respond next...

Enjoyed the read!
~Cleo

Posted by: Larry Feb 4 10, 16:46

Hi Lori and Well Done Steve,

These are such fun! Here's mine in the same sonnet form. Hope you enjoy.

Stars

They pierce the velvet curtain of the night
then fall on eyes; illuminated rain
to wash the shadowed soul. Share subtle light

where darkness dwells beside the forest lane.
Strobe softly like the syncopating beat
of creatures’ calls, all trying to explain

the mystery. A trek on silent feet
between the silvered branches. Tears I cry,
for blinding fetters fall to dream-strewn street.

Quicksilver shafts fade swiftly, no good-bye;
replenished in each moment from a height
of centuries. They decorate the sky

while never knowing how they make things right
with fiery faces smiling down each night.


Larry

Posted by: ohsteve Feb 4 10, 19:58

Larry, well done to you also. I almost wan't going to reply to this, then stared at it for a while and said ok why not...lol. Lori, I think Birches should be the next one to follow, as that is my third Frost poem, I don't ever remember reading this one before...strange. I will see if I can come up with a follow on.

Steve

Posted by: Merlin Feb 4 10, 21:41

Applause to both entries.

I'm sure you're all anxious to know this >>
the form is a 14 line terza rima. RF added his own unique touch.

Straight outa Wicki,

There's lots more reading available thar.


I'll consult with Trebor to see if we can spin anything off as well.

Merlin

Posted by: Larry Feb 13 10, 18:28

Once more into the fray of frosty bobs.

Alone

Though some exist as if it’s always night,
while others seem to wither in life’s rain,
bemused and lost; souls blackened without light.

I’ve watched them walking down that lonely lane
of solitude. It’s though they had been beat
before the game was played. I can’t explain

why they’re so down while standing on their feet.
If thoughts were spent to recognize their cry
of anguish, guide them from that dead-end street

where there is no hello; only good-bye.
Help heart and soul escape that lowly height
to sunlit day beneath an azure sky.

A friend, some hope of future is their right
instead of disappearing into night.


Merlin, thanks for the clarification of the form. The Wiki and Dante hints were great reads also.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 23 10, 18:16

FANTABULOUS response Larry!

I could really relate to the words you chose - I've been down this street! Luckily, I'm no longer alone and definitely don't feel in the dark.

This is inspiring! Perhaps I'll give this one a go!

Enjoyed the read,
~Cleo

Posted by: Larry Feb 26 10, 09:12

Hi Lori,

I'm glad for you and the light that guided you from that lonely street. There was a duality of meaning in my offering (physical and mental). Hope you caught them both. Thank you for the praise and yes, you should give it a try. They're nearly as addictive as limericks.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 26 10, 13:04

Thanks Larry,

Ok, here's goes (still need title - suggestions welcome)!


A Wakening


In districts dimly lit it’s always night
where troubled ones cannot see through the rain
and fight to find that flicker we call 'light'.

Specters enlist the weak on 'luring lane'
priming their craft with those already beat.
These acts, often unnoticed, don’t explain

the cruel and unjust faltering of feet
on paths that yield a warning, no; a cry
for help. Can someone save them from that street?

It comes from deep within; let’s say good-bye
to fragments of ourselves. We’ll scale that height
and rise above to see a sapphire sky.

It starts today! Conquer those wrongs and right
the past; a dawning comes from fettered night.


Copyright © Lorraine M. Kanter 26 Feb 2010

Posted by: Larry Feb 26 10, 14:58

Well Hello There Lori,

Glad you finally added to the thread with one of your own. I know this is not a crit forum but may I make a few suggestions to clean up the meter and punctuation? Please!

S1L1 - In districts, dimly lit...

S3L2 - lose the caps and "no; a cry for help"

There is nothing wrong with your title, just widen it a bit to "A Wakening".

Again, welcome to the fray and excellent job!

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 26 10, 16:05

Thanks Larry! I've made those edits - I may even post for crit. I am working on the other Frost challenge in response to yours but only have the first 2 lines (stuck on L2 as L3 starts with 'and':
Two chosen took a stand in Nether Wood
and each, though wracked with pain, endured x both

ANywho =- might have to change L2 altogether as I'm stuck at it...

