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> To Meet With God ***, Rondeau
JustDaniel
post Jul 2 17, 20:25
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To Meet With God

To meet with God in worship, I
bow down to lift my voice and cry
out, Holy Lord... I know Your rod
of justice humbles me, who's flawed.
Your grace is in the morning sky.

I need Your Word so I'll apply
it to my heart and to You fly
with friends who meet, though we're too blah'd
to meet with God.

I say, Hello and do not lie,
I'm glad to see you! But I sigh,
I need some quiet to be awed...
a moment just to rest my bod.
I've mostly come here to draw nigh
to meet with God.

© MLeeDickensson 02 July 2017

during a sermon on Worship in church


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Ali zonak
post Jul 3 17, 07:32
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Member No.: 5,325
Real Name: Ali Zonak
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Jul 2 17, 21:25 ) *
To Meet With God

To meet with God in worship, I
bow down to lift my voice and cry
out, Holy Lord... I know Your rod
of justice humbles me, who's flawed.
Your grace is in the morning sky.

I need Your Word so I'll apply
it to my heart and to You fly
with friends who meet, though we're too blah'd
to meet with God.

I say, Hello and do not lie,
I'm glad to see you! But I sigh,
I need some quiet to be awed...
a moment just to rest my bod.
I've mostly come here to draw nigh
to meet with God.

© MLeeDickensson 02 July 2017

during a sermon on Worship in church


Hi there, Daniel;
this looks like a nicely executed rondeau, even though I stay away from this form because I'm more of a teller of stories in ballad form. What makes me smile is your use of "informal" language like "bod, blah'd," in your personal communication with God. The line, "... it to my heart and to You fly," reads a bit awkward--but it's readable, and I don't think God is much of a grammarian. I can appreciate your footnote. Enjoyed, IndianChief.gif Ali


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JustDaniel
post Jul 6 17, 13:18
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Thank you for your thoughtful visit, Ali.

Yes, I often tend to write with informal language, and the reason that I do that is that most folks these days talk in it, and it is my desire to communicate in the language of the street.

The awkward language that you point to is absolutely correct. I was aware of the awkward inversion, but I'm working on a better way to say it within the bounds of the form. Perhaps it will come to me.

deLighting in your sharing, Daniel sun.gif


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Psyche
post Jul 25 17, 00:56
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From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting



Hi Daniel,
Great use of the rondeau form. And yes, I also like your use of street language. Makes it more genuine and entertaining. You're good at that. I don't think I could manage it properly due to the fact that I was taught English formerly in a bilingual school. My parents always spoke to me in English.
Nowadays I hardly speak English at all, except sometimes to my daughter.

Nice saying Hello to God, though I don't expect you actually see him! That would imply a vision. The nearest I get to "seeing God", is when I meditate and focus on my inner or third eye, which lies in the middle of my lower forehead. It comes and goes, and is never the same.

A pleasure to visit you here. Been a long time. Will return to read Larry's poems, must be off to bed now.
Best, Syl*** butterfly.gif


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The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

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