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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms _ The Plight of the Mockingbird

Posted by: bbnixon Jun 14 07, 20:01

The Plight of the Mockingbird

sing-song
sang mockingbird
I long for my own song
not one borrowed from another
song-sing

Posted by: Terocon101 Jun 15 07, 19:21

sing-song
sang (a)mockingbird Maybe insert "a"
I long for my own song
not one borrowed from another
song-sing

Hi Brenda,

Its kinda sad this one isn't it? No real crit for you here, but I hate seeing an empty reply box and its the second time I've read it, so I felt I should say something.

Terry

Posted by: bbnixon Jun 16 07, 08:41

Hi Terry,

Yes sad for the mockingbird..perhaps...just a thought I had. Thank you for my filling my empty box...it is greatly appreciated...can't add the "a" then my count would be off. I almost never write any kind of formed verse. I suck at it. Drive myself crazy with counts and meter, and stresses....makes me insane...For some reason though I like cinquains...so I try on occassion....

thank you for the read and the reply box deposit. I will return the favor.

:) brenda

QUOTE (Terocon101 @ Jun 15 07, 19:21 )

Posted by: Terocon101 Jun 16 07, 11:24

Yes sad for the mockingbird..perhaps...just a thought I had. Thank you for my filling my empty box...it is greatly appreciated...can't add the "a" then my count would be off. I almost never write any kind of formed verse. I suck at it. Drive myself crazy with counts and meter, and stresses....makes me insane...For some reason though I like cinquains...so I try on occassion....

Hey Brenda,

LOL, I know how you feel about writing in form, it can wreck the head. Umm, so theres a word count in this cinquain, sorry I was oblivious. Where can I find the rules of this form??

Terry

Posted by: bbnixon Jun 16 07, 12:05

Terry,

Lots of variation...formal and more informal...I use the informal below...here is a link to learn more

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinquain

Cinquain also has a more specialized meaning. Under the influence of Japanese poetry, the American poet Adelaide Crapsey developed a poetic form she also called a "cinquain." Hers is a short, unrhymed poem of twenty-two syllables, five lines of 2, 4, 6, 8, 2 syllables respectively

:) brenda

Posted by: Terocon101 Jun 16 07, 14:49

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinquain

Thanks Brenda, it seem the shorter the form the more rules involved. I will have to give it a go though.

Wikipedia, I love that site, and Wikiquote, even better.

Cheers,

Terry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jun 17 07, 14:12

Hi Bebe.

One variation I heard recently was that these must be in iambic meter. I think these look better center-aligned IMHO.

While reading this, I guess my nits are that I got a bit tongue-tied and assume your repeat of words is intentional? With so few words to use in this form, I'm not certain if it works? I take away from this that this individual wants to be unique, so offer a few alternates to take or toss as you wish.

chirps for sang in L2 and for L3 & 4:
I long to hear my song
singly performed like no other

Enjoyed!
~Cleo