HUGS
Lori

Posted by: Larry Feb 26 10, 17:26

Hey Lori,

Try to sub "and" with "though each was wracked with" or " tho' ". First two lines look like an interesting start to another Swords & Sorcerers genre poem. Looking forward to reading it.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 27 10, 07:35

Larry.

If I want to follow your lead however, I'd would need to keep 'and' to start L2. I might go with only using the last words of each line in my response in that thread/challenge to start (first time out ya know). It'll make it easier on me, !

Stay tuned!
~Cleo

Posted by: Larry Jan 1 14, 23:54

Echoes

A New Year’s day that started late last night
was blessed with snow and ice. The freezing rain
made all the fireworks wet and hard to light
so I just strolled down reminisce’s lane

where celebration’s noise and light would beat
against my ears and eyes. I can’t explain
how those vibrations, not a hundred feet
from where I stood, had made me want to cry

with that explosive beauty on my street
My brave but feigned façade just said good-bye.
As spirits soared above the rocket’s height
and spread with them across a starlit sky...

I’ve missed those youthful thrills when all was right
and wish it hadn’t stormed this New Year’s night.

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 3 14, 08:00

What a beautiful response poem, Larry!

Happy New Year!
~Cleo

Posted by: Alan Mar 5 14, 02:13

A RAVE

As I wish one and all a sweet good-night
and so step quickly out to walk in rain
then soon am quite alone, there is no light

I now traverse a simple country lane
and hear a sound, with syncopated beat
that I’m at quite a loss, how to explain

until I see a barn, and dancing feet
a rave - “Hello” I say, and then I cry
“Can I join, this is so ‘right up my street’

I dance, until it’s time to say good-bye
til dawn, the party now well past it’s height
sunlight suffuses all, a huge bright sky

it’s rare to find something that is so right
as this dance rave to brighten up my night

Alan McAlpine Douglas

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Mar 5 14, 06:43

Well done Alan!!!

Enjoyed this very much! Put on my dancing shoes!

~Cleo

Posted by: Alan Mar 5 14, 21:55

Dear Lori,

If you know how to dance, which is more than I do !

Thank you.

Love
Alan

Posted by: JustDaniel Mar 11 14, 19:39

If I could put on dancing shoes, I'd have had exactly the same reaction as Lori, Alan!! Very well done, indeed. A wonderful departure from Frost's poem.

You used all the words, though you took considerable liberty with 'height'... if you care to peek back at it. LOL

deLightingly, Daniel

Posted by: JustDaniel Mar 11 14, 19:46

Good Night

I used to love to ride my bike at night.
In summer I liked strolling in the rain.
I once would run at early morning light.

Five decades back I strode the winning lane --
mile-relay anchor -- all opponents beat.
But now I'm old; there's little to explain.

Neuropathy's affecting both my feet.
Sometimes the pain will make me want to cry;
at times it's even hard to cross the street.

Bid basketball and volleyball goodbye;
arthritis too is lessening my height.
Athletics leave me staring at the sky.

I know the Light, so darkness is all right;
I'm truly now acquainted with the night.

© MLee Dickens'son 2014


Challenge was to use each line's last word from Frost's poem:

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Mar 12 14, 07:32

Well done Daniel!

A bit sad for reality, but does make for an excellent response.

Cheers!
~Cleo

Posted by: Maureen Mar 12 14, 23:41

That's a ripper Daniel - well done - love it and relate to it - sadly

Cheers

Maureen

Posted by: JustDaniel Mar 13 14, 17:07

Thanks much, Lori. Age does trudge right on, ya know!


I appreciate your approbation, Maureen. I'm glad and sad at once that you relate to it!

sLightly hobbled, Daniel

Posted by: Alan Mar 14 14, 02:12

Dear Daniel,

Thank you, what would I do without your eagle-eye ? Can't imagine why I went for peak, as height here means the same.

