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The Language of Flowers |
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May 18 10, 01:57
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Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 138
Joined: 11-May 10
From: california
Member No.: 1,120
Real Name: karen
Writer of: Poetry
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okay- I tired to do a sonnet- not the best at it, but you guys are inspiring me.
I never knew you held a rosary of lilies in your heart, or meadows filled with songbirds in your hand, that chirped and trilled into the dawn. I could not sense the sea, or brimming emerald pools that filled your days and buoyed you up when midnight could not find one star. Your quiet life is intertwined with jasmine flowers, washed in amber haze of dusk— and I now see your fortitude in fullest bloom. It laces up the wall, determined petals, glorious and small; a silent strength that's often misconstrued. As evening's muted colors touch your leaves, I watch them wander upward to the eaves.
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May 19 10, 00:08
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Karen,
Tried to write a sonnet...? Come on, you make it look too easy. I have no nits to pick and no crits to make. 'Tis a thing of beauty and I must add just one word.
BRAVO!!!
Larry
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May 19 10, 00:08
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 9,313
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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This is beautiful, Karen! I've read it several times and find it so edifying, with a twinge of loss or sorrow for something missed along the way...
I'm no meter expert, so I'll not say anything about that, except that I might post some of my own attempts at R&F for you to help me get them right!
I love the 'language of flowers', which appears to be a delicate veil conceiling, maybe, somebody's death or departure, when it's too late for the MC to holler 'Whoa, there! I wanted to tell you.....'
Thanks for sharing this deftly written piece, Karen.
Sylvia***
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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May 19 10, 00:28
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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Dear Karen,
"okay- I tired to do a sonnet"
My my, what a strange start to a post containing a perfect sonnet in so many ways. Rhyme is spot on, ba-dums sound true, and the content is exactly as described within it :
glorious and small; a silent strength that's often misconstrued.
Perfect in every way, a real gem ! And Karen, that praise from Larry is priceless - he really knows his stuff.
Any chance of "trying" another ?
Love Alan
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May 19 10, 09:24
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Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 138
Joined: 11-May 10
From: california
Member No.: 1,120
Real Name: karen
Writer of: Poetry
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Hi Larry, You seriously made my day! I have written them before, but there is always something that needs changing or whatever... never got the "perfect stamp" from anyone ;-) K QUOTE (Larry @ May 19 10, 00:08 ) Hi Karen,
Tried to write a sonnet...? Come on, you make it look too easy. I have no nits to pick and no crits to make. 'Tis a thing of beauty and I must add just one word.
BRAVO!!!
Larry
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May 20 10, 13:22
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Hi Karen Well if this is a 'try' at writing a sonnet - I'd like to see more. It is excellent! It's a pleasure to read your verse with great rhymes & enjambments. bring on some more! You are an asset to MM. Snow
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May 20 10, 18:33
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Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 138
Joined: 11-May 10
From: california
Member No.: 1,120
Real Name: karen
Writer of: Poetry
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Hi Sylvia, Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment. I think the thought of dying brings out the best in some people? Or it shows off a side of them that is sometimes hidden. Karen QUOTE (Psyche @ May 19 10, 01:08 ) This is beautiful, Karen! I've read it several times and find it so edifying, with a twinge of loss or sorrow for something missed along the way...
I'm no meter expert, so I'll not say anything about that, except that I might post some of my own attempts at R&F for you to help me get them right!
I love the 'language of flowers', which appears to be a delicate veil conceiling, maybe, somebody's death or departure, when it's too late for the MC to holler 'Whoa, there! I wanted to tell you.....'
Thanks for sharing this deftly written piece, Karen.
Sylvia***
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May 20 10, 18:43
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Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 138
Joined: 11-May 10
From: california
Member No.: 1,120
Real Name: karen
Writer of: Poetry
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Hi Alan, Glad you liked it- this one actually came out easily. But what I meant about "trying" a sonnet was that I pretty much quit writing them because they are a pain-- and I didn't think the ones I've done in the past have turned out that well....a little line that doesn't look right, can unravel it all, if you have to edit. So basically, I don't like writing them much. It wasn't until I got here and got inspired by seeing them, that I wanted to try again. QUOTE (Alan @ May 19 10, 01:28 ) Dear Karen,
"okay- I tired to do a sonnet"
My my, what a strange start to a post containing a perfect sonnet in so many ways. Rhyme is spot on, ba-dums sound true, and the content is exactly as described within it :
glorious and small; a silent strength that's often misconstrued.
Perfect in every way, a real gem ! And Karen, that praise from Larry is priceless - he really knows his stuff.
Any chance of "trying" another ?
Love Alan
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May 20 10, 18:49
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Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 138
Joined: 11-May 10
From: california
Member No.: 1,120
Real Name: karen
Writer of: Poetry
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Hi snow, thanks for the kind words~ I appreciate them K QUOTE (Eisa @ May 20 10, 14:22 ) Hi Karen Well if this is a 'try' at writing a sonnet - I'd like to see more. It is excellent! It's a pleasure to read your verse with great rhymes & enjambments. bring on some more! You are an asset to MM. Snow
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Read our FLYERS - click below
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your writings. ENJOY!
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