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> Bligh, ***IP ababacdc dc
JaxMyth
post Aug 30 18, 08:32
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Bligh


Before the wind could whisper of a gale
my tongue would taste its presence in the air,
I’d feel the swell of ocean muscle hale
up from the deep, although all else was fair.
Before the canvas cracked, before the flail
of rigging gave, before a spar could split
along some sap-wrought weakness in its grain,
before a cloud could clear its throat and spit

I’d know, as though I’d scried this globe of pain
together with the One Who’d fashioned it.

I’m hard and I was born for hard command.
I’ve hammered down the sun and stars and nailed
their genius to my wake. I am the Hand
of God at sea and I have never failed
in duty nor have been by fear unmanned.
Yet I, despite all this, cannot exscind
that I am man who cannot fathom man
and soft with men I should have disciplined.

I'm forced to map anew my mortal span,
they’ve put me arse unbreeked, into the wind.


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Larry
post Aug 30 18, 13:05
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Hello Jax,

I see you have three asterisks for critique purposes but I can find nothing I would change. You wrote a very good poem for the Captain's point of view but I doubt he did a lot of soul-searching when running his ship. You gave him what I think he deserved and that being said, I got a nice chuckle out of your last couplet.

Larry


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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JaxMyth
post Aug 30 18, 20:09
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QUOTE (Larry @ Aug 31 18, 04:05 ) *
Hello Jax,

I see you have three asterisks for critique purposes but I can find nothing I would change. You wrote a very good poem for the Captain's point of view but I doubt he did a lot of soul-searching when running his ship. You gave him what I think he deserved and that being said, I got a nice chuckle out of your last couplet.

Larry


Bligh was much maligned especially by the mindlessness of Hollywood but he was a brilliant and courageous seaman and navigator although one with little understanding of his fellow men

He was indeed hauled out of bed with his arse unbreeked.

Regards,

Jax





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JaxMyth
post Aug 30 18, 20:09
Post #4


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From: Oz
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Writer of: Poetry
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QUOTE (Larry @ Aug 31 18, 04:05 ) *
Hello Jax,

I see you have three asterisks for critique purposes but I can find nothing I would change. You wrote a very good poem for the Captain's point of view but I doubt he did a lot of soul-searching when running his ship. You gave him what I think he deserved and that being said, I got a nice chuckle out of your last couplet.

Larry


Bligh was much maligned especially by the mindlessness of Hollywood but he was a brilliant and courageous seaman and navigator although one with little understanding of his fellow men

He was indeed hauled out of bed with his arse unbreeked.

Regards,

Jax





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JustDaniel
post Sep 13 19, 06:07
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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I should say here, however belated, that I'd read this long ago, along with Larry's observations, and since his were precisely mine, I said nothing. If you still stop in here, I apologize for my silence. Lightly, Daniel sun.gif


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