Love
Alan

Posted by: JustDaniel Mar 14 14, 05:02

Hey, Alan...

my eyes do still pick up little things, but alas the greater problems I have with my eyes (not mentioned in my Good Night above) certainly don't allow them to soar like eagles!

sLightly blurred, Daniel

Posted by: Alan Mar 16 14, 02:05

Dear Daniel,

Well OK, I'll settle for your metaphorical eagle-eye then ! You know, looking back on your Good Night, I somehow never thought of you as an athlete, but that shows my lack of imagination, why ever not ?

Love
Alan

Posted by: JustDaniel Mar 16 14, 12:09

It's been a LONG time since my athleticism, Alan... I had both knees replaced a hundred pounds ago... But when I entered the Army National Guard at age 36, during our Physical Training Test at my first Annual Training, only ONE guy beat me in the 2 mile run! Not bad for a comparatively old man, huh?

When I was a kid (age 11), in my first year playing baseball I became the starting center fielder on a Pee Wee League (12-year-olders), and our third baseman on The Burns Boys was a 9-year-old, Ron Cey, who was to become an All-Star for the Los Angeles Dodgers and Chicago Cubs. I remember a couple of years later we had a scrimmage game with another team from our Boys' Club who were a year older than we. In that game I reached first on an infield hit, then stole second, third and home. The next time up I walked, then again stole second, third and home. The coach of the other team was serving as 'umpire' and called me out at home, even though his catcher missed me by something over a yard. I just got up from my slide, looked at him and laughed. He was furious!! LOL

I was too small to play football on my high school team, but I excelled in the City leagues 'till I was 16. I was captain of our cross-country team during football season and was the anchor man on our mile-relay team that broke the Tacoma (WA) City record by 3.6 seconds. Two years later my future brother-in-law anchored the team that beat our record. I didn't do much in the way of athletic again until I joined the Guard 19 years later!

deLighting in recalling my smaller days, Daniel

Posted by: Alan Mar 16 14, 13:26

Dear Daniel,

Wow. Respect. I am to athletics and football and baseball as a snowball is to hellfire. I played playground soccer after school for a coupla years, and was dragged into rugby cuz that is what the school played, but used my eyesight as an excuse (or maybe not excuse) to escape.

Because I have always been better on the thinking side, I sort of assumed that would be true of you too.

Love
Alan

Posted by: Larry Apr 7 14, 23:13

One Day Year

For six long months there’s nothing but the night
though now, as seasons change, a warming rain
is heralding the days of prolonged light
where one may stroll along a wooded lane

to see the leaves and birds return. The beat
of nature’s heart; I wish I could explain
how soft the new grass feels tickling my feet.
Springtime is here and I could almost cry

with joy as I walk down that emerald street.
I bid the frozen stars a tired good-bye
and wish them well out in their lofty height
for I would rather keep this azure sky.

To have a “one day year” does not seem right
when half of it is spent in endless night.

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 8 14, 07:29

Larry,
What a lovely response.
This just happens to be today's writing prompt at Poetry Super Highway and their page on Facebook. You should definitely post it.
Enjoyed,
Lori

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 8 14, 10:01

Here's my slight tweaking of my response from 2010:

A Wakening

In districts dimly lit it’s always night
where troubled ones seek solace from the rain
hoping to seize a sign of mislaid Light.

Specters ensnare the weak from lumbered lane
priming their craft with those already beat.
These acts, often unnoticed, don’t explain

the cruel and unjust faltering of feet
on paths that yield a warning, no; a cry
for help. Can someone save them from that street?

It comes from deep within; let’s say good-bye
to fragments of ourselves. We’ll scale that height
and rise above to see a sapphire sky.

It starts today! Conquer those wrongs and right
the past; a dawning comes from fettered night.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter

Posted by: Larry Apr 8 14, 23:12

Hi Lori,

Sorry, I can't post my entry on Poetry Super Highway because it has to be posted on the "Facebook" part under comments and one must first log in to their Facebook account before any entry can be made.

You can put it on there if you want to.

Another thing that has started recently is that I seem to be able to write endlessly on one line unless I hit enter
while in the entry box. Is there something changed? When my cursor gets to the left hand side of the page,
the words I type in just keep on going and going and going.

