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> LIGHT'S OUT, Irreverence
Alan
post Aug 20 09, 02:27
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LIGHT’S OUT

It was a wrench,
at eight bells,
to part from the wench
when she went to the powder room

to powder her nose -
what a delicious idea -
was not, I suppose
easy, in the deepest of gloom

The light bulb - and life’s -
quite transient nature
which causes much strife
is not shielded from death’s dreaded doom

Fate’s caught you off guard
altogether that night
clearly marked is your card :
“there is, sadly, no in at the womb ...”

Alan McAlpine Douglas

Challenge words : wrench eight powder nose
delicious transient bulb shield card together



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Peterpan
post Aug 20 09, 07:36
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Gee Alan, perhaps I am a bit confused here.

Can it be 'no inn at the womb'??

Not sure I understand it all in totality. Working on the comprehension...

Bev


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Thoth
post Aug 20 09, 15:19
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Brilliant Alan, I loved it!

The very clever play on words had me smiling throughout, especially the last line - very good indeed! I liked the novel rhyme pattern too.

Thank you for sharing you wonderful humor.

Wally


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Alan
post Aug 20 09, 16:33
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Dear Bev,

Thanks for the visit, and being brave enough to ask !

Can it be 'no inn at the womb'?? - Could be a reversal of "no room at the inn', No ?

The worst laid plans of men, etc etc ....

Do I need to add that this is very light-hearted ?

Love
Alan


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Alan
post Aug 20 09, 16:34
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Dear Wally,

Thank you, I'm always pleased to have someone smiling ! That last line just fell into place. And at the very last minute.

Love
Alan


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JLY
post Aug 21 09, 05:56
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Alan,
This was a joy to read and the required challenge words seem to fit very well together.

A good way for me to start my day, with a grin and a smile.

JLY


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Guest_ohsteve_*
post Aug 21 09, 12:52
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Alan, I keep hearing that last line in a bugs bunny voice...lol wascally wabbit. I needed the grin too.

Steve
 
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Alan
post Aug 21 09, 16:04
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Dear John and Steve,

A smile a day keeps the blues away, thank you both very much. John, there was one final word I had quite some trouble with, but can't recall which one now.

And Steve, well spotted re Bugs.

Love
Alan


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ace
post Aug 22 09, 17:51
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Alan:


I should have replied to this one sooner to comment upon the uniquen rhyme scheme
(something like A-B-A-C; D-E-D-C; F-G-F-C; H-I-H-C ?) and to say how I enjoyed the final line
(unfortunately with which I am too familiar).


ace
 
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ace
post Aug 22 09, 17:53
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Alan:


I should have replied to this one sooner to comment upon the uniquen rhyme scheme
(something like A-B-A-C; D-E-D-C; F-G-F-C; H-I-H-C ?) and to say how I enjoyed the final line
(unfortunately with which I am too familiar).


ace
 
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Alan
post Aug 22 09, 19:38
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Dear Ace,

Your post was so good you had to post it twice, as they used to sing about NY !

Thank you for the comment. The rhyme scheme happened merely cuz in the first verse lines 1 and 3 rhymed. I then tried to get all the 4th lines to rhyme too, and I'm glad to know from you and others earlier that this was not a distraction, rather that it worked pretty well.

Ace, that complaint seems to be one poets suffer from, or at least, they are willing to talk/write about it. I recently saw an old John Betjeman interview, in which he was asked if he had any regrets, and straightaway answered that he would have liked to have had more sex.

We are ploughing a famous furrow, you and I, even if it not the one we were aiming at !

Love
Alan


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