Hi Sam.
This poem has many various interps one could take away, and switching the lines around also gives a neat perspective. As an exercise, (something Lary told me before when trying to teach me about haiku), is to try another angle, zooming in on one leaf perhaps and one path (diverged) as an idea?
One thing I think might further emphasize the 'wow' juxtaposition of the leaves as strays, while the mosaic tumbles could be to swap L2 and L3 around. By playing it that way - you leave the reader to ponder the line: 'the mosaic slides away' and link fair winds/leaves to barren paths.
Are you a traditional haiku writer - 5/7/5 as demonstrated in your post, or are you open to a more contemporary approach that allows for no more than 17 sylls?
QUOTE
fair winds stir the leaves
the mosaic slides away
paths are left barren
then switch #1 leaves me thinking of a barren path/lost soul as the focus, the mosaic crumbling/insecurities revealed and the wind stirring up mischief (like a storm approaching and a decision forthcoming).
paths are left barren
the mosaic slides away
fair winds stir the leaves
Seitch #2 is in the actions of the unknown mosaic sliding away - where is it going, what has happened, why? I like this line as the hanger, so would love to see you consider it as L3.
Fair winds stir the leaves
paths are left barren (you could add a descriptor here, like what kind of path)
The mosaic slides...
Well, I await your reply!
~Cleo