Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[JustDaniel]

If your pet that goes moo takes a walk
and its butchering causes you shock
you'll repair that old fence
'cause it caused an offense
when you yelled at your neighbor ad hoc.

[Larry]

Ad hoc yelling at neighbors when you
realize what they’re saying is true
won’t accomplish too much
and it’s only a crutch
they will use to beat you black and blue.

[JustDaniel]

If they beat you with their black-and-white
and don't run out of rumors to write
give 'em somethin' to say
so they'll not overstay
their visit; yell "Shove it!" forthright.

[Larry]

If you’re forthright in yelling “Shove It!”
to somebody who’s wanting to quit
helping you push your car,
you won’t get very far;
call the wrecker and just let it sit.

[JustDaniel]

Since I called Triple-A, it won't sit,
but I sense that my wife may admit
she forgot to check water
as did our middle daughter;
I was calm and did not pitch a fit.

^{Fortunately, this did not really happen!}

[Larry]

I did not pitch a fit and was calm
as I treated my bruise with some balm
when I asked for a kiss
from a good looking miss;
she applauded request with one palm.

[JustDaniel]

With one palm she'd applaud his request;
he'd come close, thinking she'd acquiesced,
but she wiped off his grin
with a board to his chin
so that his whiskers now are recessed.

[Larry]

Saw his whiskers, he’s now at recess
and seems old but it’s anyone’s guess
as to what or which school
graduates such a fool
and lets him be a part of Congress.

[JustDaniel]

If in Congress you would have a part
I suspect that you're not very smart
'cause it's useless in there;
they have folly to spare.
Any bill has the chance of a fart.

[Larry]

Any fart has the chance to be billed
as the one smelling like something spilled
from a septic tank truck
or a skunk gone amok
but it’s probably garlic you grilled.

[JustDaniel]

If you're grilling with garlic, your speech
may be tainted with stench. When you reach
out to hug on a friend
you will likely offend
sensibilities, muffle a screech.

[Larry]

Sensibilities muffled a screech
when she knew help was not within reach
so in desperation
she pulled out a small gun
made of plastic but filled with some bleach.

[JustDaniel]

She sprayed bleach in his face with a gun
and he learned that she'd only begun,
'cause she tie-died his clothes
with the drips from his nose
and then swore she'd delete every pun.

[Larry]

She’d delete every pun and then swear
there was nothing obscene written there
but the twist of some phrases
confuse and a maze is
in need of roads scholars; au pair!

[JustDaniel]

I was kneed by roads scholars. Oh, pair!
Did you have to attack me just there?
When I can get up
you had best have a cup
'cause I'll kick in that spot till it's bare.

[Larry]

If your kick causes spots to be bare
I might question what used to be there
and were kicks the main reason
for tubes that he pees in
or isn’t that something you’d share?

[JustDaniel]

So you'd like to share pee from my tubes?
I'm afraid there'd be stuff from my pubes.
And would you pay the shipping?
It could end up dripping
in the U.P.S. driver's ice cubes.

[Larry]

UPS drives through ice in big cubes
painted brown, bringing boxes and tubes
to the suckers who drop
lots of bucks in a shop
found on-line. Are they boobs or just rubes?

[JustDaniel]

Neither boobs, nor they're rubes, 'cause they're Primers.
Pay for shipping? That's for the old-timers --
wasting gas to the stores.
While they're in and out doors
I'll be home having fun with the rhymers.

[Larry]

Having fun with the rhymers at home
was once nice; you could print out a tome
but like balding men’s hair
there’s now little to share;
one makes use of the finest toothed comb.