Oh, I did enjoy your rewrite but had to go back to the other one to see the differences.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 9 14, 06:01

Hi Larry,

I love your response and am glad you permitted me to post it for you. So I did! I think I would like to write a new one for Spring as well as you've inspired me.

I know, I can't stand that either! I think it's the version of internet explorer that isn't wrapping text like it used to? Which version are you on? I noticed it about 5 months ago after getting my new laptop. It uses Windows 8 and IE10, now 11. I got so annoyed by it that I use Mozilla Firefox here instead, which wraps text as we like it to. Let me know which version of IE you use. I'm not sure we can fix it as we are on an older version of this forum board's software, which is unsupported. I can send a message to Peter though and see if he can fix things up.

It really drove me batty when I post new challenges, as I copy the previous one and type-over. I simply cannot do that with the endless lines. At least Firefox is like the old way. I recommend that you give that a try. I haven't tried it with Google Chrome - I will do that at work today and post back here.

You should post your poem for crits - it's so lovely!!!!
Cheers,
Lori

Posted by: Larry Apr 9 14, 09:35

Hi Lori,

Thanks for the explanation. I'm using Windows7 and IE11 and am not technologically savvy enough to try other
new programs. I'll just hit "enter" when I get to the right side of the page!

I will post this for crits but with just one (*).

Glad you enjoyed my offering and thanks for putting it on that Facebook page for me. (I'm not a member).

Larry

Posted by: JustDaniel Apr 9 14, 12:07

What is the Poetry Super Highway.

I seem to be driving in the boondocks somewhere!

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 9 14, 14:09

Yeah, I do think its a setting in IE - Internet Exploder as I refer to it. lol!
I'm using Google Chrome now to reply and the box is like we like it. I also just opened IE on my work laptop and it looks fine too - no run on sentences...

Weird!!!!!

Posted by: Larry May 5 14, 11:12

Hi Lori,

I'm sure you have heard but I'll give you a head-up just in case.

DON'T USE IE!!!!!!!

There is a very vicious virus vacuuming vitals voraciously. It will get all your important data and possibly take over your computer and use it for its own purposes. I'm using Chrome or AOL until I hear that Microsoft has alleviated the problem.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis May 6 14, 07:08

Hi Larry,

Oh YES, I've heard of this one! I've updated my laptop at home and the Bose computer too (per a mandatory Microsoft update), ! Well - it's NOT funny but necessary...

I've finally gotten the MMHC results back and will be posting today = YAY! THAT took a long time! I've been away and need to get back into the groove.

Cheers,
~Cleo

Posted by: Larry May 19 14, 23:12

Star Trek

Within my wooded glen the veil of night
falls silently upon my eyes like rain
which drifts with summer’s breeze. Too light

a touch to feel yet dampening the lane
by laying down its mirrors. My heartbeat
reverberates in ways I can’t explain

to see reflected glory at my feet.
Could this be me or does the earth now cry
to fill the mottled gaps on silvered street

where I would deign to never say good-bye.
That stellar mist which falls from eon’s height
is merest ember from a lustrous sky

which shares its memories. No wrong or right
intrudes upon my woodland strolls at night.

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis May 20 14, 11:06

Beautiful as always!

Posted by: Larry May 23 14, 13:18

Thank you Lori,

Sometimes, beauty takes a little longer to create but it is always there, inside!

With summer approaching, it is a little more difficult to take these strolls through the woods due to the incessant
buzz of mosquitoes and the stifling heat and humidity which are a part and parcel of life in SE Louisiana.

Glad you enjoyed.

Larry

Posted by: Larry Jul 5 15, 13:52

Although rain was not really a factor, I am trying to quit!


Quitting

I haven’t had a smoke since late last night
because I’m camping out here in the rain
and they got wet. They’re very hard to light

so I tried drying them. The hilltop lane
had now become a creek and rain still beat
upon my tent. I really can’t explain

how water rushing in had soaked my feet
and in frustration, I began to cry.
I might as well throw them into the street

for truth be known I can’t just say good-bye
when this bad habit has surpassed its height
and they no longer help me reach the sky.

Rain forcing my decision must be right
when it’s propitiousness was sent last night.


Thank you Bob!

Larry