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> The Creature
Keith Logan
post Oct 2 13, 03:37
Post #1


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Joined: 30-September 13
Member No.: 5,188
Real Name: Keith Logan
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Hello folks,

This poem probably does not belong in this forum but...
I have no intention to change it in any way.
Yes, I know I should at least sort the sentence structure but...
It's the first poem I wrote, around April 64, that was 3 months before my 13th birthday.
Keith, the happy chappy

The Creature (Reflections on Vietnam)

Have you heard of the creature that prowled in the wood?
And frightened the people and stole half their food
Then off went a huntsman with all his brave men
To hunt for the creature, but never again
Some men returned; others did not
For it wasn't the creature, but they that were sought
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Oct 7 13, 11:51
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Not bad at all, Keith (for a 13 wee old). magictongue.png rock.gif

Enjoyed the read!
~Cleo galadriel.gif


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

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Keith Logan
post Oct 7 13, 14:53
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Real Name: Keith Logan
Writer of: Poetry



I wrote that poem long ago
when fire of life was all aglow
but let me think.
Have I matured these many years
of carefree days devoid of tears;
return your wink.

the happy chappy
 
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Maureen
post Oct 18 13, 19:13
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From: Australia - The great Southern Land
Member No.: 5,178
Real Name: Maureen Clifford
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:arnfinn



Well I reckon that was good for a 13 year old as well - I have read poems written by adults that don't come up to the same standard - seems you're style has changed a bit over the years..thank you for sharing it and I wouldn't change it either.

Have you thought about incorporating it into another poem perhaps? Just a thought

Cheers

Maureen


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Keith Logan
post Oct 18 13, 20:41
Post #5


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Joined: 30-September 13
Member No.: 5,188
Real Name: Keith Logan
Writer of: Poetry



Hi Maureen,

Thanks for your good opinion but no, I have never been tempted to return o the subject of politics - too depressing. I have several times considered writing about my father's war experiences but concluded that my knowledge of day to day conditions is inadequate to do proper justice. I do write a fair number of poems on the fairy tale aspect though, like this one...

The Sacrifice

The sword was from its scabbard drawn
and thrust into the air.
The knight was now a foolish pawn
in taking up this dare.

He stood alone against a dragon
to save a pretty maid,
without suspecting aught was wrong,
the trap was so well laid.

The village knew it would not wait,
the monster had it's price.
The maiden purely used as bait,
the knight, the sacrifice

Keith, the happy chappy
 
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