Greeting, Ter!
As I mentioned in another post, I'm still not quite sure what to make of 'haiku/senryu' that aren't in what we American's have come to think of 'traditional' haiku format, but I'm game!
Here you've created a sort of
half-septolet with and extra break, since the seven lines have only seven words, whereas a
septolet has fourteen. Ineresting comparison, huh? Methinks you have three snapshots here instead of the usual haiku two also?
QUOTE (Terocon101 @ Jul 10 07, 07:28 )
sad
wordless
kiss
loves
sorrowful
departure
...silence...
sad
her wordless kiss
blew sealed lips
dry
his love
left... a lone
sorrow
as a septolet...
or realigned as in a 'tradtional' haiku format, (but centered):
sad, her wordless kiss
blew sealed lips dry... his love
left... a lone sorrow
enjoyin' the playin' with your words, Daniel
This post has been edited by JustDaniel: Jul 23 07, 15:54