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> Train Journey, Free Verse
Arnfinn
post Jan 22 18, 04:36
Post #1


Creative Chieftain
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Posts: 2,587
Joined: 9-August 03
From: Australia
Member No.: 17
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry



Train Journey

No excitement—
slow rotation…
wheels slip brake shoes,
dynamic motors grumble— pulse;
carriages exhale in a rush of grit and dust.
Un-tethered the silvered eel dissolves into the
black-circle of enchantment— screaming with fright.

Within the train
Sway— rattle— bounce.
We sit Rae and me, knees barely
apart— our thoughts blended silence.

Arnfinn © 2018



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Arnfinn

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greenwich
post Aug 10 18, 09:57
Post #2


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Posts: 256
Joined: 2-November 15
From: Croydon, Surrey
Member No.: 5,284
Real Name: Antony Glaser
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Eira Rhaposdy



instead of motor why not engine. You have already mentioned grit and train therefore a steam train
no mention of subways in this good poem


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