Dinner's Served, Blank Options

[Guest_Kathy_*]

Mary's latest link to Jude's Challenges reminded her of this one, and she asked me to post my response at MM.

So here's the Challenge:


Challenge #66: household thing/situation

From Thomas Hardy's "The Announcement"...

"They came, the brothers, and took two chairs
In their usual quiet way..."

Your challenge today is to write a poem about household things, or a household situation ... there MUST be at least one piece of furniture named, and there MUST be a family member. Look for something extraordinary in an ordinary scene.

Jude

And my try at meeting it:

Dinner's Served.

We sit around the table. Mother brings
the meal, and we begin to eat, as clouds
of moths arrive to wing in spirals, fling
their bodies at the light, where they collide
to flutter stunned on to the table-cloth.

A moth has landed in the gravy, where
it struggles desperately before it drowns
and spreads a milky stain of sodden scales.
The youngest child lets out a wail, "Oh no!
A moth is in my food. How can I eat!"

But Father scoffs, says "Moths won't kill you son,
for they're a staple meal for some, look here."
He snatches rapidly and captures one
fat bodied, flapping, dazed unfortunate,
and stuffs it in his mouth. We watch, amazed.

The moment's led the man and moth into
a trap, and in a trice it dawns on him,
the trap is his big silly gob. A blob
of mothy-stuff is on his tongue, his eyes
go wide; he feels that wriggle there inside.

And then we laugh. He has to swallow now
and when he does we lean back in our chairs
to gasp for air, collapse in helpless mirth,
and brush our tears away with shaking hands.
But Travis ate his meal, and now, though years

have gone, when moths fly round that time of year
we smile and call, "Hey Peter! Dinner's here."

[Merlin]

I remember this, Kathy.
I enjoyed it then and I enjoyed it now.

Merlin

[AMETHYST]

Hi Kathy I love this poem ... You have shared it, but it is wonderful to have the link as well...

Here's the link to Dinner's Served Located in Seren's because it was your earlier posts and didnt realize that Blank Verse was Formed verse. And I, like a silly didn't move it to Herme's sorry.

Perhaps we could merge the two threads or leave it as is. There's nothing wrong with reposting a poem. However I think you had gotten lots of good feedback and some revision considerations.

Hugs, Liz

[Guest_Kathy_*]

Eek. Sorry 'bout that.

Please someone, remove all this for me. Thanks.

K

[Mary Boren]

Well, before it goes away, just let me say thanks again, Kathy, for sharing this endearing slice of life. What a treasure you have given your children. I thoroughly enjoyed. -M.

[Guest_Kathy_*]

Thank you, Mary

[AMETHYST]

I don't think we need to remove it at all. I didn't want to interrupt the wonder of this poem, just connect the comments already offered and we can always just put the link to the original thread. No need to worry. This is fine as is...

Hugs, Liz ...

[Judi]

Mary's latest link to Jude's Challenges reminded her of this one, and she asked me to post my response at MM.

So here's the Challenge:


Challenge #66: household thing/situation

From Thomas Hardy's "The Announcement"...

"They came, the brothers, and took two chairs
In their usual quiet way..."

Your challenge today is to write a poem about household things, or a household situation ... there MUST be at least one piece of furniture named, and there MUST be a family member. Look for something extraordinary in an ordinary scene.

Jude

And my try at meeting it:

Dinner's Served.

We sit around the table. Mother brings
the meal, and we begin to eat, as clouds
of moths arrive to wing in spirals, fling
their bodies at the light, where they collide
to flutter stunned on to the table-cloth.

A moth has landed in the gravy, where
it struggles desperately before it drowns
and spreads a milky stain of sodden scales.
The youngest child lets out a wail, "Oh no!
A moth is in my food. How can I eat!"

But Father scoffs, says "Moths won't kill you son,
for they're a staple meal for some, look here."
He snatches rapidly and captures one
fat bodied, flapping, dazed unfortunate,
and stuffs it in his mouth. We watch, amazed.

The moment's led the man and moth into
I just wondered if "dad and moth" might sound better.?

a trap, and in a trice it dawns on him,
the trap is his big silly gob. A blob
of mothy-stuff is on his tongue, his eyes
go wide; he feels that wriggle there inside.

And then we laugh. He has to swallow now
and when he does we lean back in our chairs
to gasp for air, collapse in helpless mirth,
and brush our tears away with shaking hands.
But Travis ate his meal, and now, though years

have gone, when moths fly round that time of year
we smile and call, "Hey Peter! Dinner's here."

just a suggestion...use or lose...I enjoyed the humor in this so much...Judi

[Guest_Kathy_*]

Ah, thanks Judi, it's good to know that somebody read it, and thanks for your comments.

K