Hello Lanaia.
Congrats for making your first poetry post here at
!
I'll throw out a disclaimer to say that free verse is not my strength, however, I look for poetic devices within, along with the shape, sound and rhythm of FV poetry.
Before I offer a critique, since this is your first post, I'd like to find out if you are open to suggestions with regard to removing some of those prepositions and shifting of some of those longer lines? Since iam partial to alliteration, I will try to offer some word alternates in that area.
Let me know your thoughts and I'll be back!
~Cleo
P.S. I see you are emplying a rhyme scheme, so in that case, we should move this poem into Our R&M forum, Herme's Homilies, but I'll wait for your response first.